Read Online The Stainless Steel Rat Goes to Hell by Harry Harrison - Free Book Online Page A

Sybil. She was sitting up now and very much more in control.
    â€œWhat’s out there, Jim?”
    â€œCertainly not Heaven. The sky is red, not blue, no white clouds and certainly no grass. A geologically unstable area with an active volcano nearby. Plenty of smoke, but at least no lava. And there is a big and swollen sun like no sun—or star—I have ever seen before. It is light red in hue, not white or blue, which explains the russet coloring of the landscape.”
    â€œWhere are we?”
    â€œWell—” I groped for something intelligent to say. “Well
we know now that we’re not on Vulkann,” was the best I could come up with. “And …”
    She noticed my hesitation. “And?”
    â€œI just had a glimpse.”
    â€œSome glimpse! You should see your face—you’ve gone all gray.”
    I tried to laugh at this, but it came out as a pathetic gurgle. “Yes, I saw someone—or something. For just the shortest instant I could see sort of a figure, going away, fast. Biped, erect.” My voice ran down and she looked very concerned. “Sorry. I’m just being stupid. It really moved too fast for me to see any details. But I think, no I’m sure, that it had a tail. And … it was bright red.”
    There was a long silence before she spoke.
    â€œYou’re right. We’re certainly not in Heaven. How is your theology?”
    â€œNot too good—but good enough to know that I should not be thinking what I am thinking. Before you arrived I did a little theological digging in the net about the Heaven concept and all the afterworlds and afterlife, to find out more facts, to get some insight as to what it was all about. I’m afraid that my early religious education was more than neglected. Here is how it goes. There are as many concepts of Heaven as there are dif ferent religions. What I did was outline the Heaven as seen by the attendees at the Temple of Eternal Truth and search for comparisons. I found a really interesting assortment of religions with a great variety of names. I narrowed these down to the ones that featured a dichotomy of Heaven and Hell, which are places that are occupied after you die. There is an object called a soul, which you can’t see or find or anything like that. It comes from somewhere unspecified. The description was pretty vague at this point. This soul, in some undescribed manner, is supposed to be you. Or the essence of you. Don’t look at me like that I’m not making it up! Anyway, this soul wants to end up in Heaven. There is a mention also of a sort of halfway house called Purgatory. And, I’m sure that you have heard of it, a direct opposite kind of place called Hell.”

    She looked shocked. “Then you think that … perhaps we have ended up in this place called Hell?”
    â€œWell, until a better idea comes along—and I hope it wil!—that seems to be the conclusion … .”
    There was a distant rumbling roar, the ground shivered beneath my feet. A sudden weight seemed to press down and I dropped to my knees, put my hands out to break my fall. I was heavy, suddenly very heavy; Sybil was sprawling on the ground again.
    Then the strange sensation passed, as quickly as it had come, and I stood again, shakily.
    â€œWhat—was that?”
    â€œI haven’t the slightest idea. I never felt anything like it before. It was like, what? A gravity wave passing over us?”
    â€œThere is no such thing as a gravity wave.”
    â€œThere is now!”
    She tried to smile, but shivered instead.
    â€œDon’t,” I said. “We’re someplace strange, and it might very well be a place called Hell. But we appear to be alive—so let us get out of this cave and find out just where in Hell we are!”
    She pulled away and straightened up, running her fingers through her hair. And even managed a small smile. “I bet I even look like