Read Online The Sound and the Furry by Spencer Quinn - Free Book Online Page A

Chrissake? I’m meltin’
     out here.”
    I watched Duke closely, ready for anything. Humans were capable of many surprises.
     You never knew.
    “I guess,” Lord said. “If you want.”
    “Is that the best you can do?” Duke said. “We’re known for our hospitality down here.”
    “Put that where the sun don’t shine,” Lord said.
    I couldn’t quite keep up with that. The sun was starting to penetrate the steam now,
     but was it actually shining? Plus the sun never shone at night. That was as far as
     I could take it. Next thing I knew we were inside Lord’s crib.

    I’d seen worse. The kitchen, which was where we ended up, was kind of nice. It had
     one of those old stoves you sometimes see that stand on little feet, with space underneath,
     and in that space, would you believe it? Practically a whole strip of bacon, presently—but
     not for long, amigo—getting gnawed on by a nervous-eyed mouse. The little guy split
     in a hurry—and tried to abscond with the goods, abscond with the goods being cop talk
     for making off with the bacon. In the end, he barely absconded with himself. As for
     the bacon? Delish, and not really that old at all. Still plenty of crunch left, which
     is how we like our bacon, me and Bernie. This case, whatever it was about exactly,
     couldn’t have been going more smoothly.
    I looked around. Bernie, Duke, and Lord were sitting at the table, Lord pouring from
     a big square bottle. Bourbon: an easy scent to pick up, and one with which I was very
     familiar. Harder to pick up, but not what I’d call actually hard, was the scent of
     Vannah, a human female scent mixed with coconut, pears, and honey that’s been left
     out with the top off the jar for some time. Not a bad smell, but I preferred Suzie’s,
     which was all about soap and lemons and those little yellow flowers that grow beside
     the dry washes in the Valley. But back to Vannah. She’d left her scent in the room
     quite recently. Was it even possible she was in the house at this very moment? I wondered
     about that.
    Meanwhile, Bernie was saying something about taking it from the top.
    “Didn’t Vannah go over all this?” Lord said.
    “Can’t have too much input in this business,” Bernie said. Whatever that meant, it
     sounded brilliant to me. I went over and sat beside him.
    Duke nodded. Then Lord nodded.
    “Makes sense,” Duke said.
    “I guess,” said Lord.
    Duke stopped nodding. Lord stopped nodding.
    “Where you want us to start?” Duke said.
    “With the ankle monitor,” said Bernie.
    Under the table, one of Duke’s legs started up again, and so did one of Lord’s, namely
     the monitor leg. I felt the approach of an interesting thought about these two dudes.
     It came right up to the very edge of my mind and stayed there, just out of reach.
    “What the hell?” said Lord.
    Bernie remained silent. He was great at that!
    “Lord’s trying to say how come you wanna start with the tether,” Duke said. “Ain’t
     that right, Lord?”
    “No, it ain’t right. What I’m trying to say is it’s nobody’s goddamn business.”
    “But at the same time a matter of public record,” Bernie said. “Kind of a contradiction
     there.”
    “Like how?” said Lord.
    “Doesn’t matter,” Bernie said. “The point is your brother Ralph has disappeared and
     you seem to be under house arrest. Anyone doing my job would look for a possible connection—that’s
     basic.”
    “Ain’t no connection,” Lord said.
    “I can vouch for that,” said Duke.
    Bernie put down his glass and stood up.
    “Where you goin’?” Duke said.
    “Home,” said Bernie. “We can’t help you.”
    “Keep your shirt on,” Duke said. “Tell ’im, Lord.”
    “Tell ’m what?”
    “What you did, for Chrissake. Why you’re hooked up to that ball and chain.”
    Lord gazed down at the ankle monitor. “That’s what it is, all right. Never realized.”
     He pounded the table. “That goddamn judge. I’ll murder