Read Online The Redemption of Callie & Kayden by Jessica Sorensen - Free Book Online
Authors: Jessica Sorensen
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most fucked-up, confused person who’s ever lived.
Doug drags the chair back to the corner and then tucks his notebook underneath his arm as he heads for the door. “I want you to see you a few times over Christmas break, and then we’ll find you a therapist to talk to in Laramie when you go back to college.”
A measured breath eases from my lips as I clench my hand around his card and bend it in half. I get a paper cut and it momentarily stills the stirring inside me. “What if I don’t want to?”
He offers me a positive smile. “You do, otherwise you would have just said no.”
I don’t say anything and it’s a silent agreement. I’ll see a shrink in Laramie. That is if I make it back to school.
Shit
. I’m suddenly reminded of the bigger picture. I have more problems than just dealing with my father. How the hell am I going to get out of that mess? Let my father buy Caleb off? Then what? I owe my father for life? And carry his secrets—our family’s secrets forever.
Doug exits the room and I let my head fall into my hands. I drag my fingers through my hair roughly and pull hard on the roots. For once, I wish that things were easy. That I could relax. Breathe.
Really, what I wish for is Callie.
Callie
I wake up early the next morning, before the sun has completely risen over the curves of the mountains. I slept terribly last night, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. I kept having this dream where I’d run into Kayden’s house and find blood on the floor and knives, but he wasn’t there. I searched the whole house but all I kept finding were piles and piles of leaves. I woke up dripping in sweat and ended up throwing up in the bathroom.
I lie awake in bed, and Seth is snoring next to me, content in his sleep. I listen to him breathe until I can’t sit still any longer and then get up and grab my notebook from my bag. I take a seat in the makeshift windowsill that looks out at the snowy driveway. My mom’s car is buried in a foot of snow and my dad’s truck has chains on the tires.
I pull my knees up and station the notebook on them before pressing the tip of the pen to the paper.
I dream that I get to have cake before Caleb takes me into my room. When I blow out the candles and make a wish, I wish to have the happiest and best birthday in the world and the wish comes true. Caleb never shows up that day to hang out with my brother, and I get to play hide-and-go seek outside with the other kids. I rip open paper and smile at my presents.
Lately in the dream, instead of making a wish for myself, I make a wish for Kayden. I wish that he never met me and that he never learned my secret. I wish that he never had any reason to beat up Caleb and that he never ended up on the floor, bleeding to death.
I wish for happiness in a world full of sorrow.
There’s always so much pain and I wish for all of it to be gone.
Of course, wishes are just wishes, just hope for a speck of light in a dark field.
When I analyze my wish for Kayden, I get terrified at what it means. If I’m willing to take brokenness and shattering of my childhood in exchange for the removal of his, then how deep are my feelings for him? And am I ready to handle them?
I pause to think about what I wrote and I spot my mother walking out the side door of the house as she tromps through the snow toward the garage. I let go of the pen and it falls to the floor. I glance over at Seth sleeping in the bed and then I panic, hop up, grab my jacket and phone, and run out the door. She’s reaching the top of the stairs when I shut the door.
“Oh good, you’re awake.” She hugs her arms around herself and bounces up and down as she shivers.
I slip my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and flip my hair over the collar. “Yeah, I was just getting ready to head inside.”
My mom glances out at the mountains and the sky is tinted pink from the sunrise and reflects in her eyes. “You’re up early.” Her brown hair blows in
Doug drags the chair back to the corner and then tucks his notebook underneath his arm as he heads for the door. “I want you to see you a few times over Christmas break, and then we’ll find you a therapist to talk to in Laramie when you go back to college.”
A measured breath eases from my lips as I clench my hand around his card and bend it in half. I get a paper cut and it momentarily stills the stirring inside me. “What if I don’t want to?”
He offers me a positive smile. “You do, otherwise you would have just said no.”
I don’t say anything and it’s a silent agreement. I’ll see a shrink in Laramie. That is if I make it back to school.
Shit
. I’m suddenly reminded of the bigger picture. I have more problems than just dealing with my father. How the hell am I going to get out of that mess? Let my father buy Caleb off? Then what? I owe my father for life? And carry his secrets—our family’s secrets forever.
Doug exits the room and I let my head fall into my hands. I drag my fingers through my hair roughly and pull hard on the roots. For once, I wish that things were easy. That I could relax. Breathe.
Really, what I wish for is Callie.
Callie
I wake up early the next morning, before the sun has completely risen over the curves of the mountains. I slept terribly last night, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable. I kept having this dream where I’d run into Kayden’s house and find blood on the floor and knives, but he wasn’t there. I searched the whole house but all I kept finding were piles and piles of leaves. I woke up dripping in sweat and ended up throwing up in the bathroom.
I lie awake in bed, and Seth is snoring next to me, content in his sleep. I listen to him breathe until I can’t sit still any longer and then get up and grab my notebook from my bag. I take a seat in the makeshift windowsill that looks out at the snowy driveway. My mom’s car is buried in a foot of snow and my dad’s truck has chains on the tires.
I pull my knees up and station the notebook on them before pressing the tip of the pen to the paper.
I dream that I get to have cake before Caleb takes me into my room. When I blow out the candles and make a wish, I wish to have the happiest and best birthday in the world and the wish comes true. Caleb never shows up that day to hang out with my brother, and I get to play hide-and-go seek outside with the other kids. I rip open paper and smile at my presents.
Lately in the dream, instead of making a wish for myself, I make a wish for Kayden. I wish that he never met me and that he never learned my secret. I wish that he never had any reason to beat up Caleb and that he never ended up on the floor, bleeding to death.
I wish for happiness in a world full of sorrow.
There’s always so much pain and I wish for all of it to be gone.
Of course, wishes are just wishes, just hope for a speck of light in a dark field.
When I analyze my wish for Kayden, I get terrified at what it means. If I’m willing to take brokenness and shattering of my childhood in exchange for the removal of his, then how deep are my feelings for him? And am I ready to handle them?
I pause to think about what I wrote and I spot my mother walking out the side door of the house as she tromps through the snow toward the garage. I let go of the pen and it falls to the floor. I glance over at Seth sleeping in the bed and then I panic, hop up, grab my jacket and phone, and run out the door. She’s reaching the top of the stairs when I shut the door.
“Oh good, you’re awake.” She hugs her arms around herself and bounces up and down as she shivers.
I slip my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and flip my hair over the collar. “Yeah, I was just getting ready to head inside.”
My mom glances out at the mountains and the sky is tinted pink from the sunrise and reflects in her eyes. “You’re up early.” Her brown hair blows in
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