The Offering

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Authors: Angela Hunt
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me. “I miss him even now.”
    â€œDid your mother remarry?”
    â€œNo. Mom never seemed to have much interest in men . . . or maybe she just didn’t have time to date. Between her job and taking care of me, she stayed pretty busy.”
    â€œSo you grew up as an only child?”
    I nodded. “That’s why I want to have more kids when Gideon and I can afford them. I’ve always wanted a big family—that’s probably why I love being around Gid’s family so much. They’re always together.”
    Natasha glanced at her notes, then looked up at me. “What’s the one moment you’re dreading most in terms of being a gestational carrier? It’s perfectly natural to have concerns and anxieties about the process, so you can be completely honest.”
    I considered the question. “Everyone seems to think I’ll have trouble surrendering the baby, but I don’t think that’ll be a problem. Maybe I’m being unrealistic, but I honestly feel . . . detached.It won’t be my baby, so I won’t bond with him or her. I won’t allow myself to get all caught up in feelings I have no right to feel.”
    Natasha nodded, her expression thoughtful. “If you don’t expect to feel maternal, how do you expect to feel? How do you envision your relationship with the child you’ll be carrying?”
    I smiled, confident of my answer. “I think I’ll see myself as a babysitter. As someone who’s been placed in charge of a helpless little one, trusted to take care of it and help it grow. And once it’s grown and ready to meet the world, I think I’ll be relieved to hand it to its true parents. And proud of myself for completing a job to the best of my ability.”
    A smile lifted the corner of Natasha’s thin mouth. “That’s an extremely healthy attitude.”
    â€œTo be honest, though, one thing does concern me . . . but maybe it’s no big deal.”
    Natasha lifted a brow. “I’m listening.”
    â€œWell”—I twisted my hands—“I’m a little worried that my husband won’t find me attractive if I get all fat with a stranger’s baby. I know pregnant females are supposed to look beautiful, but my husband comes from a family of gorgeous women and I don’t know what he’ll think if I have swollen ankles, a round face, and a big belly. When I was pregnant with Marilee he kept telling me I was beautiful, but he might not feel the same way when it’s someone else’s baby—”
    â€œThat’s why it’s important you face this situation together.” Natasha’s gaze softened. “After talking to both of you the other day, I got the impression that your husband is completely on board. I also picked up on the fact that the man adores you.”
    A rush of blood heated my face. “I am a lucky woman.”
    â€œAnd a very normal one.”
    We both turned as someone knocked on the door. When Natasha called permission to enter, the blonde who worked at the reception desk came in with a large envelope. “Dr. Dickson just messengered this over,” she said, after a quick glance at me. “I thought you might want to take a look.”
    My stomach dropped at the mention of the psychologist. He’d been a blank wall during my interview with him—I had no idea whether he’d describe me as an altruistic saint or a confirmed lunatic.
    Natasha smiled her thanks and opened the envelope. I pretended to study my nails as she pulled out a typed letter. From where I sat I could see dense, square paragraphs on the page, but I couldn’t read a word of what the doctor had written.
    What if he hated me? What if he didn’t like the answers I gave? He probably thought I was a monster because I said I’d been a daddy’s girl, so my mom and I weren’t really close. I’d tried to follow up and

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