loads
about unfinished business, people not ready to go, some stuff about bearing
grudges –’
‘I don’t have
any grudges.’
She looks at me
with a knowing smile. ‘You don’t have any grudges? I can name a few. And you do
have some unfinished business.’
I open my mouth
to argue but then I realise that she’s right. ‘Ingrid… But that’s never going
to happen now.’
‘You saying
that’s never going to happen doesn’t mean you can let
it go,’ she says. ‘But the stuff on the internet also says that sometimes the
dead person’s spirit attaches itself to a significant living one and it’s only
them that can hear and see the spirit. If that’s true, how come Ingrid
isn’t having this conversation with you instead of me?’
‘Maybe because
Ingrid would freak as soon as she saw me and you don’t?’
‘It still
doesn’t make any sense, though. I mean, we practically never even looked
at each other before now.’
As bad as it
makes me feel she has a point. ‘That can’t be right, then, can it?’
‘ Which is why we need to talk to someone who knows this stuff.
I’ll go and see her. It’s got to be worth a try.’
I stare at
her. She looks different tonight, but I’m not sure why.
‘You seem like
you’re not even sure you want to go on to where you’re supposed to be,’ she
says.
‘I can’t hang
around like this forever, it’s driving me crazy. But I don’t know what’s
waiting for me either.’
She nods. ‘It’s
pretty scary, I suppose.’
‘Terrifying.’ Saying it even takes me by surprise.
‘It’s ok to be
afraid,’ she says.
I don’t know
what to say, so I look out across the fields. You can’t see what’s out there
beyond our little circle of light. My hand creeps along the bench and
rests next to Bethany’s. She
looks across at me and smiles as she puts her hand on the bench through mine.
‘We don’t have
to do anything,’ she says quietly.
‘We don’t,’ I
agree, ‘but I’m even more scared of being alone forever.’
‘I’m sure there
must be other people like me, who can see you,’ she says. I know she’s
just trying to be encouraging and I wish I could feel better for it.
Suddenly, she
sits up really straight and cocks her head to one side. ‘Did you hear something?’
I listen for a
second. There’s absolute silence, not even the distant whoosh of a car on
the road, not the tiniest breeze stirring the grass. But then I hear a sound,
like the rustle of fabric. Bethany
leaps off the bench and squeezes herself in a corner beneath a canteen
window. She waves her hand frantically at me to join her.
‘No one can see
me,’ I say. ‘Wait here, I’ll go and look.’
She nods
silently, her wide eyes reflecting the security light.
I round the
corner of the building and the main yard opens out in front of me.
There’s something strangely exhilarating about not having to be scared any more
and I stride across the grounds. The yard is in gloom but I see two
silhouettes flit past the fence towards the main building. They don’t look like
kids, at least, not little ones. I watch for a few moments but the yard
is still and silent again. Whoever they were, they’ve gone now.
I run back to Bethany.
She’s still in the corner, her breathing shallow, eyes darting everywhere.
‘You need to
go,’ I whisper. ‘And you need to be really quiet.’ I don’t know why I suddenly
feel like she needs to go. And I don’t know why I’m whispering but I
can’t help it.
She doesn’t question
my instructions but scrambles up and makes her way silently along the wall,
keeping as close as she can. I follow her. We reach the edge of the
canteen wall, and the only way to get to the fence now is to break cover. In
silent agreement, we start to run towards the gap in the wire. From the corner
of my eye I see a shadow and before I have a chance to warn her, another figure
steps forwards and blocks her way. A squeal
about unfinished business, people not ready to go, some stuff about bearing
grudges –’
‘I don’t have
any grudges.’
She looks at me
with a knowing smile. ‘You don’t have any grudges? I can name a few. And you do
have some unfinished business.’
I open my mouth
to argue but then I realise that she’s right. ‘Ingrid… But that’s never going
to happen now.’
‘You saying
that’s never going to happen doesn’t mean you can let
it go,’ she says. ‘But the stuff on the internet also says that sometimes the
dead person’s spirit attaches itself to a significant living one and it’s only
them that can hear and see the spirit. If that’s true, how come Ingrid
isn’t having this conversation with you instead of me?’
‘Maybe because
Ingrid would freak as soon as she saw me and you don’t?’
‘It still
doesn’t make any sense, though. I mean, we practically never even looked
at each other before now.’
As bad as it
makes me feel she has a point. ‘That can’t be right, then, can it?’
‘ Which is why we need to talk to someone who knows this stuff.
I’ll go and see her. It’s got to be worth a try.’
I stare at
her. She looks different tonight, but I’m not sure why.
‘You seem like
you’re not even sure you want to go on to where you’re supposed to be,’ she
says.
‘I can’t hang
around like this forever, it’s driving me crazy. But I don’t know what’s
waiting for me either.’
She nods. ‘It’s
pretty scary, I suppose.’
‘Terrifying.’ Saying it even takes me by surprise.
‘It’s ok to be
afraid,’ she says.
I don’t know
what to say, so I look out across the fields. You can’t see what’s out there
beyond our little circle of light. My hand creeps along the bench and
rests next to Bethany’s. She
looks across at me and smiles as she puts her hand on the bench through mine.
‘We don’t have
to do anything,’ she says quietly.
‘We don’t,’ I
agree, ‘but I’m even more scared of being alone forever.’
‘I’m sure there
must be other people like me, who can see you,’ she says. I know she’s
just trying to be encouraging and I wish I could feel better for it.
Suddenly, she
sits up really straight and cocks her head to one side. ‘Did you hear something?’
I listen for a
second. There’s absolute silence, not even the distant whoosh of a car on
the road, not the tiniest breeze stirring the grass. But then I hear a sound,
like the rustle of fabric. Bethany
leaps off the bench and squeezes herself in a corner beneath a canteen
window. She waves her hand frantically at me to join her.
‘No one can see
me,’ I say. ‘Wait here, I’ll go and look.’
She nods
silently, her wide eyes reflecting the security light.
I round the
corner of the building and the main yard opens out in front of me.
There’s something strangely exhilarating about not having to be scared any more
and I stride across the grounds. The yard is in gloom but I see two
silhouettes flit past the fence towards the main building. They don’t look like
kids, at least, not little ones. I watch for a few moments but the yard
is still and silent again. Whoever they were, they’ve gone now.
I run back to Bethany.
She’s still in the corner, her breathing shallow, eyes darting everywhere.
‘You need to
go,’ I whisper. ‘And you need to be really quiet.’ I don’t know why I suddenly
feel like she needs to go. And I don’t know why I’m whispering but I
can’t help it.
She doesn’t question
my instructions but scrambles up and makes her way silently along the wall,
keeping as close as she can. I follow her. We reach the edge of the
canteen wall, and the only way to get to the fence now is to break cover. In
silent agreement, we start to run towards the gap in the wire. From the corner
of my eye I see a shadow and before I have a chance to warn her, another figure
steps forwards and blocks her way. A squeal
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