Read Online The One Percenters by John W. Podgursky - Free Book Online
Authors: John W. Podgursky
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day, it was sunny, all systems go, and then—wham-bam-boom—this woman crashes through me like I didn’t exist. Who the hell do these people think they are? They’re the same damn people who yell at the bank tellers and hold up the grocery line counting pennies. Frankly, I’m glad I hit the sorry twig.
Somebody needed to.
I left the radio where it sat on the ground, assuming it was beyond repair. I was halfway to my car when I decided I wasn’t leaving without a radio, so I went in to see Studly Gotmuscle again.
“Problems?” He was wadding up paper and chucking it at the wastebasket. There were a dozen or so misses staggered on the floor.
“I need another radio. Same kind.”
“You giving it as a gift? We have gift cards, you know. Certificates too.”
“No. No gift. I just need. .”
It was then that the door opened with a start.
The stick was back with some guy who I can only assume was her boyfriend. He had three inches on me, and about thirty pounds.
“Who the hell do you think you are, hitting a woman?!”
“I didn’t hit her.” I lied. “She plowed into me and broke my radio. That’s why I’m back in here in the first place.” “Are you calling Missy here a liar?” His tone was deadly, and his voice was loud. He had one of those creepy spider-web tattoos on his elbow.
Mr. Workout stepped in from behind the counter.
“Sir, please keep your voice down. You’ll upset the other customers.” There were no other customers in the store at the time, but I wasn’t about to point this fact out. I felt it was in my best interest to keep quiet.
“This doesn’t concern you, freak.” I can only imagine that in his anger, Mr. X forgot who he was talking to, because my new best friend Page 47
stood up and approached him.
“Now it does. I told you to quiet down, and I’m not going to ask you again.” It was a string of words I had heard time and time again, and it was becoming tiresome. I was hoping they’d get right to the good stuff; I needed a distraction.
Well, fortunately for me, boys will be boys. The boyfriend was now all into it with the clerk. They began trading insults. Apparently his girlfriend’s problems took a back seat to his own situation. While they were circling and eyeing each other like cobra and mongoose, I quietly slipped out the door, now feeling quite content to leave radioless.
I guess it’s only logical that people act like animals; after all, we are animals. But it’s especially humorous to see two guys arguing, sizing one another up. Equally funny is when a man and a woman flirt—the equivalent of the goofy courtship dance among some birds, I presume. I guess anger and lust are the only motivations powerful enough to persuade us to drop the facade we call humanity, if only for a few minutes to fight or fuck.
The incident at the storefront got me to thinking.
Specifically, I imagined that moment when you are nearing someone who is walking towards you on a sidewalk. Obviously, someone has to move laterally.
Now, sometimes you both move, and fall into that left-right-left, am-I-avoiding-you-or-are-you-avoiding-me situation when hopefully you both end up wearing smiles. Most of the time, though, most of the time it is I who gives way. And I got around to thinking right there or then about why that is. Is it just that I am an extraordinary person, or is there something more to it?
Do I come off as a pushover, as submissive even? And if so, how would people sense this without even talking to me? It’s not as though I’m undersized or anything like that. My next thought was pheromones, but I was doubtful that they could be picked up on so quickly from a distance, especially on a crowded sidewalk.
Still, something’s going on here. The future is now, and the rules are all changing.
Page 48
Technological advancement has changed the world, and not only in the way you’re thinking. It’s more than just practical. Now even the weakest, the dimmest, the
Somebody needed to.
I left the radio where it sat on the ground, assuming it was beyond repair. I was halfway to my car when I decided I wasn’t leaving without a radio, so I went in to see Studly Gotmuscle again.
“Problems?” He was wadding up paper and chucking it at the wastebasket. There were a dozen or so misses staggered on the floor.
“I need another radio. Same kind.”
“You giving it as a gift? We have gift cards, you know. Certificates too.”
“No. No gift. I just need. .”
It was then that the door opened with a start.
The stick was back with some guy who I can only assume was her boyfriend. He had three inches on me, and about thirty pounds.
“Who the hell do you think you are, hitting a woman?!”
“I didn’t hit her.” I lied. “She plowed into me and broke my radio. That’s why I’m back in here in the first place.” “Are you calling Missy here a liar?” His tone was deadly, and his voice was loud. He had one of those creepy spider-web tattoos on his elbow.
Mr. Workout stepped in from behind the counter.
“Sir, please keep your voice down. You’ll upset the other customers.” There were no other customers in the store at the time, but I wasn’t about to point this fact out. I felt it was in my best interest to keep quiet.
“This doesn’t concern you, freak.” I can only imagine that in his anger, Mr. X forgot who he was talking to, because my new best friend Page 47
stood up and approached him.
“Now it does. I told you to quiet down, and I’m not going to ask you again.” It was a string of words I had heard time and time again, and it was becoming tiresome. I was hoping they’d get right to the good stuff; I needed a distraction.
Well, fortunately for me, boys will be boys. The boyfriend was now all into it with the clerk. They began trading insults. Apparently his girlfriend’s problems took a back seat to his own situation. While they were circling and eyeing each other like cobra and mongoose, I quietly slipped out the door, now feeling quite content to leave radioless.
I guess it’s only logical that people act like animals; after all, we are animals. But it’s especially humorous to see two guys arguing, sizing one another up. Equally funny is when a man and a woman flirt—the equivalent of the goofy courtship dance among some birds, I presume. I guess anger and lust are the only motivations powerful enough to persuade us to drop the facade we call humanity, if only for a few minutes to fight or fuck.
The incident at the storefront got me to thinking.
Specifically, I imagined that moment when you are nearing someone who is walking towards you on a sidewalk. Obviously, someone has to move laterally.
Now, sometimes you both move, and fall into that left-right-left, am-I-avoiding-you-or-are-you-avoiding-me situation when hopefully you both end up wearing smiles. Most of the time, though, most of the time it is I who gives way. And I got around to thinking right there or then about why that is. Is it just that I am an extraordinary person, or is there something more to it?
Do I come off as a pushover, as submissive even? And if so, how would people sense this without even talking to me? It’s not as though I’m undersized or anything like that. My next thought was pheromones, but I was doubtful that they could be picked up on so quickly from a distance, especially on a crowded sidewalk.
Still, something’s going on here. The future is now, and the rules are all changing.
Page 48
Technological advancement has changed the world, and not only in the way you’re thinking. It’s more than just practical. Now even the weakest, the dimmest, the
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