child. His parents lived in New York but he’d moved to LA to study and then eventually set up his own practice. A lot of his clients were women desperate to cling on to their husbands as they got older but there were some who were young girls who thought they had to change everything about themselves to get a shot at being famous. It all sounded like a sad story that many were living.
“So what made you study psychology?”
“Interesting question. I originally wanted to study International Business Management but when that was no longer an option, I had to pick a new career path. I have three older sisters and we are all so different. I threatened one of my sisters that I was going to study psychology and get into her tiny brain and unravel her like a ball of wool.” I laughed to myself at the memory. “Well, she said that actually it wasn’t a bad idea. I’d be able to do something that helps others and maybe help myself along the way.”
“Why would you need to help yourself?”
Fuck. Slipped up there.
**** “Come on Dana. Just one session.” Saz was yanking on my arm like a desperate puppy pulling on its leash because it wanted to go and chase birds.
“Dana, it’ll be good for you. You need to talk this stuff out and get it out of your system. None of us know what you’ve been through and we can only imagine but we can’t understand, not truly.” Mills was adding in her reasonable two pennies and right now she could shove it. They’d concocted a stupid plan to bring me to some support group for women abused by their partners and husbands after I had specifically told them I didn’t want to do this shit. How Saz had found the group God only knows.
“Well you know what Dana, you can go in there now and see what this is all about and if it’s for you, or we can do this fucking dance every freakin’ week until you give it a try. I am not going to have my best friend have some mental breakdown in the near future because of what her douchebag ex did to her when we could sort it out now. No one is going to say we didn’t all fucking try. If you’re not going to do this for yourself do it for us, the people who love you. More importantly sort your fucking head out because his bullshit has to have had some effect. Do it for your son because if your history with Mitchell comes to the surface again and you can’t cope it’s going to be him that suffers. The bitch played the trump card. She knows there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Jakey. He’d been through so much already, I didn’t want to bring him any more hurt.
“Fine. Manipulative Bitch! I will go. Pick me up in an hour.”
They both hugged me and I glared at them for as long as I could hold out before a tear trickled from the corner of my eye. I wiped it away quickly but not before I heard Mills sniffle, turned and walked into the community centre. There were several women inside, the majority hovering round what looked like tea, coffee and biscuits. There was a group of seats in a circle in the middle and a lady with a clip board was already beginning to take a seat when she caught sight of me in the doorway. I so did not want to do this. I didn’t want to talk about Mitchell or any of his shit. What happened happened and I just wanted to accept it and move on with my life. Not bring it all back up again. Fuck. She was already making her way over to me.
“Hi. I’m Amanda. Are you here for the group session?” She was peppy. By God, I fucking hated peppy people. There was just no need for it.
“If this is for the women who got used as a punch bag for the fun of it and somehow managed to escape and are now quite possibly damaged beyond all belief on the inside. Then yes I’m here for the group session.” Amanda’s smile drifted off and then returned but not at full wattage. Thank fuck.