how close I sit I can’t
warm her any. But she looks at me gratefully as if she realises that I’m
trying.
‘Did he want to
know where you were going?’ I ask.
‘Not that,’ she
says, pulling her coat tighter. ‘Sometimes, he just
gets… difficult.’
‘Difficult?
How did you get away then?’
‘I had to wait
until he fell asleep.’
‘He fell
asleep? It’s only about eight o’clock .’
She shrugs. ‘He gets
tired when he’s had a beer or two.’ She smiles slightly. ‘So I made sure he had
a beer or two.’
I’m beginning to
realise that there’s a whole other Bethany
I don’t know at all.
‘What did you do
after I left you at lunch?’ she asks.
‘I wandered around
a bit.’
‘It must be
boring.’
‘It is. Do
you think there are rules to this?’
‘What do you
mean?’
‘I mean, like
about where I can and can’t go?’
‘Can’t you go
anywhere?’
‘Well, there is
only one place in the whole village anyone’s supposed to have seen the plague
kids.’
She nods.
‘Why don’t they
go anywhere else?’
‘That’s just a
story,’ she says slowly, ‘there are no ghosts there really.’
‘How can you say that when I’m sitting right here with you?’
‘I just feel
like you’re different.’
‘But what would happen
if I decided to leave the village? Do I have to stay here to exist? Would I
disappear like smoke on the wind if I didn’t?’
‘I don’t know,’
she replies thoughtfully.
‘I don’t know
how much longer I can go on like this. Maybe one day I’ll be so fed up
that I’ll try to leave to see if that happens. Maybe I won’t care if it
does.’
‘I’d care,’ she
says.
‘You wouldn’t be
here, you’d be at university, or living in London, or Leeds, or Edinburgh doing
some amazing job and living some amazing life, and you’d have forgotten all
about me. Even if you ever remembered I’d be so faded that I’d hardly be
there at all anyway.’
‘Don’t say
that.’
‘Why not? I’m fading, Bethany,
I know it. I think that’s what happened to my dad, that’s why I can’t see him. One day I’ll be so see-through that you’ll forget I was ever here,
just like everyone else has.’
She’s quiet for
a moment, staring into the darkness, ‘I think we should go and see Raven,’ she
says finally.
I shake my head.
‘Why not?’
‘She’s a
fake. I went to her and she couldn’t see or hear me, just like everyone
else.’
Bethany
looks at me with a frown. ‘Maybe she has to do something first, like a séance
or something?’
‘Even if she
does, she’ll want paying.’
‘How much?’
I shrug.
‘Probably loads.’
‘That could be a
problem.’
I look at
her hopefully. Her frown deepens.
‘Sorry,’ I say,
‘that was a stupid thing to ask after how mean I’ve been to you. Why
would you give me your money?’
‘It’s not
that,’ she corrects quickly. ‘I just don’t get much spare cash. I can’t think
of anyone else who might be able to help you, though.’ She stares at the black
expanse of the fields. ‘If we just went to Raven and explained everything,
maybe she’d feel sorry for you and help.’
‘You think
someone who cons upset people by pretending to see their dead family members is
going to help for nothing?’
‘We haven’t even
tried,’ she says. ‘You want to know what’s going on, don’t you? ’
‘Course I do. I
just don’t think it will work.’
‘I googled earlier,’ she says. ‘There was loads of stuff on
there but you can’t ever know what to believe on the internet, can you?’
‘You have a
computer?’
She laughs.
‘Don’t sound so shocked. We’re not that poor.’
‘Is it a good
one?’
Her eyes open
wide. ‘Some things never change, even when you’re dead. Does it matter what computer I have?’
I can’t help but
grin. ‘I suppose not.’
‘But it is pretty crap,’ she laughs.
‘What sort of
stuff did you find out?’
‘Mostly
warm her any. But she looks at me gratefully as if she realises that I’m
trying.
‘Did he want to
know where you were going?’ I ask.
‘Not that,’ she
says, pulling her coat tighter. ‘Sometimes, he just
gets… difficult.’
‘Difficult?
How did you get away then?’
‘I had to wait
until he fell asleep.’
‘He fell
asleep? It’s only about eight o’clock .’
She shrugs. ‘He gets
tired when he’s had a beer or two.’ She smiles slightly. ‘So I made sure he had
a beer or two.’
I’m beginning to
realise that there’s a whole other Bethany
I don’t know at all.
‘What did you do
after I left you at lunch?’ she asks.
‘I wandered around
a bit.’
‘It must be
boring.’
‘It is. Do
you think there are rules to this?’
‘What do you
mean?’
‘I mean, like
about where I can and can’t go?’
‘Can’t you go
anywhere?’
‘Well, there is
only one place in the whole village anyone’s supposed to have seen the plague
kids.’
She nods.
‘Why don’t they
go anywhere else?’
‘That’s just a
story,’ she says slowly, ‘there are no ghosts there really.’
‘How can you say that when I’m sitting right here with you?’
‘I just feel
like you’re different.’
‘But what would happen
if I decided to leave the village? Do I have to stay here to exist? Would I
disappear like smoke on the wind if I didn’t?’
‘I don’t know,’
she replies thoughtfully.
‘I don’t know
how much longer I can go on like this. Maybe one day I’ll be so fed up
that I’ll try to leave to see if that happens. Maybe I won’t care if it
does.’
‘I’d care,’ she
says.
‘You wouldn’t be
here, you’d be at university, or living in London, or Leeds, or Edinburgh doing
some amazing job and living some amazing life, and you’d have forgotten all
about me. Even if you ever remembered I’d be so faded that I’d hardly be
there at all anyway.’
‘Don’t say
that.’
‘Why not? I’m fading, Bethany,
I know it. I think that’s what happened to my dad, that’s why I can’t see him. One day I’ll be so see-through that you’ll forget I was ever here,
just like everyone else has.’
She’s quiet for
a moment, staring into the darkness, ‘I think we should go and see Raven,’ she
says finally.
I shake my head.
‘Why not?’
‘She’s a
fake. I went to her and she couldn’t see or hear me, just like everyone
else.’
Bethany
looks at me with a frown. ‘Maybe she has to do something first, like a séance
or something?’
‘Even if she
does, she’ll want paying.’
‘How much?’
I shrug.
‘Probably loads.’
‘That could be a
problem.’
I look at
her hopefully. Her frown deepens.
‘Sorry,’ I say,
‘that was a stupid thing to ask after how mean I’ve been to you. Why
would you give me your money?’
‘It’s not
that,’ she corrects quickly. ‘I just don’t get much spare cash. I can’t think
of anyone else who might be able to help you, though.’ She stares at the black
expanse of the fields. ‘If we just went to Raven and explained everything,
maybe she’d feel sorry for you and help.’
‘You think
someone who cons upset people by pretending to see their dead family members is
going to help for nothing?’
‘We haven’t even
tried,’ she says. ‘You want to know what’s going on, don’t you? ’
‘Course I do. I
just don’t think it will work.’
‘I googled earlier,’ she says. ‘There was loads of stuff on
there but you can’t ever know what to believe on the internet, can you?’
‘You have a
computer?’
She laughs.
‘Don’t sound so shocked. We’re not that poor.’
‘Is it a good
one?’
Her eyes open
wide. ‘Some things never change, even when you’re dead. Does it matter what computer I have?’
I can’t help but
grin. ‘I suppose not.’
‘But it is pretty crap,’ she laughs.
‘What sort of
stuff did you find out?’
‘Mostly
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