pulse. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. And I knew this was it. The moment. The one I had been waiting for.
The Present Day 8
Your house is on fire Your children will burn
I laughed and laughed. I couldn’t stop. I was delirious with exhaustion and dehydration. I was starving and had forgotten what it felt like to be full. All I could think about was Maren. And Bradley. And the whispered secrets my mind shielded from me. And it was all so funny! I lay against the wall that separated Maren and me. It was as close as I could get to the woman I loved. “Do you remember that time you snapped the guitar string and it hit me in the face? It sliced my skin right open. It hurt so much, but you wiped up the blood and then we started laughing. And laughing.” Could Maren hear me? I knew she could. So I kept talking. I kept laughing. Just so I didn’t feel so alone. My eyelids felt heavy and I closed them. Only for a minute. But I didn’t want to sleep. The dreams were more terrifying than being awake.
Beep. Beep. Beep. “I’m here, Nora, and I expect you to snap out of it! This is not appropriate. And it is not suitable behavior. How dare you make me look a fool! I should have gotten rid of you when I had the chance! Now look at you!” I didn’t want to hear her voice. Her words hurt. That’s why she said them. I kept my eyes closed and tried to drift away. Away from her and her angry, angry words. Beep. Beep. Beep. “I should have drowned you that first night. When I saw your horrible face, I knew you were no child. You were a demon! My sin brought to life! He hated you. He wouldn’t stay because of you! And now I’m stuck with the thing that I despise the most!” Stop it! I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. I wanted to cry, but the tears were gone. She didn’t deserve them anyway. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I sat up with a start. Something was different. I tried to pull myself up to my knees. It took a few attempts given how weak I was, but I was finally able to after a few attempts. I looked at Maren through the hole in the wall. Still. So very still. But wait. Had she moved? Maybe? Had her arm been outstretched like that before? I could have sworn her hair had been brushed around her and not over her shoulder. I was pretty sure her head moved slightly, even though I still couldn’t see her face. “Maren?” I called out. Nothing. I slid back down the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest. My stomach growled and I tried to swallow. My parched throat burned. I was so tired. So hungry. So very, very thirsty. But I didn’t have time to think about my thirst or my hunger. I had to think about a way to get out of here. A way to get free. For me. For Maren. “Where’s Bradley?” “I don’t know, Maren. He has to be looking for me. He’s probably going out of his mind.” “Where’s Bradley?” “Stop asking me that! I don’t know!” I screamed at her. It was a simple question with an equally simple answer, yet it enraged me. Mostly because I couldn’t answer it. It stirred up doubts that I didn’t want to think about. Dark, dangerous thoughts about the person who had locked us away. “I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep you safe, Nora. Even if you hate me for it.” There were so many memories. Bits and pieces that were starting to come together like a gigantic, messy puzzle. I had wanted to remember that night. The one that brought me here. I had been so desperate for it. But the longer that I remained trapped, the harder it was for me to hold onto the reality I had lived out there at all. The snippets that had played in my mind came with so much anger and betrayal that I knew something horrible had happened. Something that I had blocked out. Something that once remembered, would destroy what little sanity I had left. I itched at the burning skin on my foot. The tattoo. Bright red against pale skin. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time. I