around his lean waist and press her hot face to his back.
Logan’s muscles were granite under her touch, but she didn’t let go.
“It sounds to me,” she murmured urgently, “like Dylan isn’t the one who hates you
for leaving him. It sounds like you hate yourself. But Logan—your parents had just
died, tragically and suddenly, and your world was spinning off its axis. You handled
it the only way you knew how. Please, please don’t hate yourself for that.”
“Dylan was only a kid. He needed me, and I could’ve stayed. I chose to leave, I chose
college over taking care of my baby brother.”
“You were a kid, too.” Jessica snugged up as close to Logan as she could, until she
couldn’t tell her own heartbeat from his. “So young. What were you, sixteen?”
Logan cleared his throat. “Fourteen. I’d already skipped a couple grades.”
Squeezing her eyes shut against the burn of tears, Jessica mouthed a quick, fervent
kiss against the body-warm cotton of his T-shirt. “Only a baby yourself. Logan—”
“I should have stayed. But what could I have done? I don’t know the first thing about
comforting someone else, or making them feel better. All I knew was that I was in
raw, screaming pain, and I had to escape it any way I could—which was by throwing
myself completely into my work.”
“That’s not true.” She tightened her arms around him. “That you’re bad at comforting
people. No matter what we talk about, or how emotional I get, you always make me feel
like it’s okay. You listen. That’s all anyone can do.”
He slumped another inch over the table, hanging his shaggy head between his stiff
arms. “So I should have stayed and listened to Dylan have nightmares and cry for Mom
and Dad.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You did what you needed to at the time, to cope with
your own grief.” Although she was starting to suspect that he hadn’t coped with that
grief at all; instead, he’d grabbed onto the challenges of college at fourteen years
old to avoid facing it. How had he put it? That he escaped completely into his work.
But no one could outrun a loss like that forever. Jessica was very much afraid that
Logan could never truly be healthy and well-adjusted until he dealt with the pain
of the past.
“I should have listened to him,” Logan repeated, like a looped recording, and Jessica
let out a shaky breath.
“It’s too late to help your eight-year-old brother,” she said, as firmly and gently
as she could. “You can’t go back in time. You have to let it go … and realize that
you’ve been blessed with a second chance.”
“What do you mean?” His wrecked voice came from deep inside his chest.
“You can listen to Dylan now.” She kissed him once between his shoulder blades, then
again because she couldn’t help herself, before glancing at the digital clock on the
stove. “Come on. Let’s go wild and skip dinner, head straight for dessert. Last one
up the garden path to the big house has to wash the dishes.”
Logan straightened slowly, as if his bones ached, but when she finally got a look
at his face, there was a small smile curving his mouth. “Dessert for dinner? Doesn’t
sound very healthy to me.”
“It’s okay to let yourself enjoy life sometimes,” Jessica said, brushing a tentative
hand over his jaw.
He turned his head to plant a kiss that left her palm tingling. Meeting her gaze directly,
he admitted, “That’s not the easiest thing for me. But I’ll try. I want to do better.”
Joy lifted Jessica’s heart into her throat. She’d never felt closer to anyone than
she did to Logan in that moment. “That’s good. Because you’re a Harrington—and what
you boys want, you usually get.”
But as they left the summer cottage and walked up the winding path through the twilight
garden, Jessica’s happiness was tempered by the fact that if Logan was truly improving
so
Logan’s muscles were granite under her touch, but she didn’t let go.
“It sounds to me,” she murmured urgently, “like Dylan isn’t the one who hates you
for leaving him. It sounds like you hate yourself. But Logan—your parents had just
died, tragically and suddenly, and your world was spinning off its axis. You handled
it the only way you knew how. Please, please don’t hate yourself for that.”
“Dylan was only a kid. He needed me, and I could’ve stayed. I chose to leave, I chose
college over taking care of my baby brother.”
“You were a kid, too.” Jessica snugged up as close to Logan as she could, until she
couldn’t tell her own heartbeat from his. “So young. What were you, sixteen?”
Logan cleared his throat. “Fourteen. I’d already skipped a couple grades.”
Squeezing her eyes shut against the burn of tears, Jessica mouthed a quick, fervent
kiss against the body-warm cotton of his T-shirt. “Only a baby yourself. Logan—”
“I should have stayed. But what could I have done? I don’t know the first thing about
comforting someone else, or making them feel better. All I knew was that I was in
raw, screaming pain, and I had to escape it any way I could—which was by throwing
myself completely into my work.”
“That’s not true.” She tightened her arms around him. “That you’re bad at comforting
people. No matter what we talk about, or how emotional I get, you always make me feel
like it’s okay. You listen. That’s all anyone can do.”
He slumped another inch over the table, hanging his shaggy head between his stiff
arms. “So I should have stayed and listened to Dylan have nightmares and cry for Mom
and Dad.”
“That’s not what I’m saying. You did what you needed to at the time, to cope with
your own grief.” Although she was starting to suspect that he hadn’t coped with that
grief at all; instead, he’d grabbed onto the challenges of college at fourteen years
old to avoid facing it. How had he put it? That he escaped completely into his work.
But no one could outrun a loss like that forever. Jessica was very much afraid that
Logan could never truly be healthy and well-adjusted until he dealt with the pain
of the past.
“I should have listened to him,” Logan repeated, like a looped recording, and Jessica
let out a shaky breath.
“It’s too late to help your eight-year-old brother,” she said, as firmly and gently
as she could. “You can’t go back in time. You have to let it go … and realize that
you’ve been blessed with a second chance.”
“What do you mean?” His wrecked voice came from deep inside his chest.
“You can listen to Dylan now.” She kissed him once between his shoulder blades, then
again because she couldn’t help herself, before glancing at the digital clock on the
stove. “Come on. Let’s go wild and skip dinner, head straight for dessert. Last one
up the garden path to the big house has to wash the dishes.”
Logan straightened slowly, as if his bones ached, but when she finally got a look
at his face, there was a small smile curving his mouth. “Dessert for dinner? Doesn’t
sound very healthy to me.”
“It’s okay to let yourself enjoy life sometimes,” Jessica said, brushing a tentative
hand over his jaw.
He turned his head to plant a kiss that left her palm tingling. Meeting her gaze directly,
he admitted, “That’s not the easiest thing for me. But I’ll try. I want to do better.”
Joy lifted Jessica’s heart into her throat. She’d never felt closer to anyone than
she did to Logan in that moment. “That’s good. Because you’re a Harrington—and what
you boys want, you usually get.”
But as they left the summer cottage and walked up the winding path through the twilight
garden, Jessica’s happiness was tempered by the fact that if Logan was truly improving
so
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