he really did smile. “Yes. He was … ” He shook his head. “Yeah. He was hot .”
“Was that supposed to be an imitation of me?” she asked, mock-offended.
“I thought it was rather good,” Robert replied.
“Oh, was it?” Donna laughed. “ Rather good .”
And then they were both laughing together, and somehow the laughter didn’t feel so wrong to Donna anymore. There had to be light to balance the darkness in life—otherwise, what was the point? She’d read that somewhere. Or maybe she was just thinking about Star Wars again.
“Seriously,” she said, taking a breath. “What happened?”
Robert looked away. “He told the other guys that it was me who’d tried to kiss him . The worst part of it was that I would never have told them anything. Even if he wanted to stay closeted for the rest of his stupid life, that’s his business. Not mine. But he kissed me , I kissed him back, and he was happy about it. There was a moment where I saw it in his eyes.”
“What did they say? Your other friends.” Donna had a horrible feeling she already knew.
“They called me ‘queer’ and ‘fairy’ and made my life a living hell for the better part of a year. They weren’t my friends, not anymore. I kept thinking, something else will happen to take their attention off me. Somebody else will screw up and become the focus of all their crap.” He shook his head. “I actually hoped that would happen. What kind of person does that make me? I hoped that one of my classmates would do something wrong in their eyes and start taking the heat so I’d get a break.”
Donna shook her head. “Nobody who’s been bullied would blame you for that.”
He didn’t reply, and she didn’t push him on it.
“So,” she said, poking him playfully in the arm.
He leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of them on the mat.
“So … what?” he asked.
“Considering that your not-so-friendly friend lied to everyone about what happened, why didn’t you just tell them the truth?”
“You think they would have believed me? I doubt they’d even have listened.”
“But you didn’t even try,” Donna repeated. “It wasn’t fair, what they did.”
Robert shook his head, his wide shoulders filled with tension. “You don’t understand. I was different from them, right? Too different.”
“You think I don’t get being different ?”
He didn’t look at her. “I know you understand that. That’s why I like you.”
“Then, what? Tell me. Please?”
“I don’t even know how to say it. I’m not as good at getting things off my chest as you are.” He smiled sadly. “Maybe it’s my British half.”
Donna touched his hand and was intensely glad when he didn’t move it away.
“I get it,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows, his gaze meeting hers and filling with scepticism.
Donna’s voice was quiet. “You didn’t explain what really happened because you cared about him. Despite what he’d done.”
Robert’s cheeks flushed, and Donna knew she’d hit home. “Maybe I did still care. I’m an idiot, though. Look how well it worked out for me.”
“I think maybe it worked out better than you realize.”
“What does that mean?”
Donna held his hand. “Where’s this guy now? What’s he doing with his life?”
“Honestly? I don’t have the first bloody clue.”
“And what are you doing with yours ?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “Saving the world?”
She bumped his shoulder with hers. “I rest my case.”
They sat in comfortable silence for another minute before Robert’s voice broke into her thoughts once more. “Hey, listen,” he said. “Maybe we should call it a day—I don’t mind letting you off early for once, considering everything that’s going on. Do you want to get cleaned up before breakfast?”
“Are you kidding?” she replied, jumping up and striking the “ready” pose. “I’m only just getting started.”
Six
S t. Martin-in-the-Fields stood directly
“Was that supposed to be an imitation of me?” she asked, mock-offended.
“I thought it was rather good,” Robert replied.
“Oh, was it?” Donna laughed. “ Rather good .”
And then they were both laughing together, and somehow the laughter didn’t feel so wrong to Donna anymore. There had to be light to balance the darkness in life—otherwise, what was the point? She’d read that somewhere. Or maybe she was just thinking about Star Wars again.
“Seriously,” she said, taking a breath. “What happened?”
Robert looked away. “He told the other guys that it was me who’d tried to kiss him . The worst part of it was that I would never have told them anything. Even if he wanted to stay closeted for the rest of his stupid life, that’s his business. Not mine. But he kissed me , I kissed him back, and he was happy about it. There was a moment where I saw it in his eyes.”
“What did they say? Your other friends.” Donna had a horrible feeling she already knew.
“They called me ‘queer’ and ‘fairy’ and made my life a living hell for the better part of a year. They weren’t my friends, not anymore. I kept thinking, something else will happen to take their attention off me. Somebody else will screw up and become the focus of all their crap.” He shook his head. “I actually hoped that would happen. What kind of person does that make me? I hoped that one of my classmates would do something wrong in their eyes and start taking the heat so I’d get a break.”
Donna shook her head. “Nobody who’s been bullied would blame you for that.”
He didn’t reply, and she didn’t push him on it.
“So,” she said, poking him playfully in the arm.
He leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of them on the mat.
“So … what?” he asked.
“Considering that your not-so-friendly friend lied to everyone about what happened, why didn’t you just tell them the truth?”
“You think they would have believed me? I doubt they’d even have listened.”
“But you didn’t even try,” Donna repeated. “It wasn’t fair, what they did.”
Robert shook his head, his wide shoulders filled with tension. “You don’t understand. I was different from them, right? Too different.”
“You think I don’t get being different ?”
He didn’t look at her. “I know you understand that. That’s why I like you.”
“Then, what? Tell me. Please?”
“I don’t even know how to say it. I’m not as good at getting things off my chest as you are.” He smiled sadly. “Maybe it’s my British half.”
Donna touched his hand and was intensely glad when he didn’t move it away.
“I get it,” she said.
He raised his eyebrows, his gaze meeting hers and filling with scepticism.
Donna’s voice was quiet. “You didn’t explain what really happened because you cared about him. Despite what he’d done.”
Robert’s cheeks flushed, and Donna knew she’d hit home. “Maybe I did still care. I’m an idiot, though. Look how well it worked out for me.”
“I think maybe it worked out better than you realize.”
“What does that mean?”
Donna held his hand. “Where’s this guy now? What’s he doing with his life?”
“Honestly? I don’t have the first bloody clue.”
“And what are you doing with yours ?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “Saving the world?”
She bumped his shoulder with hers. “I rest my case.”
They sat in comfortable silence for another minute before Robert’s voice broke into her thoughts once more. “Hey, listen,” he said. “Maybe we should call it a day—I don’t mind letting you off early for once, considering everything that’s going on. Do you want to get cleaned up before breakfast?”
“Are you kidding?” she replied, jumping up and striking the “ready” pose. “I’m only just getting started.”
Six
S t. Martin-in-the-Fields stood directly
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