Read Online The Other Teddy Roosevelts by Mike Resnick - Free Book Online

outlaws.”
    “Oh?” said Baldy, suddenly alert.
    “The criminal element thinks it controls this city,” answered Roosevelt. “And to be truthful, they are very close to being right. This is unacceptable. I will bring law and order to New York no matter what it takes.” He paused, staring at each in turn through his spectacles. “I thought you two might like to help.”
    “I knew it!” said Baldy. He looked around. “Where’s the rubber hoses?”
    “Nobody’s going to hurt you,” said Roosevelt. “We’re all friends, remember?”
    “Sure we are.”
    “We are ,” insisted Roosevelt. “In fact, I have proof of it.”
    “What the hell are you talking about?” demanded Eye-Patch.
    “This,” said Roosevelt. He handed each of them a photograph, taken the night before. There was Roosevelt, throwing his massive arms around the two happy criminals.
    “I don’t understand,” said Baldy.
    “You’re going to become my spies,” said Roosevelt. “I’ve rented a room under a false name in the worst section of the Bowery. I’ll be there every Monday and Thursday night, and twice a week you’re going to report to me and tell me everything that’s being planned, who’s behind it, who is responsible for crimes that have already been committed, and where I can find the perpetrators.”
    “You must be crazy!” said Baldy.
    “Oh, I don’t think so. “There are more copies of that photo. If you don’t agree to help me, the next time we capture a member from either of your gangs, that photo will be in every newspaper in the city, and the caption will say that it’s a picture of me thanking you for informing on your friends.”
    “Oh, shit!” muttered Eye-Patch. “You’d do it, too, wouldn’t you?”
    “Absolutely. One way or another, I’m going to bring law and order to New York. Do we have an agreement?”
    “We ain’t got no choice,” said Baldy.
    “No, you don’t,” agreed Roosevelt.
    “How long are you going to hold that photo like a rope over our heads?” asked Eye-Patch.
    “As long as it takes to get some results.”
    “Are you open to a deal?”
    “We just made one,” said Roosevelt.
    “A different one.”
    “Go ahead.”
    “We’ll do what you want,” said Eye-Patch. “We ain’t got any choice. But there’s a guy who can get everything you need a lot quicker than we can, and maybe put a few of the biggest crooks out of action for you. You don’t know him—nobody on your side of the fence does—but if I can put you together with him and he’s what I say he is, will you burn the pictures?”
    “He’ll never go for it,” said Baldy.
    “I might,” said Roosevelt.
    “I don’t mean you, sir,” said Baldy. “I’m talking about Big D. There’s no place he can’t go, and he ain’t scared of nothing.”
    “Big D,” Roosevelt frowned. “I’ve never heard of him.”
    “That’s not surprising,” said Eye-Patch. “He only comes around once a week or so, usually just before the bars close. But I’ve seen him talking and drinking with just about every man you want to nail. Yes, sir, if you’ll go for my deal, we’ll pass the word to Big D that you’d like to have a pow-wow with him.”
    Roosevelt pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled an address on it. “This is my room in the Bowery,” he said, handing it to Eye-Patch. “Beneath it is the name I will be using while there. Tell him there’s money involved if he accepts my offer.”
    “Then we have a deal?”
    “Not until I meet him and decide if he’s the man I need.”
    “And if he’s not?” persisted Eye-Patch.
    “Then you’ll be no worse off than you are now,” said Roosevelt.
    “What happens to the photos if he kills you?” asked Baldy.
    “You think he might?” asked Roosevelt.
    “Anything’s possible,” said Baldy. “He’s a strange one, that Big D.” He paused uncomfortably. “So if he decides to kill you…” He let the sentence hang in the air.
    “He’ll find out what it’s