Read Online The Mall of Cthulhu by Seamus Cooper - Free Book Online
Authors: Seamus Cooper
Tags: Science-Fiction
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be really basic, so she included instructions such as "Do not ask anybody anything while you're doing surveillance."
She flipped her laptop closed and found that, though she'd been up for over thirty-six hours, she was too hyper to sleep. Ted was asleep on the couch in front of the Ten O'clock News . Laura sat down to watch, and reflected that Bridget Tran y Garcia was pretty hot, and the next thing she knew it was five a.m.
Laura explained the plan to Ted and called in sick. She then dug out a needle and an old hoop earring and explained to Ted that he needed his ear pierced.
"No way! It's gonna hurt!"
"Don't be a baby. You got shot at, and now you're whining about getting your ear pierced."
"Yeah, well, he didn't shoot at me with needles, okay?"
"I don't care. You need stuff to distract people from your face. You wear a big earring, people will see that and not pay attention to your identifying features that can't be removed."
"Gah, okay, be quick! I hate this!"
Five minutes later, Ted was successfully pierced. Bald and clean-shaven with a gold hoop earring, he looked like a gangly Mr. Clean. Laura changed into exercise clothes, walked down the stairs and started up her Nissan Altima. She drove the five blocks to the Glen Road entrance of Franklin Park and parked her car in what she judged to be the most inconspicuous spot.
She got out of the car, popped her headphones on, and ran the tree-lined path up the hill, around by the high school football stadium, past the basketball and tennis courts and the back entrance to the zoo, and through the dirt path through the woods, and then back up the Hundred Steps, always her favorite place to end a run, even though she almost always had to stop running and start staggering by about step sixty. When she got back to her car she was covered in sweat but felt more awake and alert than anyone carrying as big of a sleep debt as hers should feel.
She got behind the wheel and said, "Ted? Are you in here?"
"Yes, and I'm already cramped up, and my testicles aren't used to this kind of compression. I think I'm gonna be sterile by the time we get to Providence. Isn't this kind of excessive?" he said. "I mean, we couldn't have just left the house normally?"
"Listen. You think there is a far-reaching conspiracy, and that these people want to kill you. We know for a fact that the latter part is true. So if the first part is true, we have to be extra careful. We can't be seen together at all, at least not within a mile of the Queequeg's where they knew you were yesterday."
"So you really think I'm on to something?"
"I think you're nuts, but I'm going to run this operation as if you're not nuts. Whether these people are supernatural cultists or just gangsters, we proceed extra carefully so we can keep you safe."
Ted was silent for a moment. "That's sweet!" he said, and Laura suddenly felt embarrassed. Fortunately, any maternal tenderness she felt toward Ted quickly evaporated when he said, "But wouldn't I be safer with a seat belt on? I'm just saying. In addition to my testicular discomfort, I'm gonna have such a knot in my back by the time we get to Providence that I won't be a very effective investigator, especially given . . . " Laura turned up NPR and tried to drown him out.
Once they arrived in Providence, Laura drove up the hill to Brown University and pulled the car over. "I'm going to go walk down the street to the admissions office to ask for some information for my niece who's coming to visit. Wait five minutes and get out of the car. Spend a couple of hours ogling Brown girls or something—"
"Are we near RISD?" Ted called out from the floor. "Because while I certainly have nothing against the Ivy League cuties, I think I'm more in an art school mood today."
"Knock yourself out. Walk down to the river and ogle the secretaries having lunch if you want."
"Hmmm . . . professional façade, wild, untamed interior? I like the way you think!"
"Christ, Ted, that's the
She flipped her laptop closed and found that, though she'd been up for over thirty-six hours, she was too hyper to sleep. Ted was asleep on the couch in front of the Ten O'clock News . Laura sat down to watch, and reflected that Bridget Tran y Garcia was pretty hot, and the next thing she knew it was five a.m.
Laura explained the plan to Ted and called in sick. She then dug out a needle and an old hoop earring and explained to Ted that he needed his ear pierced.
"No way! It's gonna hurt!"
"Don't be a baby. You got shot at, and now you're whining about getting your ear pierced."
"Yeah, well, he didn't shoot at me with needles, okay?"
"I don't care. You need stuff to distract people from your face. You wear a big earring, people will see that and not pay attention to your identifying features that can't be removed."
"Gah, okay, be quick! I hate this!"
Five minutes later, Ted was successfully pierced. Bald and clean-shaven with a gold hoop earring, he looked like a gangly Mr. Clean. Laura changed into exercise clothes, walked down the stairs and started up her Nissan Altima. She drove the five blocks to the Glen Road entrance of Franklin Park and parked her car in what she judged to be the most inconspicuous spot.
She got out of the car, popped her headphones on, and ran the tree-lined path up the hill, around by the high school football stadium, past the basketball and tennis courts and the back entrance to the zoo, and through the dirt path through the woods, and then back up the Hundred Steps, always her favorite place to end a run, even though she almost always had to stop running and start staggering by about step sixty. When she got back to her car she was covered in sweat but felt more awake and alert than anyone carrying as big of a sleep debt as hers should feel.
She got behind the wheel and said, "Ted? Are you in here?"
"Yes, and I'm already cramped up, and my testicles aren't used to this kind of compression. I think I'm gonna be sterile by the time we get to Providence. Isn't this kind of excessive?" he said. "I mean, we couldn't have just left the house normally?"
"Listen. You think there is a far-reaching conspiracy, and that these people want to kill you. We know for a fact that the latter part is true. So if the first part is true, we have to be extra careful. We can't be seen together at all, at least not within a mile of the Queequeg's where they knew you were yesterday."
"So you really think I'm on to something?"
"I think you're nuts, but I'm going to run this operation as if you're not nuts. Whether these people are supernatural cultists or just gangsters, we proceed extra carefully so we can keep you safe."
Ted was silent for a moment. "That's sweet!" he said, and Laura suddenly felt embarrassed. Fortunately, any maternal tenderness she felt toward Ted quickly evaporated when he said, "But wouldn't I be safer with a seat belt on? I'm just saying. In addition to my testicular discomfort, I'm gonna have such a knot in my back by the time we get to Providence that I won't be a very effective investigator, especially given . . . " Laura turned up NPR and tried to drown him out.
Once they arrived in Providence, Laura drove up the hill to Brown University and pulled the car over. "I'm going to go walk down the street to the admissions office to ask for some information for my niece who's coming to visit. Wait five minutes and get out of the car. Spend a couple of hours ogling Brown girls or something—"
"Are we near RISD?" Ted called out from the floor. "Because while I certainly have nothing against the Ivy League cuties, I think I'm more in an art school mood today."
"Knock yourself out. Walk down to the river and ogle the secretaries having lunch if you want."
"Hmmm . . . professional façade, wild, untamed interior? I like the way you think!"
"Christ, Ted, that's the
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