cows, great yoke a pitchfork.’
‘Ay, that’s right.’ Timmy chimed in, ‘I use the handle sometimes to stir the milk in the churn.’
‘I don’t want to hear another word about that wretched fork, just get it out of this kitchen.’
Queenie’s temper was beginning to worsen. She started to pour a small amount of milk into each cup.
‘What’s this?’ said Timmy.
‘This,’ said Oilly, ‘is an English cup of tay. You put the milk in first and you get nothing to ate with it.’
Queenie poured a cup for herself and swept out of the kitchen.
‘I’m going to my room and I’m taking my cup of tay with me. You lot can have your tay and your bread and your hay if you wish.’
When she was safely out of earshot Oilly signalled the others to gather round.
‘Now, me lads,’ he said quietly, ‘we’ll have to do something about Queenie. The last time she was here she turned this house inside out, she burned some of my best work-clothes, she made us buy carpet for the parlour, linoleum for the stairs and we had to set up that toilet yoke at the back of the pig house. I couldn’t go through the like of that again.’
‘But, but what can we do?’ Andy spoke in a low voice.
‘We’ll fix her up with a fella, I know just the man.’
Oilly laughingly rubbed his hands.
‘Piro Callanan!’
‘But, but Piro’s wife only died six months ago.’
Andy was doubtful about any scheme devised by his brother.
‘Queenie was mad about Piro before she went across the water.’
‘Aye but do you not remember they had a falling out and both married someone else?’
‘When a man loses his wife he’s always in the market for a replacement and Queenie is just the ticket.’
‘Maybe, but how are you going to bring them together in such a short space of time?’
‘I have an idea. Piro never learned to drive. His wife drove him everywhere and the car is still there.’
‘So, maybe he doesn’t want to be driven anywhere.’
‘He does, he told me the other day that he desperately needs to visit his sister in Dublin and he hates the buses and Queenie is always telling us how great a driver she is. Well, now we’ll give her a chance to prove it.’
‘But what if the car won’t start?’ said Timmy. ‘Or if he won’t go with her?’
‘It’ll start. Piro always looks after things. I’ll bet any money it’ll start and he’ll go with her, you’ll see.’
‘Now, Timmy, you have a role in this plan too. I want you to get over to Piro right now and tell him to be ready at nine o’clock in the morning. Meself and Andy will make sure that Queenie gets there supposing we have to carry her.’
‘And now for the second part of my plan. The day that Queenie left for the nursing in England we gave her a right send-off. We had a party in the house. We roasted a pig. We ate, drank and danced. It’s time we had another shindig and we’ll invite Piro and all the neighbours and, me lads, we’ll let nature take its course. We’ll have the party ready for tomorrow night when they come back from Dublin.’
‘You know, Oilly, that plan might have something going for it. What do you think, Timmy?’
‘I don’t remember that party. When was it?’
‘You were probably not even born. It was years ago. Now will you get going and tell Piro, nine o’clock sharp and he’s to come over here immediately after he gets home.’
Oilly’s plan seemed to work even better than he had hoped. He told Queenie at the breakfast table that Piro was in desperate need of a driver that morning and that no one could drive in the city like she could. She seemed stunned and her eyes lit up like a teenager being asked out on a first date. She did not even tell off Andy for what she considered his obnoxious habit of slurping his tea from the saucer.
The two brothers wasted no time that day. As soon as Queenie had left, Timmy had come on his green bike and given the sign that the Queen and Piro were on the road to Dublin. Family and
‘Ay, that’s right.’ Timmy chimed in, ‘I use the handle sometimes to stir the milk in the churn.’
‘I don’t want to hear another word about that wretched fork, just get it out of this kitchen.’
Queenie’s temper was beginning to worsen. She started to pour a small amount of milk into each cup.
‘What’s this?’ said Timmy.
‘This,’ said Oilly, ‘is an English cup of tay. You put the milk in first and you get nothing to ate with it.’
Queenie poured a cup for herself and swept out of the kitchen.
‘I’m going to my room and I’m taking my cup of tay with me. You lot can have your tay and your bread and your hay if you wish.’
When she was safely out of earshot Oilly signalled the others to gather round.
‘Now, me lads,’ he said quietly, ‘we’ll have to do something about Queenie. The last time she was here she turned this house inside out, she burned some of my best work-clothes, she made us buy carpet for the parlour, linoleum for the stairs and we had to set up that toilet yoke at the back of the pig house. I couldn’t go through the like of that again.’
‘But, but what can we do?’ Andy spoke in a low voice.
‘We’ll fix her up with a fella, I know just the man.’
Oilly laughingly rubbed his hands.
‘Piro Callanan!’
‘But, but Piro’s wife only died six months ago.’
Andy was doubtful about any scheme devised by his brother.
‘Queenie was mad about Piro before she went across the water.’
‘Aye but do you not remember they had a falling out and both married someone else?’
‘When a man loses his wife he’s always in the market for a replacement and Queenie is just the ticket.’
‘Maybe, but how are you going to bring them together in such a short space of time?’
‘I have an idea. Piro never learned to drive. His wife drove him everywhere and the car is still there.’
‘So, maybe he doesn’t want to be driven anywhere.’
‘He does, he told me the other day that he desperately needs to visit his sister in Dublin and he hates the buses and Queenie is always telling us how great a driver she is. Well, now we’ll give her a chance to prove it.’
‘But what if the car won’t start?’ said Timmy. ‘Or if he won’t go with her?’
‘It’ll start. Piro always looks after things. I’ll bet any money it’ll start and he’ll go with her, you’ll see.’
‘Now, Timmy, you have a role in this plan too. I want you to get over to Piro right now and tell him to be ready at nine o’clock in the morning. Meself and Andy will make sure that Queenie gets there supposing we have to carry her.’
‘And now for the second part of my plan. The day that Queenie left for the nursing in England we gave her a right send-off. We had a party in the house. We roasted a pig. We ate, drank and danced. It’s time we had another shindig and we’ll invite Piro and all the neighbours and, me lads, we’ll let nature take its course. We’ll have the party ready for tomorrow night when they come back from Dublin.’
‘You know, Oilly, that plan might have something going for it. What do you think, Timmy?’
‘I don’t remember that party. When was it?’
‘You were probably not even born. It was years ago. Now will you get going and tell Piro, nine o’clock sharp and he’s to come over here immediately after he gets home.’
Oilly’s plan seemed to work even better than he had hoped. He told Queenie at the breakfast table that Piro was in desperate need of a driver that morning and that no one could drive in the city like she could. She seemed stunned and her eyes lit up like a teenager being asked out on a first date. She did not even tell off Andy for what she considered his obnoxious habit of slurping his tea from the saucer.
The two brothers wasted no time that day. As soon as Queenie had left, Timmy had come on his green bike and given the sign that the Queen and Piro were on the road to Dublin. Family and
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