I’m talking about.”
Alex squirmed in her seat. “Just because I haven’t dated anyone doesn’t mean I’m not over Brandon.” She shrugged and tried to hold her mother’s gaze. “I’ve been busy, Mom. Sam’s only young. It’s not like I can just leave him to go out drinking or dancing or whatever.”
“Why not?” Martha challenged gently.
Heat rose up Alex’s neck. “Well, because… I don’t know. He’s only a baby. He’s my responsibility. I don’t expect you to babysit him so that I can have a social life. I knew what being a single Mom would entail and I embraced it with open arms. I love Sam with everything that I am. I’m certainly not lamenting my lack of social life or a—a boyfriend .”
“I know you’re not, sweetheart,” Martha agreed softly. “But I wish you’d stop using Sam as an excuse. He’s no longer a baby. He’s a little boy who’s growing bigger by the day and one day, he’ll go off and find his own life. What’s going to happen to you, then?”
Alex brushed off her mother’s concern. “That’s so far away, Mom, I can’t imagine even giving it a moment’s thought.”
“It’s not as far away as you think, Alex. Look how fast the last four years have gone.”
Alex worried at a thread that had come loose from the tablecloth. Her mother picked up her coffee mug and took another sip. They sat together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
“Have you told Brandon about Sam?”
Icy tension gripped Alex’s belly and her fingers stilled. She refused to look at her mother. “No.”
“You are going to tell him though, aren’t you? Now he’s back in your life—”
“He’s not back in my life.” Her gaze clashed with her mother’s. “We’re work colleagues. That’sall. You’re not listening to me.”
“I’m not the only one not listening, Alex. I told you more than four years ago you were making a mistake keeping Sam a secret from his father. My feelings haven’t changed. Brandon has a right to know.”
Anger blazed through her. “Brandon has no rights. He didn’t then, and he doesn’t now. He chose to walk out on me and our marriage. He gave up on us. He promised to love me until ‘death do us part.’ Four years in and he does a runner.”
“That’s not fair, Alex. He didn’t know you were pregnant.”
Alex heard the steel in her mother’s tone, but chose to ignore it.
“Would you have stayed if you’d been in my position? If Dad had come home from an overseas jaunt and confessed he wanted to end your marriage? Would you have told him you were pregnant? Would you have chosen to live with the feeling every single day thereafter of not knowing whether he’d even be there if it wasn’t for the baby?”
Alex choked on the last word and struggled to catch her breath. “I couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t risk telling Brandon about the baby. I didn’t want him to stay with me out of a sense of duty. I didn’t want to be someone’s duty. I wanted to be cherished and loved and adored. I wanted us to be the way we were before babies and broken vows had become a part of our everyday existence.”
Her voice broke. Alex turned away and tried to stem the traitorous tears that threatened to spill over. “But it was never going to happen. I couldn’t turn back time. Neither of us could, even if we wanted to.”
“Good morning, Sam. How did you sleep?”
Alex stiffened at her mother’s words and hurriedly swiped at her tears. Taking a few seconds to regain control, she plastered a smile on her face and turned to greet her son.
“Hey, baby. Did you have a good sleep? Come and give Mommy a kiss.”
He hurtled toward her, his chubby little arms extended. She kneeled and pulled him in close, breathing in his sleepy, little-boy smell. Her heart filled with overwhelming love. He was her life. She’d do anything for him. No one would ever come between them.
She thought of Brandon and desperation nipped at the edges of her
Alex squirmed in her seat. “Just because I haven’t dated anyone doesn’t mean I’m not over Brandon.” She shrugged and tried to hold her mother’s gaze. “I’ve been busy, Mom. Sam’s only young. It’s not like I can just leave him to go out drinking or dancing or whatever.”
“Why not?” Martha challenged gently.
Heat rose up Alex’s neck. “Well, because… I don’t know. He’s only a baby. He’s my responsibility. I don’t expect you to babysit him so that I can have a social life. I knew what being a single Mom would entail and I embraced it with open arms. I love Sam with everything that I am. I’m certainly not lamenting my lack of social life or a—a boyfriend .”
“I know you’re not, sweetheart,” Martha agreed softly. “But I wish you’d stop using Sam as an excuse. He’s no longer a baby. He’s a little boy who’s growing bigger by the day and one day, he’ll go off and find his own life. What’s going to happen to you, then?”
Alex brushed off her mother’s concern. “That’s so far away, Mom, I can’t imagine even giving it a moment’s thought.”
“It’s not as far away as you think, Alex. Look how fast the last four years have gone.”
Alex worried at a thread that had come loose from the tablecloth. Her mother picked up her coffee mug and took another sip. They sat together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
“Have you told Brandon about Sam?”
Icy tension gripped Alex’s belly and her fingers stilled. She refused to look at her mother. “No.”
“You are going to tell him though, aren’t you? Now he’s back in your life—”
“He’s not back in my life.” Her gaze clashed with her mother’s. “We’re work colleagues. That’sall. You’re not listening to me.”
“I’m not the only one not listening, Alex. I told you more than four years ago you were making a mistake keeping Sam a secret from his father. My feelings haven’t changed. Brandon has a right to know.”
Anger blazed through her. “Brandon has no rights. He didn’t then, and he doesn’t now. He chose to walk out on me and our marriage. He gave up on us. He promised to love me until ‘death do us part.’ Four years in and he does a runner.”
“That’s not fair, Alex. He didn’t know you were pregnant.”
Alex heard the steel in her mother’s tone, but chose to ignore it.
“Would you have stayed if you’d been in my position? If Dad had come home from an overseas jaunt and confessed he wanted to end your marriage? Would you have told him you were pregnant? Would you have chosen to live with the feeling every single day thereafter of not knowing whether he’d even be there if it wasn’t for the baby?”
Alex choked on the last word and struggled to catch her breath. “I couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t risk telling Brandon about the baby. I didn’t want him to stay with me out of a sense of duty. I didn’t want to be someone’s duty. I wanted to be cherished and loved and adored. I wanted us to be the way we were before babies and broken vows had become a part of our everyday existence.”
Her voice broke. Alex turned away and tried to stem the traitorous tears that threatened to spill over. “But it was never going to happen. I couldn’t turn back time. Neither of us could, even if we wanted to.”
“Good morning, Sam. How did you sleep?”
Alex stiffened at her mother’s words and hurriedly swiped at her tears. Taking a few seconds to regain control, she plastered a smile on her face and turned to greet her son.
“Hey, baby. Did you have a good sleep? Come and give Mommy a kiss.”
He hurtled toward her, his chubby little arms extended. She kneeled and pulled him in close, breathing in his sleepy, little-boy smell. Her heart filled with overwhelming love. He was her life. She’d do anything for him. No one would ever come between them.
She thought of Brandon and desperation nipped at the edges of her
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