Read Online The Man with Two Left Feet by P. G. Wodehouse - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: P. G. Wodehouse
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speech which places Man in a class of his own, above the ox, the ass, the common warthog, and the rest of the lower animals. It was only when a wave swished over the base of her rock that Mary broke the silence.
âThe tide is coming
in
,â she faltered.
She looked at the sea with such altered feelings that it seemed a different sea altogether.
There was plenty of it to look at. It filled the entire mouth of the little bay, swirling up the sand and lashing among the rocks in a fashion which made one thought stand out above all the others in her mindâthe recollection that she could not swim.
âMr. Wilton!â
Wilton bowed coldly.
âMr. Wilton, the tide. Itâs coming IN.â
Wilton glanced superciliously at the sea.
âSo,â he said, âI perceive.â
âBut what shall we do?â
Wilton shrugged his shoulders. He was feeling at war with nature and humanity combined. The wind had shifted a few points to the east, and was exploring his anatomy with the skill of a qualified surgeon.
âWe shall drown,â cried Miss Campbell. âWe shall drown. We shall drown. We shall drown.â
All Wiltonâs resentment left him. Until he heard that pitiful wail his only thoughts had been for himself.
âMary!â he said, with a wealth of tenderness in his voice.
She came to him as a little child comes to its mother, and he put his arm around her.
âOh, Jack!â
âMy darling!â
âIâm frightened!â
âMy precious!â
It is in moments of peril, when the chill breath of fear blows upon our souls, clearing them of pettiness, that we find ourselves.
She looked about her wildly.
âCould we climb the cliffs?â
âI doubt it.â
âIf we called for helpââ
âWe could do that.â
They raised their voices, but the only answer was the crashing of the waves and the cry of the seabirds. The water was swirling at their feet, and they drew back to the shelter of the cliffs. There they stood in silence, watching.
âMary,â said Wilton in a low voice, âtell me one thing.â
âYes, Jack?â
âHave you forgiven me?â
âForgiven you! How can you ask at a moment like this? I love you with all my heart and soul.â
He kissed her, and a strange look of peace came over his face.
âI am happy.â
âI, too.â
A fleck of foam touched her face, and she shivered.
âIt was worth it,â he said quietly. âIf all misunderstandings are cleared away and nothing can come between us again, it is a small price to payâunpleasant as it will be when it comes.â
âPerhapsâperhaps it will not be very unpleasant. They say that drowning is an easy death.â
âI didnât mean drowning, dearest. I meant a cold in the head.â
âA cold in the head!â
He nodded gravely.
âI donât see how it can be avoided. You know how chilly it gets these late summer nights. It will be a long time before we can get away.â
She laughed a shrill, unnatural laugh.
âYou are talking like this to keep my courage up. You know in your heart that there is no hope for us. Nothing can save us now. The water will come creepingâcreepingââ
âLet it creep! It canât get past that rock there.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIt canât. The tide doesnât come up any farther. I know, because I was caught here last week.â
For a moment she looked at him without speaking. Then she uttered a cry in which relief, surprise, and indignation were so nicely blended that it would have been impossible to say which predominated.
He was eyeing the approaching waters with an indulgent smile.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â she cried.
âI did tell you.â
âYou know what I mean. Why did you let me go on thinking we were in danger, whenââ
âWe
were
in danger. We shall
âThe tide is coming
in
,â she faltered.
She looked at the sea with such altered feelings that it seemed a different sea altogether.
There was plenty of it to look at. It filled the entire mouth of the little bay, swirling up the sand and lashing among the rocks in a fashion which made one thought stand out above all the others in her mindâthe recollection that she could not swim.
âMr. Wilton!â
Wilton bowed coldly.
âMr. Wilton, the tide. Itâs coming IN.â
Wilton glanced superciliously at the sea.
âSo,â he said, âI perceive.â
âBut what shall we do?â
Wilton shrugged his shoulders. He was feeling at war with nature and humanity combined. The wind had shifted a few points to the east, and was exploring his anatomy with the skill of a qualified surgeon.
âWe shall drown,â cried Miss Campbell. âWe shall drown. We shall drown. We shall drown.â
All Wiltonâs resentment left him. Until he heard that pitiful wail his only thoughts had been for himself.
âMary!â he said, with a wealth of tenderness in his voice.
She came to him as a little child comes to its mother, and he put his arm around her.
âOh, Jack!â
âMy darling!â
âIâm frightened!â
âMy precious!â
It is in moments of peril, when the chill breath of fear blows upon our souls, clearing them of pettiness, that we find ourselves.
She looked about her wildly.
âCould we climb the cliffs?â
âI doubt it.â
âIf we called for helpââ
âWe could do that.â
They raised their voices, but the only answer was the crashing of the waves and the cry of the seabirds. The water was swirling at their feet, and they drew back to the shelter of the cliffs. There they stood in silence, watching.
âMary,â said Wilton in a low voice, âtell me one thing.â
âYes, Jack?â
âHave you forgiven me?â
âForgiven you! How can you ask at a moment like this? I love you with all my heart and soul.â
He kissed her, and a strange look of peace came over his face.
âI am happy.â
âI, too.â
A fleck of foam touched her face, and she shivered.
âIt was worth it,â he said quietly. âIf all misunderstandings are cleared away and nothing can come between us again, it is a small price to payâunpleasant as it will be when it comes.â
âPerhapsâperhaps it will not be very unpleasant. They say that drowning is an easy death.â
âI didnât mean drowning, dearest. I meant a cold in the head.â
âA cold in the head!â
He nodded gravely.
âI donât see how it can be avoided. You know how chilly it gets these late summer nights. It will be a long time before we can get away.â
She laughed a shrill, unnatural laugh.
âYou are talking like this to keep my courage up. You know in your heart that there is no hope for us. Nothing can save us now. The water will come creepingâcreepingââ
âLet it creep! It canât get past that rock there.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âIt canât. The tide doesnât come up any farther. I know, because I was caught here last week.â
For a moment she looked at him without speaking. Then she uttered a cry in which relief, surprise, and indignation were so nicely blended that it would have been impossible to say which predominated.
He was eyeing the approaching waters with an indulgent smile.
âWhy didnât you tell me?â she cried.
âI did tell you.â
âYou know what I mean. Why did you let me go on thinking we were in danger, whenââ
âWe
were
in danger. We shall
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