Read Online The Miles Between Us by Laurie Breton - Free Book Online

something—a little girl’s laughter, a snippet of song on the radio—would bring back a rush of memory so strong it sent her reeling. But she always recovered. Always managed to hold herself together. What else could she do? Life went on, no matter how much something might hurt. It was a truth she’d learned at the age of fifteen, when she lost her mother, and everything in her life had changed. You kept on going. You raised your chin, threw back your shoulders, and put one foot in front of the other. You continued moving. Because standing still was the worst thing you could do. If you stood still, the demons might catch up to you.
    And nobody wanted the demons to catch up.
     
    * * *
     
    When she got home, Rob was on the porch swing, feet propped on the railing, bony ankles crossed, the swing moving with glorious indolence. His gaze followed her as she approached the house. She paused to deadhead a wilted marigold in the flower bed that lined the walkway, then climbed the steps and crossed the porch to him.
    “Hey,” he said.
    “Hey.” She sat beside him and drew her legs up under her. He raised an arm and she scooted closer to his side, her cheek cushioned against his bicep. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head and said, “Feeling better?”
    She ran a finger down the soft flesh of his inner arm, elbow to wrist . “I went to visit Katie.”
    “Oh ,” he said, his tone rife with meaning.
    “I’m sorry I was snotty to you.”
    “ I have broad shoulders. You’ve just been through hell. And your hormones are all messed up. Give it a little time. Things will eventually settle down, and you’ll start to feel more like yourself.”
    “I need to see Emma . Come with me?”
    Hand in hand, they climbed the stairs to Emma’s bedroom, where the shades were drawn against the bright midday sun. Still holding hands, they stood by the side of their daughter’s crib and watched her breathing. Her features softened by sleep, Emma lay on her stomach, arms flung haphazardly, her knees bent, her round little rump pointing heavenward.
    “We did this,” Casey said, leaning her head against his shoulder. “We made her. You and I.”
    He wrapped his arm around her and said, “We did.”
    “It still takes my breath away . The miracle of life. The fact that she’s half you and half me. Don’t you think that’s amazing?”
    “I do . I look at her and I see you. Then she changes expression, and I see me. She looks like Paige, and my sister Meg. Then I look at a picture of your mother, and I see a resemblance yet again.”
    “She’s the amazing, ultimate expression of the love I feel for you.”
    He lowered his head and, his breath warm on her ear, kissed her temple. “You worry about her, don’t you?”
    “I can’t help it . After so many losses…I’m not the same person I used to be. I’ve learned, through experience, just how cruel life can be.” In her sleep, Emma grimaced, those pink rosebud lips drawing together in an expression of distaste. Casey gently brushed her knuckles across her daughter’s cheek, and Emma flinched. “You understand, don’t you? Why I need another baby? Why I’m so unwilling to quit?”
    “I’m trying, babe . I’m trying to understand.”
    “It’s the miracle. It’s that inexpressibly sweet baby scent that I draw into my lungs, that hot rush of love when I see her smile. That fierce and primal protectiveness that means I’d kill anyone who tried to do harm to her. It’s looking into her face and seeing you looking back. It’s watching the two of you, walking hand in hand through my flower garden, picking a fistful to bring to me. It’s an addiction, like heroin. I need that feeling, that overwhelming, incomparable feeling of love that I can’t get any other place. And for some inexplicable reason, I need it over and over again. Which is why I can’t give up. I can’t stop trying.”
    He pulled her closer, and she pressed her cheek to his chest, where his heart