collapsed lung and a head
injury."
"Is
the head injury serious?"
"A
concussion. Not too bad." Virginia's hands locked around her cup of tea.
"But when they gave him a CAT scan to look at the skull injuries, they
found an inoperable brain aneurysm that could rupture at any tine."
"I
... see. But an aneurysm could also hold for a long time, couldn't it?
Years?"
"William's
doctor seems to consider it unlikely in this case. His attitude is that I
should prepare myself for the worst."
Rainey
frowned. It might not be a doctor's place to offer false hope, but neither
should he make patents feel doomed. Life was uncertain, and hope could be
healing. "Have you gotten a second opinion?"
"There
hasn't been time to think of such things."
Rainey
thought of a New York surgeon friend. He owed her a favor. "Would you mind
if I called in a neurosurgeon that I know?"
Virginia
shrugged, not agreeing, but not denying.
"I'll
call him then."
"I
hear you're getting divorced from that movie star husband of yours."
Rainey
winced. "Yes. It's uncontested, so there won't be any lurid
headlines."
"Hollywood
actors shouldn't be allowed to marry. Especially not to each other. Drinking,
drugs, orgies." Virginia shook her head grimly. "Though I suppose
that's what you're used to."
Biting
back anger, Rainey said, "Kenzie is British, and they tend to be less
crazy than American stars. Neither of us do drugs or drink more than socially.
Once at a party I stumbled into what would probably be considered an orgy. I
left." On that subject, she couldn't speak for Kenzie, though if she had
to guess, she'd say that orgies weren't his style. "We're people, not
stereotypes."
"No
drugs?" Her grandmother looked disbelieving.
"My
mother died of an overdose. I've never so much as smoked marijuana."
"If
that's true, you're wise." Virginia swallowed the last of her tea. "I
have to get back to William."
"Is
there anything I can do, Gram?"
Her
grandmother shrugged again. "We've gotten along without you very well. We
don't need anything now."
Stung,
Rainey blurted out, "Why do you both dislike me so much? I tried so hard
not to be a burden. To ... to make you proud of me for my grades and school
activities. But no matter how well I did, I still knew you didn't want me. Was
it because you thought the sins of the mother should be visited on the child?"
For
the first time, her grandmother's gaze focused on her. "We didn't dislike
you, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to blame you for Clementine's behavior.
But it's true we didn't want you with us. We both felt too old to cope with a
child." She hesitated, then added painfully, "You were a reminder of
the worst failure of our lives."
Startled
by the candid answer, Rainey asked hesitantly, "Clementine?"
Virginia
nodded. "She was born late, after we'd given up hope of having a child.
She ... she was like a flame, all burning life, and just as impossible to handle.
We tried so hard to raise her as she needed, but we failed. When she left
college to join a rock band, I knew she was doomed. Maybe not right away, but
eventually."
Rainey
swallowed, her throat tight. "That self-destructive streak was part of
her, I think. I doubt anyone could have cured it."
"It's
the duty of parents to raise their children right!" Anguish showed in the
faded blue eyes. "But we didn't, and she died not even thirty years
old."
Rainey
had never seen such powerful emotion in her grandmother. On the verge of tears,
she asked, "Why didn't you show me how much you cared about her? She was
my mother. We ... we could have mourned together."
"You
looked just enough like Clementine to be painful, yet you were also a little
stranger, with traits that were totally alien. And so we failed again."
Painful
though the conversation was, for the first time ever they were actually talking
to each other. "You didn't fail entirely. I'm not self-destructive like my
mother."
"But
you're still a stranger."
Rainey
was unable to control her bitterness.
injury."
"Is
the head injury serious?"
"A
concussion. Not too bad." Virginia's hands locked around her cup of tea.
"But when they gave him a CAT scan to look at the skull injuries, they
found an inoperable brain aneurysm that could rupture at any tine."
"I
... see. But an aneurysm could also hold for a long time, couldn't it?
Years?"
"William's
doctor seems to consider it unlikely in this case. His attitude is that I
should prepare myself for the worst."
Rainey
frowned. It might not be a doctor's place to offer false hope, but neither
should he make patents feel doomed. Life was uncertain, and hope could be
healing. "Have you gotten a second opinion?"
"There
hasn't been time to think of such things."
Rainey
thought of a New York surgeon friend. He owed her a favor. "Would you mind
if I called in a neurosurgeon that I know?"
Virginia
shrugged, not agreeing, but not denying.
"I'll
call him then."
"I
hear you're getting divorced from that movie star husband of yours."
Rainey
winced. "Yes. It's uncontested, so there won't be any lurid
headlines."
"Hollywood
actors shouldn't be allowed to marry. Especially not to each other. Drinking,
drugs, orgies." Virginia shook her head grimly. "Though I suppose
that's what you're used to."
Biting
back anger, Rainey said, "Kenzie is British, and they tend to be less
crazy than American stars. Neither of us do drugs or drink more than socially.
Once at a party I stumbled into what would probably be considered an orgy. I
left." On that subject, she couldn't speak for Kenzie, though if she had
to guess, she'd say that orgies weren't his style. "We're people, not
stereotypes."
"No
drugs?" Her grandmother looked disbelieving.
"My
mother died of an overdose. I've never so much as smoked marijuana."
"If
that's true, you're wise." Virginia swallowed the last of her tea. "I
have to get back to William."
"Is
there anything I can do, Gram?"
Her
grandmother shrugged again. "We've gotten along without you very well. We
don't need anything now."
Stung,
Rainey blurted out, "Why do you both dislike me so much? I tried so hard
not to be a burden. To ... to make you proud of me for my grades and school
activities. But no matter how well I did, I still knew you didn't want me. Was
it because you thought the sins of the mother should be visited on the child?"
For
the first time, her grandmother's gaze focused on her. "We didn't dislike
you, and it certainly wouldn't be fair to blame you for Clementine's behavior.
But it's true we didn't want you with us. We both felt too old to cope with a
child." She hesitated, then added painfully, "You were a reminder of
the worst failure of our lives."
Startled
by the candid answer, Rainey asked hesitantly, "Clementine?"
Virginia
nodded. "She was born late, after we'd given up hope of having a child.
She ... she was like a flame, all burning life, and just as impossible to handle.
We tried so hard to raise her as she needed, but we failed. When she left
college to join a rock band, I knew she was doomed. Maybe not right away, but
eventually."
Rainey
swallowed, her throat tight. "That self-destructive streak was part of
her, I think. I doubt anyone could have cured it."
"It's
the duty of parents to raise their children right!" Anguish showed in the
faded blue eyes. "But we didn't, and she died not even thirty years
old."
Rainey
had never seen such powerful emotion in her grandmother. On the verge of tears,
she asked, "Why didn't you show me how much you cared about her? She was
my mother. We ... we could have mourned together."
"You
looked just enough like Clementine to be painful, yet you were also a little
stranger, with traits that were totally alien. And so we failed again."
Painful
though the conversation was, for the first time ever they were actually talking
to each other. "You didn't fail entirely. I'm not self-destructive like my
mother."
"But
you're still a stranger."
Rainey
was unable to control her bitterness.
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