His excitement about the prospect is very infectious.
The ground is overgrown and uneven and I've been walking head down keeping an eye on the path, as Lawrence stops, I almost bump right into the back of him.
"Look!"
Holding on to his shoulders, I lean around him to see what it is and can't help gasping. There it is! Exactly as I'd drawn it and I've never been here before in my life - well not
this
life.
The mountains are clearly marked against the hazy sky, one peak and there are the steps alongside it. After a few silent moments Lawrence turns, kissing me again. Then pulling me forwards again, "Come on, the lake is just a bit further on". Whether it is just excitement or the discovery of finding that this place really does exist, I don't know but my heart rate has accelerated and I'm impatient as he is to see more.
The path soon opens out and there is the lake, majestically waiting for us to find her, perfectly framed by grass and trees. It looks magical, unreal almost. Still holding hands we start to walk around the lake, my eyes are searching for the spot I had seen in my mind.
About half way round a rocky outcrop catches my eye. "We're close. I remember this, I've seen this before." As we round the bend, there it is; the shale covered piece of ground that led down into the lake.
"I need to sit down, there's so much to take in". It
was
all real.
"OK." Lawrence putting his bag down sits beside me.
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
"Yeh." We sit silently for some time, words seem irrelevant right now. There's a lot to take in and there's part of me trying to make sense of it all. But by far the bigger part is just happy to be sat here, as if I've finally come home. I get such a sense of peace and an almost tangible feeling of love. It's as if my spirit is rejoicing and my heart is bursting with a love that I've not felt for such a long time. Tears form in my eyes. Tears of joy. They are so warm and I am so glad to be feeling them, my heart is crying but not at something lost; at something found.
As they slowly trickle down my cheeks, I absolutely know that we are never alone and that whatever name we call it, something is always there for us. It's as if my heart has reached out and touched the universe, a universe forged in love. This is a moment I will remember forever.
As I look down into the water, I suddenly know that this feeling itself is a memory. I can see an image of me in that previous life. Saddened by the death of Jeanne Pierre and deciding to live alone for the rest of that particular life I had spent many hours by the lake. But believing in the afterlife I had wished long and hard that in future reincarnations I would always know what love was. What it really was. I had sent a future blessing out to myself despite the loss I had been feeling back then. This was a gift from my soul, my spirit to me.
Words cannot come close to describing how this feels, it's as if every cell in my body is kissed by love and the warmth that physically flushes my heart and body is real, the second I feel it, I'm moved to gentle tears of joy. To know that such love is truly possible for me and for us all is a treasure few people find. I know this an absolute gift.
Lawrence reaches over and covers my hand with his. He can see I don't want to move or talk right now and the warmth of his hand is a caring reassurance. I softly pull him closer and lean against him as he puts his arm around my shoulder. I am so glad he brought me here and that I have remembered. We sit like this for some time.
Lawrence had picked up a small stick and had been scratching idly in the sand. I'm ready to move too and have another look around.
"Come on let's explore a bit more." He moves to reach for his bag
"Leave the bag here, we won't go far. I just want to walk for a bit."
As I reach down to give him a hand up, I can see what he has been scratching. Another image flashes a light in my mind. "I've seen that too! But not here on the shore." I
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