The Stainless Steel Rat Goes to Hell

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Authors: Harry Harrison
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Hell,” she said. “Let’s go.”
    Our little burst of enthusiasm did not last very long. As we walked on, the air grew hotter, uncomfortably hotter. We passed around a spur of rock and found out why. We recoiled from the blast of heat and looked on aghast at the scene before us. Directly ahead ran a wide river of turgid lava. Darkened slag formed on top, cracking and breaking apart as it flowed by to reveal the glowing, turgidly liquid stone below. We retreated. Retracing our steps.
    â€œWe’ll try the opposite direction,” I said, then coughed. Sybil did not answer, just nodded in agreement. Her throat must have been as dry as mine; she would have been just as thirsty. Was there any water in this parched landscape? The answer did not bear thinking about.
    Something else did not bear thinking about. Angelina.
Slakey must have sent her someplace just the way he had sent us. To Heaven I hoped. I hoped even harder that it was not to this terrible planet that she had gone.
    We retraced our path past the cave mouth from which we had emerged and stumbled on through a landscape of rolling gravel dunes. It was still hot, but not the ovenlike furnace that we had just left.
    â€œA moment,” Sybil said, stopping and sitting on a wide boulder. “I’m a little tired.” I nodded and sat beside her.
    â€œNot surprising. Whatever that paralysis web was it certainly didn’t do us any good. Physically or mentally.”
    â€œI feel beat—and depressed. If I knew how to quit I would.”
    Looking at the despair in her face, hearing the echo of exhaustion in her voice—I grew angry. This fine, strong, attractive agent should not be reduced like this by one man.
    â€œI hate you Slakey!” I shouted. Jumping to my feet and shaking my fist at the sky. A rumble of a distant volcano was not much of an answer. I got even angrier. “You will not get away with this. We are going to get out of this place, yes we are. The air on this planet must have come from someplace, from living green plants. We’ll find them—and you cannot stop us!”
    â€œYou are wonderful, Jim,” Sybil said, standing and smoothing down her wrinkled and filthy dress. “Of course we will go on. And of course we will win.”
    I nodded angry agreement. Then pointed down the valley. “That way, away from the lava and the volcanoes. It will be a lot better.”
    And it was. As we walked the air became cooler. After a bit, when the valley widened out, I caught a glimpse of green far ahead. I did not want to mention it at first—but then Sybil saw it as well.
    â€œGreen,” she said firmly. “Grass or trees or something like that ahead. Or is it just wishful thinking?”
    â€œNo way! I can see it as well and it is a very cheering sight indeed. Forward!”
    We almost ran as the verdant landscape opened up ahead. It was grass, knee-high, cool and slightly damp as we pushed
our way through it. There were clumps of trees farther ahead, then more and more of them, almost a small forest.
    â€œGood old chlorophyll,” I exulted. “Bottom of the food chain and from whence all life doth spring. Capturing the sun’s energy to manufacture food …”
    â€œAnd water?”
    â€œYou better believe it. There has to be water somewhere around here—and we are going to find it—”
    â€œShhh,” she shhhsed. “Do you hear that? A sort of rustling, like dry leaves.”
    I did hear it, a light crackling sound that was coming towards us from the forest. Then something small came out from under the trees and moved hesitantly into the grass.
    â€œWell, Hello,” I said to the tiny reddish-brown form that emerged. It looked up at me with button-black eyes and squealed with fright.
    The squeal was echoed by a louder and more angry squeal from the forest. There was a thunder of running hooves and a giant avenging form burst out from under the

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