the story about
the MS666... My head felt like a hundred people were playing handball inside
and using my skull as a wall. What next? I was glad I couldn't tell my future.
The present was bad enough. The rest of the day crept by. Without a steady flow
of customers, I had too much time to think and nothing good to think about. I
did manage to sell a few good-luck charms and closed a half hour early in
anticipation of my biweekly client, Oatha. I defrosted some leftover Chicken
Jambalaya and dressed in a long gown
and headdress. I know Oatha didn't care, but it put me in the right mood. I found
it amusing because it was exactly what I'd expect a fake to do.
A few minutes to seven, Oatha arrived. As usual, her round face was
smiling, and her eyes sparkling. As long as I had known her, she always seemed
happy and enjoyed people. Although she loved to talk, she didn't gossip.
"Good evening, Renee. I like you in that blue pattern dress and head
wrap. It helps to fill you out a bit. You need more meat on you if you don't
mind me saying."
"I wouldn't mind a little extra in the right places, but I'm afraid
it would settle in all the wrong ones."
"You have a point. Just have to accept what God gave you. I've good
news. My sister is planning on getting married. She asked me if you would
conduct a wedding ceremony. Will you?" she said, taking my hand in hers
and staring at me with big, brown puppy eyes. For a moment, I was speechless.
Although I knew how to conduct the ceremony, I had never done one. Worse, I've
never been married but would have to counsel the couple prior to the ceremony.
Although priests who were celibate did it all the time, that didn't help to make
me feel any more confident. All I could do was to do my best.
"I'd be happy to. You know they will have to have several sessions
with me, prior to the ceremony?"
"Yes, thank you, Renee. I'll send Elva around to make the necessary
arrangements with you. She's been talking about joining your congregation for
months. Her fiancée, Gualter, belongs to another group, but he has heard a lot
about you and wants them to join your group."
"Tell her to come around anytime." The more I thought about it,
the more I was looking forward to the experience. I wanted to help people, and
this seemed like an ideal opportunity. As I considered the idea, she sat down
preparing for our session.
"Funny thing happened yesterday. A woman came by asking about
fortunetellers. She said she was having marital problems and heard I visited a
local one. She said most she had visited over the years were fakes, telling you
what you wanted to hear. When I mentioned you, she asked all sorts of questions
about what you had told me and how it had worked out. I told her I thought you were
real and told her about you seeing Virgil having a good month and how I would
benefit. That was all right, wasn't it?"
"Of course." What else
could I say? I wanted new customers, just not certain customers. "I
think I met her the other day. What did she look like?"
"A little shorter than you, thin, short light brown hair, and
dressed casually."
As I thought—Sheila. And I'd bet Ken was talking with my male
clients. I could only hope the information they got was inconclusive in determining
whether I was real or a fake. Unfortunately, I doubted it proved me a fake. Shit. I sat and placed my hands over
Oatha's and watched as the next few weeks scrolled past, with little of
interest happening.
"I'm happy to say your life looks good for the next several weeks.
You probably won't win the lottery, but there won't be any major
problems."
"I don't play the lottery— you know that, don't you." She
laughed and produced a big smile. "I'll send Elva around to see you. Thank
you, Renee."
* * *
True to her word, two days later Elva stopped in just after noon. She was
a petite young woman, with Oatha's round face and warm smile.
"Mambo Renee?" she said, as she approached the counter. I
nodded. "I'm Oatha's baby sister. She
the MS666... My head felt like a hundred people were playing handball inside
and using my skull as a wall. What next? I was glad I couldn't tell my future.
The present was bad enough. The rest of the day crept by. Without a steady flow
of customers, I had too much time to think and nothing good to think about. I
did manage to sell a few good-luck charms and closed a half hour early in
anticipation of my biweekly client, Oatha. I defrosted some leftover Chicken
Jambalaya and dressed in a long gown
and headdress. I know Oatha didn't care, but it put me in the right mood. I found
it amusing because it was exactly what I'd expect a fake to do.
A few minutes to seven, Oatha arrived. As usual, her round face was
smiling, and her eyes sparkling. As long as I had known her, she always seemed
happy and enjoyed people. Although she loved to talk, she didn't gossip.
"Good evening, Renee. I like you in that blue pattern dress and head
wrap. It helps to fill you out a bit. You need more meat on you if you don't
mind me saying."
"I wouldn't mind a little extra in the right places, but I'm afraid
it would settle in all the wrong ones."
"You have a point. Just have to accept what God gave you. I've good
news. My sister is planning on getting married. She asked me if you would
conduct a wedding ceremony. Will you?" she said, taking my hand in hers
and staring at me with big, brown puppy eyes. For a moment, I was speechless.
Although I knew how to conduct the ceremony, I had never done one. Worse, I've
never been married but would have to counsel the couple prior to the ceremony.
Although priests who were celibate did it all the time, that didn't help to make
me feel any more confident. All I could do was to do my best.
"I'd be happy to. You know they will have to have several sessions
with me, prior to the ceremony?"
"Yes, thank you, Renee. I'll send Elva around to make the necessary
arrangements with you. She's been talking about joining your congregation for
months. Her fiancée, Gualter, belongs to another group, but he has heard a lot
about you and wants them to join your group."
"Tell her to come around anytime." The more I thought about it,
the more I was looking forward to the experience. I wanted to help people, and
this seemed like an ideal opportunity. As I considered the idea, she sat down
preparing for our session.
"Funny thing happened yesterday. A woman came by asking about
fortunetellers. She said she was having marital problems and heard I visited a
local one. She said most she had visited over the years were fakes, telling you
what you wanted to hear. When I mentioned you, she asked all sorts of questions
about what you had told me and how it had worked out. I told her I thought you were
real and told her about you seeing Virgil having a good month and how I would
benefit. That was all right, wasn't it?"
"Of course." What else
could I say? I wanted new customers, just not certain customers. "I
think I met her the other day. What did she look like?"
"A little shorter than you, thin, short light brown hair, and
dressed casually."
As I thought—Sheila. And I'd bet Ken was talking with my male
clients. I could only hope the information they got was inconclusive in determining
whether I was real or a fake. Unfortunately, I doubted it proved me a fake. Shit. I sat and placed my hands over
Oatha's and watched as the next few weeks scrolled past, with little of
interest happening.
"I'm happy to say your life looks good for the next several weeks.
You probably won't win the lottery, but there won't be any major
problems."
"I don't play the lottery— you know that, don't you." She
laughed and produced a big smile. "I'll send Elva around to see you. Thank
you, Renee."
* * *
True to her word, two days later Elva stopped in just after noon. She was
a petite young woman, with Oatha's round face and warm smile.
"Mambo Renee?" she said, as she approached the counter. I
nodded. "I'm Oatha's baby sister. She
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