Read Online The Most Beautiful Woman in Town by Charles Bukowski - Free Book Online Page A

Bagley. something wrong with you.”
    â€œyeah, yeah, you’re right. insomnia. I keep thinking we should be making soldiers! I toss all night! what a business that would be!”
    â€œBag, we do the best with what we can, that’s all.”
    â€œaw right, aw right, you run him through the wringer yet?”
    â€œTWICE yet! I got all the guts out. you’ll see.”
    â€œaw right, trot him over. let’s try him.”
    Danforth brought Herman Telleman back. he did look a bit different. all the color was gone from his eyes and he had on this utterly false smile. it was beautiful.
    â€œHerman?” asked Bagley.
    â€œyes, sir?”
    â€œwhat do you feel? or how do you feel?”
    â€œI don’t feel anything, sir.”
    â€œyou like cops?”
    â€œnot cops, sir — policemen. they are the victims of our viciousness even though they at times protect us by shooting us, jailing us, beating us and fining us. There is no such thing as a bad cop. Policeman, pardon me. do you realize that if there were no policemen, we’d have to take the law into our own hands?”
    â€œand then what would happen?”
    â€œI never thought of that, sir.”
    â€œexcellent. do you believe in God?”
    â€œoh, yes sir, in God and Family and State and Country and honest labor.”
    â€œjesus christ!”
    â€œwhat, sir?”
    â€œsorry. now, here, do you like overtime on a job?”
    â€œoh, yes sir! I would like to work 7 days a week if possible, and 2 jobs if possible.”
    â€œwhy?”
    â€œmoney, sir. money for color tv, new autos, down payment on a home, silk pajamas, 2 dogs, an electric shave, life insurance, medical insurance, oh all kinds of insurance and college educations for my children if I have children and automatic doors on the garage and fine clothes and 45 dollar shoes, and cameras, wrist watches, rings, washers, refrigerators, new chairs, new beds, wall-to-wall carpeting, donations to the church, thermostat heating and .. .”
    â€œall right. stop. now when are you going to use all this stuff?”
    â€œI don’t understand, sir.”
    â€œI mean, when you are working night and day and overtime, when are you going to enjoy these luxuries?”
    â€œoh, there’ll be a day, there’ll be a day, sir!”
    â€œand you don’t think your kids will grow up some day and just think of you as an asshole?”
    â€œafter I’ve worked my fingers to the bone for them, sir! of course not!”
    â€œexcellent. now just a few more questions.”
    â€œyes, sir.”
    â€œdon’t you think that all this constant drudgery is harmful to the health and the spirit, the soul, if you will…?”
    â€œoh hell, if I weren’t working all the time I’d just be sitting around drinking or making oil paintings or fucking or going to the circus or sitting in the park watching the ducks. things like that.”
    â€œdon’t you think sitting around in the park watching the ducks is nice?”
    â€œI can’t make any money that way, sir.”
    â€œo.k., fuck-off.
    â€œsir?”
    â€œI mean, I’m through talking to you.”
    â€œo.k., this one’s ready, Dan. fine job. give him the contract, make him sign it, he won’t read the fine print. he thinks we’re nice. trot him down to the address. they’ll take him. I ain’t sent out a better cost accountant in months.”
    Danforth had Herman sign the contract, checked his eyes again to make sure that they were dead, put the contract and the address in his hand, led him to the door and gave him a gentle push down the stairway.
    Bagley just leaned back with an easy smile of success and watched Danforth run the other 18 through the wringer. where their guts went it was hard to see but almost every man lost his guts somewhere along the line. the ones labeled “married with family” or “over 40” lost their