The Outcast
her?’
    He could hear water in his head and he couldn’t breathe.
    Gilbert took his hand suddenly and it shocked him.

    64
    ‘Tell me how it happened! Tell me! Lewis, tell me.’ ‘She sh— sh—’
    ‘Lewis, you need to try to explain to us what happened to your mother.’
    ‘It’s no good. Look at him.’
    ‘I don’t think he can understand.’
    ‘I’ll take him upstairs. We should have left it another day.
    Gilbert, are you all right?’
    Dr Straechen took Lewis upstairs and sedated him. He had spent two days sedated before, and he went back into nothing- ness and the numb feeling inside his head with something like gratitude.

    The day before Lewis went back to school Gilbert took him to the Nappers’ for tea.When Mary Napper greeted them at the door she hugged Lewis. Since his mother died, people kept touching him.They were either shaking his hand or rubbing his head or patting him on the back, as if now that he didn’t belong to his mother he belonged to everybody. At the funeral a lady bent down and did up his shoelace without saying anything to him at all and he wanted to snatch his foot away; he didn’t even know whose mother she was.
    ‘Gilbert, I’m so glad you came. Lewis, everyone’s outside, why don’t you run and find them?’
    Lewis left the house and walked down towards the sound of playing. The badminton was set up some way from the house and the grass wasn’t smooth and flat like at the Carmichaels’, but sloped down from the red house in bumps with a paddock and a ruined well.
    He sawTamsin and Ed playing badminton.The other children, Joanna and the Johnson twins, Robert and Fred, and others,

    65
    were watching, or climbing an old apple tree nearby. There were a few apples, but they were mostly sour and wasps hovered over the ground for the rotten ones. Kit, in a good position up in the tree, saw Lewis come towards them. He stopped to watch with his hands in his pockets.
    Tamsin and Ed stopped playing and looked at him.The other children stopped too.
    ‘Hello, Lewis!’ saidTamsin, and Kit thought she sounded just like their mother.‘Do you want to play?’
    ‘No, s’all right,’ said Lewis, standing still.
    Everyone stood about and seemed to have forgotten what- ever it was they were doing. Lewis leaned against the tree and watched and later, to be polite, played against Ed, who beat him and then kept apologising for it.
    When Gilbert came down to collect him, his black suit showed up hard in the September light and the children stared as Lewis went to him. His mother dying was embarrassing and disgusting to them.They should have liked to turn their backs on him.They all said goodbye politely and carried on playing.
    Kit watched him go away across the grass next to his father. He didn’t seem like Lewis to her any more. She laid her cheek against the bark of the apple tree and tried to picture his mother. She couldn’t. She wondered if Lewis could.

    Gilbert took Lewis to school in the car the next day and spoke to his headmaster before leaving him. Lewis stood outside in the corridor and waited. He could hear the other boys arriving in the dorms downstairs. Gilbert and his headmaster came out and Gilbert put his hand on Lewis’s head, quite gently, before he left him.
    * * *

    66
    Gilbert drove straight up to the flat. He left the curtains closed in the drawing room and sat down in a chair with his hands on his knees. It was three o’clock in the afternoon.
    ‘Lizzie died ten days ago,’ he said.
    He could hear the traffic, muffled by the windows and the thick curtains. Daylight blurred around the edges of the curtains.
    ‘Lizzie died,’ he said. ‘Lizzie died ten days ago. My wife is dead. My wife died recently.’
    The next day he went into the office and his work went well.

    When he got home that night he went about the flat and found all Elizabeth’s things. She had evening dresses hanging in the cupboard that were just for London and he pulled them off the

Similar Books

The Legacy

T.J. Bennett

That McCloud Woman

Peggy Moreland

Yuletide Defender

Sandra Robbins

Annie Burrows

Reforming the Viscount

Doppler

Erlend Loe

Mindswap

Robert Sheckley

Grunts

John C. McManus