Read Online The Prom Goer's Interstellar Excursion by Chris McCoy - Free Book Online Page A

in code here,” he said. “Dondoozle is a bit like Lollapalooza or Coachella that you have here on Earth. I don’t know why these festivals always seem to end in vowels. There’s one in the Nardo Cluster that’s just called Auooooaouuuo. It’s almost impossible to order tickets for.”
    Skark turned back to the band.
    â€œOne performance and we’ll once more be on top,” he said. “Plus, those rankings aren’t scientifically accurate—they’re used more to provoke discussions among critics, who aren’t our core audience now.”
    â€œWho is our core audience now?” said Cad.
    â€œFans who remember when we were good ,” said Driver.
    â€œWe are a brilliant three-piece,” said Skark. “We are fiery coral in an ocean of mediocrity. We are an amplified earthquake in the fault line of recycled melody. We are—”
    WHOOP
    A police siren exploded behind the bus.
    â€œCops!” yelled Driver, running toward the front seat.
    â€œHide everything,” said Cad.
    â€œRelax, please ,” said Skark. “The more you panic, the more suspicious you look. This is a moment that calls for calmness and clarity of thought, as all moments of great seriousness do.”
    Skark opened the ottoman and hid several bottles of wine inside. From the way the band members were scooping up bottles and powders and pills and hiding them in the nooks and crannies of the bus, it was obvious they were carrying a significant amount of illegal contraband on board.
    WHOOP WHOOP
    The voice of Officer Welker erupted through a megaphone.
    â€œI told you to go home, kid. I told you I didn’t want to see you again tonight. If you’re not in your truck, I know you’re on that bus. It’s the only other vehicle in the lot.”
    Through the window, I saw Officer Welker get out of his cruiser and walk over to my truck with a pad in his hand, writing me a ticket.
    â€œIf he’s telling us to go, I suggest we listen,” said Cad. “It’s a bad idea to mess with bored cops who live in the wastelands.”
    â€œI think he’s talking to me…,” I said, but nobody was listening.
    â€œI’m getting us out of here right now,” said Driver, whacking a rainbow of buttons on the dashboard. Without his disguise, it was clear he was definitely of the same tweaked Viking pedigree as the individuals who had abducted Sophie.
    Driver pushed a long, flat lever with his foot, and the bus began trembling violently, rivers of electricity running over its outer shell.
    â€œGood Lord, man, shut that window ,” said Cad, running over and closing the window where I’d been looking at the cop. “If you leave one open, we’ll be sucked outside. In space you have to pay attention to these sorts of details.”
    â€œSpace?”
    â€œYou’re coming with us, right? I assumed you were because you’re wearing a trucker hat and I noticed the crutches in your car. You must have wanted somebody to abduct you.”
    I felt the bus lift off the ground. The back end pitched upward first, nearly sending me somersaulting into Driver’s flabby chest, before its front finally lurched upward as the vehicle balanced itself out.
    â€œI’d normally suggest you buckle up!” yelled Cad over thesound of the engine. “But Driver ate the seat belts last week when we got stuck in an asteroid field and couldn’t get to a decent restaurant before closing.”
    â€œI mistook them for fruit leather at the time,” said Driver. “I was buzzed.”
    â€œYou were drunk out of your mind ,” said Cad.
    â€œI don’t think anybody here can pass judgment on me for that,” said Driver.
    â€œWhen I drink, at least I don’t destroy the bus ,” said Cad.
    â€œJust marriages,” said Driver.
    â€œ Please shut up,” said Skark. “Everybody in this band drinks, everybody has