Read Online The Sex Was Great But... by Tyne O’Connell - Free Book Online Page B

frequently enjoyed snack—even more popular than hamburgers, he claims.” I was blabbering now. Believe me, if you knew Nancy, you’d blabber too.
    â€œIs it, now?” (Sarcasm.)
    â€œSo he…erm…tells me.”
    â€œHolly…”(pause for effect). “Let me explain something to you. You have a strange man…” (pause for effect) “…in your home. A street bum…” (pause for effect) “…eating your cereal? I know you’re upset about the poll…” (pause for effect) “…and prone to act out your distress in questionable ways…” (pause for effect) “…but what will you do if he murders you?”
    â€œHe just saved my life, Nancy.” (Strike one to Holly.)
    â€œHave you considered…” (pause for effect) “…the possibility that he only saved your life…” (pause for effect) “…in order to enjoy leisurely slaying you later in the comfort of your own home?” (Long drawn-out pause for effect.) “Well?”
    â€œHave I considered that Leo is planning to enjoy slaying me at his own pace in the comfort of my own home?” I repeated, rolling the question through my mind like an unexploded landmine.
    â€œWell, have you?”
    â€œNo,” I admitted, in a small mousy little voice, suddenly realizing how deeply stupid and moronic I was not to have considered such an obvious devious plan.
    â€œBesides, he didn’t technically save your life. All he did was rescue your bag!”
    â€œAha! Effectively the same thing. Everything I had for survival in this town was in that bag.”(Strike two to Holly!)
    â€œSo give him a cash reward, but why take him home for a bowl of cereal?”
    â€œEr, well, I offered him a cash reward but he was too proud, see. He told me he didn’t do it for the money. I offered him a wheat-grass shot and some chamomile tea, obviously, but he’s trying to cut back his intake of wheat-grass, apparently. Said he prefers old lager left out in the sun.”
    â€œDid you frisk him for weapons?”
    Stupid, stupid, stupid Holly. “Er…no.”
    â€œDrugs?”
    Dumb, dumb and dumber. “Well see…not really. The thing was…”
    â€œFanatical religious literature?”
    â€œHuh?”
    â€œHe could be one of those insane cult people—the ones who cut you up for the Lord. Have you got your mace handy?”
    â€œJoseph’s here.”
    â€œAsthmatic Joseph?”(Pause for effect) “What good is Joseph going to be if the guy starts chopping you into small pieces and eating you?”
    â€œLeo isn’t like that. He’s sweet, really.”
    â€œSweet?”
    â€œYes, sweet and gentle.”
    â€œYeah, right. Tell that to forensics when they’re zipping you into your body bag. Did you smell his breath? Is he drunk?”
    â€œNo. Well, a bit, but that’s because he’s got a bit of a hangover, apparently and—”
    â€œHigh on drugs? Glue sniffers have telltale fetid breath. Go smell his breath and come back to me.”
    I considered this for about two seconds. “No!”
    â€œIs he talking about fellatio a lot?”
    â€œNancy! Now who’s being shallow? Anyway, I might get him to take a shower. God Nancy, I can’t believe you’re being so sanctimonious after the lecture you gave me this morning. He’s been a veritable Knight in Shining Armor.”
    â€œA shower!” she shrieked. “You don’t even let me use your bathroom,” she sniffed.
    â€œI do possess a guest bathroom, remember? Four, actually, and anyway, I might get him to take the worst off under the shower by the pool first.”
    â€œYou’re losing it.”
    â€œNo, I’m not.”
    â€œYes, you are. It’s the readers’ poll. It’s hit you harder than I thought. You’re talking crazy, acting crazy. Dragging guys off the