Read Online The REASON Series - the Complete Collection by Zoey Derrick - Free Book Online
Authors: Zoey Derrick
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with you?" I nod and lay my head back against the pillow. I'm still tired but feeling a little bit stronger. I’m guessing it’s the fluids being pumped into me.
Dr. Alston has frozen the monitor and pulled the wand away. On the screen is a still image of my baby’s profile. It has to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She pushes a few buttons again and I can hear a machine start up below me. Then she leans down and hands me a stack of several pictures, all black and white. Fuzzy, but still beautiful.
I feel the bed start to rise and I look at Mikah. His eyes are slightly red. Tears? That would explain why he was so quiet...but why? Why would he be crying over my baby? Then again, I can't imagine how Dr. Alston does this without crying. It really is a beauty of life.
"Okay," Dr. Alston interrupts my thoughts. "I'm going to go and see if your blood work is back, check on a couple of things and then we can decide on a plan of action." She releases the brake on the ultrasound cart with her foot and begins to pull it out the door.
I turn toward Mikah, and he beats me to my question. "How are you doing?" he asks. His raspy voice sends goose bumps across my skin.
"I'm scared."
"Of?" he asks.
"Everything. I don't know. But seeing that...just..." I pause, blinking back the tears again. "It just brings it all into reality."
He doesn't say anything for a long time. I rest my head back against the bed and close my eyes, but all I can see is that little baby. My baby. Until a few minutes ago, the life growing inside me didn’t have much impact on my everyday life, but now, reality is setting in and I can’t even begin to imagine how I’m going to do this. I’m an only child. I had friends growing up, but never really a baby around to take care of. I started to babysit when I was twelve or so, but those were usually kids just a couple years younger than I was.
Wanting to see the baby again, I open my eyes and look down at the pictures in my hand. In the upper left-hand corner it has my name, and in the upper right-hand corner it says Baby Callahan .
A sense of relief washes over me, seeing that and not Riley's last name. Then I feel the disappointment as I realize that, just like me, there will be no father’s name on my baby's birth certificate.
"Vivienne?"
"Hmm?" I say, looking up from the picture and into Mikah's eyes. They are soft, warm, and a beautiful green.
"I'm wondering now if you will let me help you?"
"You already are. You’re paying for this hospital visit and any other visits I need to make here."
"You know?"
I nod. "And...I appreciate it. Thank you, Mikah."
His lips curl at the corners slightly, like he’s fighting a smile. "That's not what I'm referring to," he says.
"No, Mikah. While I appreciate your willingness to pay for my medical expenses, I have to do the rest on my own." I’m only accepting his help with the hospital bills because I can now see it’s a necessity, but I draw the line at letting him help me with other things. What would he expect in return? Nothing I’d want to give, surely.
"How, Vivienne? How on earth do you plan to do this on your own? You can't even afford to feed yourself, let alone that beautiful baby."
My heart flutters at his words, which make me feel weak and unable to take care of myself. So many things start flying through my head about my past. Mom’s boyfriends calling her useless, then Riley making me feel as though I couldn’t make it without him. I’m trying so hard to leave those ideas behind.
"I will get a second job. I'll go back to the shelter. I don't know, Mikah, but this is not your responsibility. It is mine."
"Damn it, Vivienne, please don't be so stubborn. I just want to help you."
"Mikah, we've had this conversation already. I will find a way on my own. I'm capable of it, I've done it for years."
"Don't give me that bullshit, Vivienne, you are skin and bones."
All the years of not fighting back
Dr. Alston has frozen the monitor and pulled the wand away. On the screen is a still image of my baby’s profile. It has to be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. She pushes a few buttons again and I can hear a machine start up below me. Then she leans down and hands me a stack of several pictures, all black and white. Fuzzy, but still beautiful.
I feel the bed start to rise and I look at Mikah. His eyes are slightly red. Tears? That would explain why he was so quiet...but why? Why would he be crying over my baby? Then again, I can't imagine how Dr. Alston does this without crying. It really is a beauty of life.
"Okay," Dr. Alston interrupts my thoughts. "I'm going to go and see if your blood work is back, check on a couple of things and then we can decide on a plan of action." She releases the brake on the ultrasound cart with her foot and begins to pull it out the door.
I turn toward Mikah, and he beats me to my question. "How are you doing?" he asks. His raspy voice sends goose bumps across my skin.
"I'm scared."
"Of?" he asks.
"Everything. I don't know. But seeing that...just..." I pause, blinking back the tears again. "It just brings it all into reality."
He doesn't say anything for a long time. I rest my head back against the bed and close my eyes, but all I can see is that little baby. My baby. Until a few minutes ago, the life growing inside me didn’t have much impact on my everyday life, but now, reality is setting in and I can’t even begin to imagine how I’m going to do this. I’m an only child. I had friends growing up, but never really a baby around to take care of. I started to babysit when I was twelve or so, but those were usually kids just a couple years younger than I was.
Wanting to see the baby again, I open my eyes and look down at the pictures in my hand. In the upper left-hand corner it has my name, and in the upper right-hand corner it says Baby Callahan .
A sense of relief washes over me, seeing that and not Riley's last name. Then I feel the disappointment as I realize that, just like me, there will be no father’s name on my baby's birth certificate.
"Vivienne?"
"Hmm?" I say, looking up from the picture and into Mikah's eyes. They are soft, warm, and a beautiful green.
"I'm wondering now if you will let me help you?"
"You already are. You’re paying for this hospital visit and any other visits I need to make here."
"You know?"
I nod. "And...I appreciate it. Thank you, Mikah."
His lips curl at the corners slightly, like he’s fighting a smile. "That's not what I'm referring to," he says.
"No, Mikah. While I appreciate your willingness to pay for my medical expenses, I have to do the rest on my own." I’m only accepting his help with the hospital bills because I can now see it’s a necessity, but I draw the line at letting him help me with other things. What would he expect in return? Nothing I’d want to give, surely.
"How, Vivienne? How on earth do you plan to do this on your own? You can't even afford to feed yourself, let alone that beautiful baby."
My heart flutters at his words, which make me feel weak and unable to take care of myself. So many things start flying through my head about my past. Mom’s boyfriends calling her useless, then Riley making me feel as though I couldn’t make it without him. I’m trying so hard to leave those ideas behind.
"I will get a second job. I'll go back to the shelter. I don't know, Mikah, but this is not your responsibility. It is mine."
"Damn it, Vivienne, please don't be so stubborn. I just want to help you."
"Mikah, we've had this conversation already. I will find a way on my own. I'm capable of it, I've done it for years."
"Don't give me that bullshit, Vivienne, you are skin and bones."
All the years of not fighting back
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