300 sheep. Hardly enough lambs to go around, and I want you to keep that in mind. In other words, do not confide in this man. If you do, he is going to drop out of the case and that is going to make the prosecuting attorney suspicious. Why did he drop out when he can earn a fee, the prosecutor will ask himself. Because something funny is going on here. Your lawyer is an “officer of the court.” Engaging him in your little conspiracy would be dangerous for him. Worse, it would be dangerous for you.
Tell your lawyer simply that you learned your wife was unfaithful to you. In your rage you killed her. You want him to tell the prosecuting attorney that you wish to plead guilty and pay the penalty. Convince your lawyer that you are remorseful. You need him to give that impression to the prosecutor.
Next comes the homicide detective, possibly accompanied by someone from the district attorney’s office. After all, you are a prominent citizen and the victim is a wealthy member of your town’s social elite. Expect some top-level attention, because by now this drama we have so carefully scripted is beginning to take some peculiar turns.
In the interrogation room, the questioning will go something like this. The detective will ask you to describe exactly, in detail, what happened last night. You will say: “Well, I lost my temper and I killed my wife. I burst into the bathroom and grabbed her by the neck and banged her head against the end of the tub and then held her face under the water until I noticed she was dead and then I released her and called the police.”
Something like this will follow:
Detective: “Burst into the bathroom? Was the door locked?”
You: “Of course. She always locks the bathroom door.”
Det.: “You tried the door and it was locked.?”
You: “Well, no. I guess I didn’t. I was furious. In a rage. I just burst in. What difference does it make?”
(Of course, you and I know it makes a lot of difference. It is one of the ways we arouse the police interest we require.)
Det.: “Did your wife speak to you?”
You: “I didn’t give her a chance.”
Det.: “Did she struggle?”
You: “That surprised me. She didn’t. I think maybe she was sitting in the tub dozing. And then, of course, I banged her head against the tub.”
Det.: “Did you do anything to the door after that?”
You: “Do anything? What do you mean?”
Det.: “Like unlock it.”
You: “No.” (Look surprised.) “It was broken.”
Det.: “Are you sure your wife always locked the door when she took a bath?”
You: (Wry laugh.) “She had some faults, God knows, but she was a very modest woman. She always locked the door.”
Det.: “Well, she didn’t this time. You broke the knob catch but not the lock. So it wasn’t locked. Do you know of anyone who might have a reason to kill your wife?”
You: (Puzzled, fading into amazement.) “I don’t understand.”
Det.: “You say you wanted to kill her. Was there anyone else who might have done it if you didn’t?”
You: (Laugh, shake your head.) “Well, maybe Blazes Boylan. My old friend. That’s why I was so furious with her. I found out she had seduced him. Poor Blazes. She made him think she was going to marry him. When he found out it was just one of her little games he seemed very upset, as I was. It was just going too far, I thought. But I shouldn’t have killed her.”
Det.: “You didn’t. But we will be needing to talk to you until we get this straightened out. So don’t leave town.”
I recommend some sort of a performance at this point—indications of amazement, all the appropriate questions, etc. And when your lawyer appears to escort you home (and establish his right to a fee by explaining things) be careful to pretend surprise when he tells you about it.
What he’ll be telling you is what the autopsy showed. As you will very well know, the autopsy will show that the abrasion on your late wife’s head was nonlethal and that she had no
Tell your lawyer simply that you learned your wife was unfaithful to you. In your rage you killed her. You want him to tell the prosecuting attorney that you wish to plead guilty and pay the penalty. Convince your lawyer that you are remorseful. You need him to give that impression to the prosecutor.
Next comes the homicide detective, possibly accompanied by someone from the district attorney’s office. After all, you are a prominent citizen and the victim is a wealthy member of your town’s social elite. Expect some top-level attention, because by now this drama we have so carefully scripted is beginning to take some peculiar turns.
In the interrogation room, the questioning will go something like this. The detective will ask you to describe exactly, in detail, what happened last night. You will say: “Well, I lost my temper and I killed my wife. I burst into the bathroom and grabbed her by the neck and banged her head against the end of the tub and then held her face under the water until I noticed she was dead and then I released her and called the police.”
Something like this will follow:
Detective: “Burst into the bathroom? Was the door locked?”
You: “Of course. She always locks the bathroom door.”
Det.: “You tried the door and it was locked.?”
You: “Well, no. I guess I didn’t. I was furious. In a rage. I just burst in. What difference does it make?”
(Of course, you and I know it makes a lot of difference. It is one of the ways we arouse the police interest we require.)
Det.: “Did your wife speak to you?”
You: “I didn’t give her a chance.”
Det.: “Did she struggle?”
You: “That surprised me. She didn’t. I think maybe she was sitting in the tub dozing. And then, of course, I banged her head against the tub.”
Det.: “Did you do anything to the door after that?”
You: “Do anything? What do you mean?”
Det.: “Like unlock it.”
You: “No.” (Look surprised.) “It was broken.”
Det.: “Are you sure your wife always locked the door when she took a bath?”
You: (Wry laugh.) “She had some faults, God knows, but she was a very modest woman. She always locked the door.”
Det.: “Well, she didn’t this time. You broke the knob catch but not the lock. So it wasn’t locked. Do you know of anyone who might have a reason to kill your wife?”
You: (Puzzled, fading into amazement.) “I don’t understand.”
Det.: “You say you wanted to kill her. Was there anyone else who might have done it if you didn’t?”
You: (Laugh, shake your head.) “Well, maybe Blazes Boylan. My old friend. That’s why I was so furious with her. I found out she had seduced him. Poor Blazes. She made him think she was going to marry him. When he found out it was just one of her little games he seemed very upset, as I was. It was just going too far, I thought. But I shouldn’t have killed her.”
Det.: “You didn’t. But we will be needing to talk to you until we get this straightened out. So don’t leave town.”
I recommend some sort of a performance at this point—indications of amazement, all the appropriate questions, etc. And when your lawyer appears to escort you home (and establish his right to a fee by explaining things) be careful to pretend surprise when he tells you about it.
What he’ll be telling you is what the autopsy showed. As you will very well know, the autopsy will show that the abrasion on your late wife’s head was nonlethal and that she had no
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