Read Online The Nickum by Doris Davidson - Free Book Online

of his other relatives, except maybe his father, so, very reluctantly, he got out the offending garment, unfolded it from its layers of tissue paper, pulling a disgusted face when his nose was assaulted by the reek of moth balls.
    His Gramma fastened all the buckles that had to be fastened, fitted on the sporran and adjusted it, saying aloud as the brainwave came to her, ‘This is where the Highlanders kept their pistols. You ken, the men that fought for Bonnie Prince Charlie.’
    It was as if she had waved a magic wand. His attitude changed as he stepped towards the wardrobe mirror in the girls’ room, his back straightening, his head more erect, his expression that of a brave Highlander, ready to defend the rightful king of Scotland, though his enemies called him the Young Pretender.
    Gramma stood by his side, nodding, encouraging him in his moment of glory. ‘D’you like it?’ she asked at last. ‘It’s right comfy, isn’t it, without breeks interfering wi’ your legs, an’ what else is in the bag?’
    When he was fully rigged out in the white shirt with ruffles at the neck, the black velvet jacket and black brogues with silver buckles, the gilt had worn slightly off the gingerbread. The velvet of the jacket and the ruffles on the shirt added more femininity to the ‘skirt’. ‘Do I have to wear it, Gramma?’
    ‘Becky wants you looking smart, my pet, so for her … and me, eh? It’s just for one day, you ken. One day’s nae that lang.’
    And so the kilt was donned on the morning of the wedding and Willie Fowlie became one of Prince Charles Stuart’s soldiers for one day … or part of a day. Everything was going without a hitch, but just as Willie was making his way down the ladder, one of his schoolmates spotted him and ran into the parlour to tell the other boys who were there with their parents. The Highlander was greeted with roars of raucous laughter.
    Gramma Fowlie, close behind her grandson to prevent him turning and going back, was not prepared for what he did then. Unbuckling the sporran, he flung it on the floor and got himself divested of the ‘skirt’ in spite of all the woman’s efforts to stop him. She was, however, greatly relieved that he had refused to come downstairs without his drawers on, even if she had told him real Highlanders wore nothing under their kilts.
    Poor Becky had to be content with the photographer placing her pageboy at the rear of the wedding group so that just his head and shoulders could be seen. Released from bondage, Willie disappeared to his attic and wouldn’t come down until his Gramma Fowlie told him all the goodies would be eaten and there would be nothing for him if he didn’t go down that very minute. Becky was mortified at what had happened, Emily was mortified, ashamed and furious at her son, but the rest of the party, especially the men, thought it had been hilarious. Jake was torn between having a laugh at his son’s expense, being proud of him for sticking to his guns and feeling angry at him for spoiling his big sister’s wedding day. He didn’t worry about it after a couple of drinks, though, and carried out the duties of father of the bride and head of the house, exhorting all the other men to ‘Ha’e another dram. Dinna worry aboot what the wife’s goin’ to say in the mornin’, enjoy yoursel’s the nicht. We’re a lang time deid, eh lads?’
    They needed no further coaxing, and their wives, as they always did on such occasions, knew better than to try to rein in their men while they were drunk. Nemesis could wait until they were sober. The younger men were more interested in the girls than in the intoxicating liquor, and gradually most of them, plus an equal number of young females, would have been found to be missing if anyone had been counting them. Emily, of course, realised at one point that Connie had disappeared and tried to think which of the boys she could have disappeared with, but so many were absent that she gave up the