Read Online The Not So Secret Emails Of Coco Pinchard by Robert Bryndza - Free Book Online

new people.
    Monday 16th February  17:00
    TO: [email protected]
    I am just fiddling with my new Facebook profile. What does it mean if someone pokes me? I just had an old school friend do just that. A guy called Rhydian. He was my first boyfriend. He dumped me because I threw sand at him. I was six at the time.
    Tuesday 17th February  04:01
    TO: [email protected]
    Do you remember a woman called Regan Turnbull? We taught with her when we were both at Manor High School. She has the most awful picture of me in one of her Facebook albums. Taken the night we got drunk in 1998 after the OFSTED inspection. Bad angle, bad haircut, bad diet. I look fifty - I was only thirty!
    Tuesday 17th February  04:12
    TO: [email protected]
    Sorry! Go back to sleep. I completely lost track of the time. I will message her and ask her to take the picture off. Rhydian’s poke was platonic. He is married.
    Tuesday 17th February  21:00
    TO: [email protected]
    I now have 100 Facebook friends. Just keeping up with all of them is exhausting. You click through their photos and profiles and you are confronted with another person you had consigned to your past.
    One of them is a woman who heads an influential policy group at Chatham House, campaigning against beheadings in Saudi Arabia. The last time I saw her, we were five and I tried to steal her Cindy Doll, she ended up with the body and me with the head.
    Rosencrantz had to prize my hands off the mouse this evening when dinner was ready,
    “You haven’t like washed today mum,” he said.
    No response from Regan Turnbull. I keep looking at that awful picture. She never asked if she could put it out there for the entire world to see!
    Wednesday 18th February  16:30
    TO: [email protected]
    Sorry I missed your calls. I turned on the computer at nine this morning then I looked up and it was 3pm!
    211 friends and counting. I chatted to Rhydian today. He bought me a Virtual Cactus, which I must remember to virtually water. I bought him some Virtual Chocolate.
    We worked out our ‘porn names.’ Mine is Bambi Turner for which he sent me a Super Poke, his is Kenton Fluffbag. I threw a Sheep at him. He is so nice to chat to. He has a daughter the same age as Rosencrantz.
    Bad news RE Regan Turnbull. On further inspection, she hasn’t posted on her Wall or updated her status in months.
    I phoned the number listed on her profile and her Husband answered. He told me she ran off with another man last summer, and hasn’t been heard of since. She met the man on Facebook.
    I asked him if he knew her account password to remove the photo but he said,
    “If I did, this affair would’ve been nipped in the bud.” Poor man.
    Wednesday 18th February  17:03
    TO: [email protected]
    I have now looked at the photo of me so many times that it’s coming up as the first result when you Google ‘Coco Pinchard!’
    Daphne from Ohio is now in second place.
    To top it all, the Cactus from Rhydian has died. I forgot to virtually water it. Am gutted.
    Wednesday 18th February  21:47
    TO: [email protected]
    Had my first tiff with Rhydian. My status is set to, ‘Coco is currently annoyed with Rhydian’
    The reason; he bought me a Virtual Goldfish, to make up for the loss of my Virtual Cactus. What with mounting friend requests and my search for Regan, I just don’t have time for pets.
    Thursday 19th February  08:04
    TO: [email protected]
    I haven’t slept. Rhydian said the Virtual Goldfish would be low maintenance, but it was ill in the night.
    I also found Sophie Snow White’s profile. It is set to private so I can’t view her. I don’t want to friend request her.
    A horrible thought…What if she is still seeing Daniel?
    Thursday 19th February  09:15
    TO: [email protected]
    I found a way around it. I set up a fake account as ‘Karen Pritchard’ and ‘friended’ Snow White.
    There are many pictures in her