Read Online The Redemption by S. L. Scott - Free Book Online Page B

to add to the casualness I’m trying to portray.
    “No biggie? You used to love to play,” he says. “I remember watching you in the studio on the last album. You come alive when you play.”
    “I’m busy. I’m tired. I don’t have the same passion for it that I used to.”
    This time he stares at me like he’s trying to work through some complicated equation… or maybe he already has me all figured out. Maybe he can see through the façade I try so hard to put on every day. “I don’t have to prove anything, Dex.” I cross my arms, adamant.
    “Nope, you don’t have anything to prove. Not to me or anyone else, except maybe yourself.”
    “I don’t understand what you’re doing?”
    “Don’t you?”
    “No, I don’t.”
    A loud thud behind me causes me to look over my shoulder. Johnny sits in a chair near the other, guitar in hand. “You lead. I’ll follow,” he says.
    I can’t hide my panic. “No. I don’t have time for music anymore.”
    “Wow,” Johnny says, looking disappointed. “That’s pretty damn sad, Rochelle.”
    “Sad as it may be, I have different priorities these days.”
    Johnny leans forward resting his elbows on his knees, chin in hand, rubbing it in thought. “Music isn’t something that comes in and out of our lives when it’s convenient. Music defines us, filling the holes that others have left behind.”
    My hands start shaking. “I can’t. I just can’t.” Walking around Dex, I head for the side of the stage and rush down the steps to the exit doors. The sun blinds me when the door flies open. I move to the side, away from the door, and into the shadows. It’s been well over a year since I last played and I remember every second of it. The studio recordings took every ounce of what was left of me. The guys wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I filled in for Cory on the last record. But once we were done, I was done as well. The nightmares started and I haven’t gone near any of the guitars in our house since. That part of my life has been packed away just like the instruments.
    “It’s times like these that I still wish I smoked.”
    I spy Johnny out of the corner of my eye and my shoulders drop in ease from seeing my friend. “You don’t?” I ask.
    He leans against the cinderblock wall and shakes his head. “Holliday would kick my ass. She has this seventh sense that alerts her when I’m screwing up.”
    “She wants you to live a long life.”
    “Yeah, I guess she does,” he says with a smile that’s more reflective of his love for his wife than for me.
    “Holli loves you.”
    “We all have the capacity to love more than we think we’re capable of.”
    “Are you talking about Holli or me?”
    “Might be about you.”
    “Since when did my love life become the band’s pet project?” I lightly kick his foot with mine.
    “When did you stop playing?”
    “The day I left the studio.”
    “Why?”
    Taking a moment, I look down at my shoes, noticing all the scuff marks on them. “Music was something I did with Cory, for him, because of him.”
    “You played before you met him.”
    “I messed around.”
    “No, you’re just forgetting the details.” He pushes off the wall and reaches for the doorknob. “That passion still lives inside you.” He pats his chest over his heart.
    “Then how do I find it again?”
    “It will find you when you’re ready.” The door closes and I’m left there in awe. His lyrics speak so justly of the man behind them and Johnny Outlaw sure knows how to deliver a line.
    I go back inside and find Dex in the dressing room waiting on sound check to begin. “Hey, gotta sec?” I sit down next to him.
    “For you.” He leans back on the couch, his sticks in hand while tapping rhythmically on his leg.
    “I want to thank you for what you did. It was very thoughtful.”
    “We’ve had some good sessions over the years. We should do that again… maybe when I come over in a few weeks.”
    Bouncing my palm lightly on his