Read Online The Miss Fortune Series: Nearly Departed (Kindle Worlds Novella) by Shari Hearn - Free Book Online Page A

wig
styling before French Fry allowed me to view his masterpiece—my face. Actually,
Cookie’s face.
    He handed
me a mirror. “I present to you: evil incarnate.”
    I’m glad I
wasn’t chewing gum at the time or I would have choked on it.
    “Holy crap!”
    “Hmm-hmm.
You asked for it.” French Fry turned in the direction of the kitchen, where he had
exiled Gertie and Ida Belle two hours earlier. “Ladies, she’s ready for you.”
    Gertie ran
into the room. Ida Belle was close behind. I looked up at them. Gertie screamed
and dropped a piece of coffee cake. Ida Belle clasped a hand over her mouth.
    French Fry
held up his hand and flicked his fingers toward himself. “Praise. I want to
hear some praise.”
    “You’re
scary good,” Ida Belle said.
    Gertie
nodded. “I’m afraid to go near her.”
    “Now you’re
talking,” French Fry said, gathering his makeup and accessories. “FYI, when
that dreadful Cookie woman does finally bite the dust, I would appreciate if
you suggest to her next of kin that I NOT do her makeup. This has been a very
traumatic experience for me.”
    “Think how
I feel looking like her,” I said, still staring at Cookie in the mirror.
I saw a few pieces of something hanging from my face and neck. “I think
something weird happened here. What are these things?” I touched one of them.
    “Don’t
touch!” French Fry screamed at me. “Those are skin tags. Her face is covered
with them. And that brown-crusty thing on the side of your nose? Wart. I had to
mix a few of my powders to get the color right.”
    I looked
closely at my image in the mirror. “You gave me nose hairs?”
    French Fry
nodded. “You probably thought I was tweezing your nose hairs, didn’t you? No. I
was gluing some in. When you’re done with this sick masquerade, you need to
yank real hard to pull them out. Expect a nosebleed.”
    “What about
her teeth?” Gertie asked.
    French Fry
picked up a row of fake teeth from the table. “These slip on over her own. And,
if you’ll notice, Fortune, I added some latex to make your ears longer. Did you
know ears continue to grow throughout life? Well, they do. Older people have
bigger ears.”
    I noticed
both Gertie and Ida Belle tugging at their ears.
    “You’re
magnificent, French Fry.” And I meant it. I’d been done up by CIA makeup
artists, and I don’t think one of them produced the type of results French Fry had
just achieved.
    “Yes, in
fact I am magnificent, dear,” he said in his French Fry voice. “I’m fabulous
and wonderful. And, sadly for you, I must go.”
    Ida Belle
picked up her purse. “How much do we owe you?”
    French Fry
waived his hand at me. “Do you really think I would take money after turning a
beautiful woman into this?”
    “We have to
pay you something,” I said.
    “Oh you
will. Someday I’m coming back to Sinful and turning you into the goddess
lurking somewhere inside your rough exterior. You owe it to me, bitch.”
    I swallowed
hard. “Are you sure you won’t take cash?”
    He shook
his head. “When you least expect it, I will be back for a girls’ day out. We’ll
shop for shoes, sit on park benches and whistle at all the hot men we see, and
then we’re coming back here and I’m doing your makeup. Ta-ta.”
    Arms loaded
down with his makeup bags and prosthetic kits, French Fry strutted to the front
door. He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Hello.”
    Gertie ran
to the door and opened it for him, waving to him as he sauntered down the
walkway. She then closed the door.
    I ran my
hand lightly over my face. “It feels like I gained a hundred pounds with all
the stuff he had to add to my face.”
    Gertie winced.
“Those are the most realistic skin tags I’ve ever seen. God help me, I want to
snip them off.” She bit her hand.
    Ida Belle
stared at my chest. “Amazing. How did he get your boobs to sag?”
    “They’re
not mine. My real boobs are smashed back with an ace bandage. The saggy ones
are prosthetics.” I