The Rampage of Haruhi Suzumiya

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Authors: Nagaru Tanigawa
Tags: Fiction, Young Adult
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praised me.
    “Then shall I offer you words of admiration?”
    At least Koizumi had the form of a master as he placed his stone on the board and removed one of my white stones. He could play with the best of them, but he didn’t notice that it would only be a matter of time before his move came back to haunt him.
    “I’ll pass.”
    That was my response as I dipped my fingers into my bowl of stones and shuffled them around, gauging what seemed to be a sincere expression of admiration on Koizumi’s face. It failed to bring me any joy, so I continued in a lethargic voice.
    “It wouldn’t feel good coming from you. I’ll just end up worried that there’s a catch somewhere. Just to be clear, I’m not a pawn in your game. If you expect me to act the way you people want, then you’ve got another think coming.”
    “I can’t help but wonder which one of our factions your statement is referring to, but you have it all wrong. You and Suzumiya have been completely unpredictable every step of the way. My presence here would be proof of that.”
    If Koizumi had never transferred to this school, Haruhi would never have recruited him to be a member of the SOS Brigade. She was never interested in Itsuki Koizumi’s gender, personality, character, or appearance. All she cared about was the fact that he was a transfer student. He was pretty much screwed after transferring to this school at an unusual time of year. Or maybe he transferred here on purpose to get closer to Haruhi. Yet considering how he happens to be one of those espers Haruhi is looking for, his situation would be akin to that of a person living next to radioactive material and having to constantly worry about a Chernobyl that can’t be predicted. It’s possible that he actually wanted to stay as far away from her as he could.
    “In the past, perhaps.”
    Koizumi stared at the Go stone in his hand.
    “The original plan was to observe her from a distance. Thus, I was terrified when Suzumiya first came to see me and brought me to this clubroom after school. And then she announced that our goal was to find aliens, time travelers, and espers and have fun with them. I could only laugh.”
    Koizumi sounded a bit nostalgic as he reminisced.
    “But it’s different now. I may have started off as an enigmatic transfer student, but that description no longer applies to me. I’m sure that Suzumiya agrees.”
    So what? You’re still an enigma as far as I’m concerned.
    Koizumi looked around the clubroom, stopping at Nagato, reading in the corner of the room like a cat that prefers narrow places, before moving on to Asahina, still staring intently at the kettle, and finally returning to me.
    Haruhi wasn’t around. She was on classroom cleaning duty. Otherwise, Koizumi and I wouldn’t be relaxing here and having a leisurely conversation.
    So we were sitting around the clubroom without the brigade chief present, and Koizumi was smiling the way an experienced veterinarian would smile at an injured small bird.
    “Nagato, Asahina, me, and you, of course. We are all sanctioned members of the SOS Brigade. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m sure that’s how Suzumiya feels about it.”
    Is there a point in judging if someone is more or less than a member of the SOS Brigade?
    “Absolutely. Extraordinary entities such as aliens and sliders would be worth more. Ordinary humans who aren’t brigade members would be worth less.”
    So Taniguchi, Kunikida, Tsuruya, and my sister would all be worth less than brigade members? Not that I’m trying to defend them, but it would pain me to think that they’re worth less than I am.
    “The logic is simple. If Suzumiya considered them important, they would be here with us right now as fellow members. Their absence shows that Suzumiya doesn’t consider them important. She values them as much as a random ordinary person walking by. As they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty.”
    “What about sliders? None have showed up yet?”
    “In

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