Read Online The Sick Stuff by Ronald Kelly - Free Book Online Page B

wife's
perfume.
    He wandered into his son's room and turned on
the light. Toys were strewn in abandonment around the single bed;
G.I. Joes, plastic dinosaurs, and baseball cards. He wanted to run
and leave that room forever, but emotion gripped him. He fell upon
the small bunk with the Spiderman bedspread. For the time being at
least, a wave of numbing grief drowned the pain of his recently
stitched wounds as he landed face down on the child's mattress.
    He wept into his son's pillow, smelling the
lingering scent of shampoo on the cloth. "Forgive me, Angela," he
cried. "Forgive me for failing you and Buddy so miserably!"
    If Angela heard him from wherever dead wives
congregate, she listened in silence. Accusing silence, he was
certain. He had failed the sacred memory of his wife, letting
another woman into his life and, even worse, into their marriage
bed. And that, in turn, had placed Buddy in a jeopardy that Nelson
could not have conceived in his wildest nightmares.
    After Angela had died in that horrible
accident, Nelson had found living alone to be too much for him.
Sure, there was Buddy, but even he could not give Nelson the degree
of love that Angela had. Female companionship, the need to be held
in the arms of a woman, that was what Nelson yearned for. That was
the missing piece to the teacher's shattered jigsaw life.
    He had met Tanya Wright on campus. She was
the secretary for one of his fellow English professors at the
university. They had bumped into each other one day in the
cafeteria and had lunch. Nelson had been instantly taken with
Tanya's attentiveness, as well as her natural beauty. She seemed to
dispense with the awkward and annoying sympathies that the other
members of the faculty seemed to constantly barrage him with. She
seemed to genuinely understand the depth of his loss and understand
that the best way to heal the emotional wounds was to put the death
of Angela in perspective and move on with life. Her attitude had
been a breath of fresh air for Nelson. Disregarding the flack he
might receive from dating a member of the staff, he asked her out
and she readily accepted his invitation.
    For a while, their relationship had developed
normally. They spent time together when their schedules allowed.
Nelson did his best to gain her love and trust, even though the
pressures of being a widowed father sometimes put a strain on the
process. When he could make arrangements, he and Tanya would spend
a weekend together in the country or a night out on the town,
taking in some of the better jazz clubs. But he never neglected
Buddy for one moment. He always made sure of that.
    At first, Nelson was disturbed by Buddy's
indifferent attitude toward Tanya. He simply would not respond to
the attention she gave him. She sincerely seemed to adore the
little guy, but Buddy would have no part of her. He would shrink
away at her very touch, leaving her discouraged and a little angry.
"Give him time," Nelson had told her. "It's too soon after Angela's
death. He'll warm up to you before long." And, with a bit of
patience on her part, Tanya found that Buddy began to do just
that.
    It wasn't long before Nelson decided the time
was right and took his new lady to bed. Tanya was more adventurous
in the ways oflovemaking than Angela had been. With Angela, the
normal routine had been confined to hugging, kissing, and the tried
and true missionary position. But Tanya was just the opposite. She
was like some animal in heat, eager to try anything, anywhere.
Nelson, however, was not quite ready for such diversity in his sex
life. And he had Buddy to consider. Just thinking of doing such
things made him feel ashamed and disloyal to the memory of the
family that once was.
    One evening, after Buddy had been tucked in
for the night, Tanya had come over with a video tape in her hand.
"Let's watch a movie," she had suggested. Nelson had figured a
quiet night in front of the television would be a pleasant change
of pace compared to the woman's