Read Online The Missing Person's Guide to Love by Susanna Jones - Free Book Online

books, he said. The next day he came home with a goldfish bowl and two little red fish. The expression on his face—’ The man’s voice crumbled. He put up his hands as though he was trying to frame Owen’s face in the air. His fingers tensed, loosened, then dropped to his sides. He blinked, swallowed and waited a moment. ‘They were sweet, the fish.’
    ‘Did he stay with you for long?’
    ‘Hardly at all.’ He was steady again now and raised his voice to prove it. ‘Just weekends, here and there. But each time he came he did something to my flat. Some people have to be doing useful things all the time, don’t they?’ He looked me up and down, then down and up. ‘You look as if you don’t like to sit around waiting for your nails to dry. You look as if you get up at six and go to the gym before breakfast. Myself, I’m pretty lazy. When I’m not working I’m sleeping. But it always seemed to me that Owen worked harder than he needed to.’ He smiled at me. ‘I’ve still got one of the fish. It’s cute. A lot fatter than it used to be, but it doesn’t seem to have grown much longer. Maybe I give it the wrong kind of food. I can’t afford to buy the most expensive brand. I know fish food doesn’t cost much, but anyway . . .’ Helooked out over the lake. ‘A friend ate the other one.’
    ‘The other fish? That’s disgusting.’
    ‘Yeah. I’ve always felt bad about it. I told Owen it died of fungus but actually it was swallowed alive to pay a debt in a game of poker. Poor Owen. I wonder, Isabel,’ the man lowered his voice, ‘maybe he’s listening in now and learning about this for the first time.’
    ‘Don’t.’
    ‘He might be.’
    ‘If he is, do you think he’s pissed off?’
    ‘You know, Isabel, I’m not sure. I couldn’t guess how he’s feeling. What do you think?’
    ‘I never knew this particular Owen you’re talking about so I couldn’t say. If I had to guess I’d say, yes, he’s pissed off He was very serious, even when he was being funny. I mean, I don’t think he was the laughing-it-off type. On the other hand, I imagine he has more to be pissed off about right now than a goldfish. He’s dead.’
    The man looked up at the sky and rolled his eyes around to me in mock-fear. I let out a feeble laugh. He echoed it with a weaker one.
    ‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘He’s probably building himself a new bed and some bookcases.’
    ‘I don’t know if Owen believed in life after death.’
    ‘I don’t know either. It wasn’t the sort of thing we ever talked about, though we did go to church together for a few years. I was brought up to think I had no choice but to live in heaven for eternity. I don’t know whether Owen expected to be there too.’
    ‘It’s not very appealing, is it, heaven? Look at this beautifullandscape.’ He waved an arm towards the trees, then beyond them to the moors. ‘I tell you what, I’d rather have a day here than for ever in heaven. I’d be glad to do the exchange.’
    ‘You’d sell your soul, then, for this place?’
    ‘Everyone should sell their soul for their heart’s desire, Isabel, if they have any integrity. It’s the only thing worth doing.’
    ‘You may be right about that. You like to use my name, don’t you? It’s disconcerting.’
    He walked away from me. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you.’ He threw more bread at the geese. ‘I’m bothering you.’
    ‘No, no.’ Now I felt bad. I quite liked this man and was enjoying our conversation. I worried that I was too comfortable with him, since I had no idea who he was. ‘It’s fine. Just a bit surprising that the first person I meet when I arrive here is a complete stranger who seems to know a lot about me.’
    ‘Thank you for pointing it out. I won’t use your name again.’
    ‘You can use it as much as you like, but you haven’t told me yours.’
    ‘It’s John.’ He turned, mollified. ‘Delighted to meet you, Isabel.’ He held out his hand