Read Online The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd - Free Book Online

and was shoving it up into my throat.
    ‘And if he thinks I’m going to believe that story, he has a hole in his so-called brain. He only made it up to punish me. I know he did.’
    I could have added that mothers have instincts and hormones that prevent them leaving their babies, that even pigs and opossums didn’t leave their offspring, but Rosaleen, having finally pondered the matter, said, ‘You’re probably right. Knowing your daddy, he could do a thing like that.’
    ‘And my mother could never do what he said she did,’ I added.
    ‘I didn’t know your mama,’ Rosaleen said.
    ‘But I used to see her from a distance sometimes when I came out of the orchard from picking. She’d be hanging clothes on the line or watering her plants, and you’d be right there beside her, playing. I only saw her one time when you weren’t under her feet.’
    I had no idea Rosaleen had ever seen my mother. I felt suddenly light-headed, not knowing if it was from hunger or tiredness or this surprising piece of news.
    ‘What was she doing that time you saw her alone?’ I asked.
    ‘She was out behind the tractor shed, sitting on the ground, staring off at nothing. When we walked by, she didn’t even notice us. I remember thinking she looked a little sad.’
    ‘Well, who wouldn’t be sad living with T. Ray?’ I said. I saw the lightbulb snap on in Rosaleen’s face then, the flash of recognition.
    ‘Oh,’ she said.
    ‘I get it. You ran off ‘cause of what your daddy said about your mother. It didn’t have nothing to do with me in jail. And here you got me worrying myself sick about you running away and getting in trouble over me, and you would’ve run off anyway. Well, ain’t it nice of you to fill me in.’
    She poked out her lip and looked up toward the road, making me wonder if she was about to walk back the way we came.
    ‘So what are you planning to do?’ she said.
    ‘Go from town to town asking people about your mother? Is that your bright idea?’
    ‘If I needed somebody to criticize me around the clock, I could’ve brought T. Ray along!’ I shouted.
    ‘And for your information, I don’t exactly have a plan.’
    ‘Well, you sure had one back at the hospital, coming in there saying we’re gonna do this and we’re gonna do that, and I’m supposed to follow you like a pet dog. You act like you’re my keeper. Like I’m some dumb nigger you gonna save.’
    Her eyes were hard and narrow. I rose to my feet.
    ‘That’s not fair!’ Anger sucked the air from my lungs.
    ‘You meant well enough, and I’m glad to be away from there, but did you think once to ask me?’ she said.
    ‘Well, you are dumb!’ I yelled.
    ‘You have to be dumb to pour your snuff juice on those men’s shoes like that. And then dumber not to say you’re sorry, if saying it will save your life. They were gonna come back and kill you, or worse. I got you out of there, and this is how you thank me. Well, fine.’
    I stripped off my Keds, grabbed my bag, and waded into the creek. The coldness cut sharp circles around my calves. I didn’t want to be on the same planet with her, much less the same side of the creek.
    ‘You find your own way from now on!’ I yelled over my shoulder. On the opposite side I plopped onto the mossy dirt. We stared across the water at each other. In the dark she looked like a boulder shaped by five hundred years of storms. I lay back and closed my eyes. In my dream I was back on the peach farm, sitting out behind the tractor shed, and even though it was broad daylight, I could see a huge, round moon in the sky. It looked so perfect up there. I gazed at it awhile, then leaned against the shed and closed my eyes. Next I heard a sound like ice breaking, and, looking up, I saw the moon crack apart and start to fall. I had to run for my life. I woke with my chest hurting. I searched for the moon and found it all in one piece, still spilling light over the creek. I looked across the water for Rosaleen. She was