Read Online The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by Christopher Moore - Free Book Online

pour.
    â€œYou have some explaining to do first, Mr. Bluesman.” Estelle was more than a little rattled. When they wereonly half a mile away from the beach, she had been overtaken by a sudden urge to return and had fought Catfish for control of the car. It was crazy behavior. It frightened her as much as the thing at the beach had, and when they got to her house she immediately took a Zoloft, even though she’d already had her dose for the day.
    â€œLeave me be, woman. I said I’d tell you. I needs me some nerve medicine.”
    Estelle released his hand. “What was that at the beach?”
    Catfish splashed some whiskey into Estelle’s tea first, then into his own. He grinned, “You see my name wasn’t always Catfish. I was born with the name of Meriwether Jefferson. Catfish come on me sometime later.”
    â€œChrist, Catfish, I’m sixty years old. Am I going to live long enough to hear the end of this story? What in the hell was out in the water tonight?” She was definitely not herself, swearing like this.
    â€œYou wanna know or not?”
    Estelle sipped her tea. “Sorry, go ahead.”

six
    Catfish’s Story
    Was ’bout fifty year ago. I was hoboing through the Delta, playin juke joints with my partner Smiley. He called Smiley cause he don’t never get the Blues. Boy could play the Blues, but he never got the Blues, not for a second. He be broke and hungover and he still always smilin. Make me crazy. I say, “Smiley, you ain’t never gone play no better’n Deaf Cotton, lessin you feels it.”
    Deaf Cotton Dormeyer was this ol’ boy we used to play with time to time. See, them days, bunch of Bluesmen was blind, so they be called Blind Lemon Jefferson, Blind Willie Jackson—like that. And them boys could play them some Blues. But ol’ Cotton, he deaf as a stone, a little bit more of a burden than bein blind iffin you playing music. We be playing “Crossroads,” an’ ol’ Deaf Cotton be over on the side playin’ “Walkin Man’s Blues” and a-howlin like a ol’ dog, and we stop, go down to the store, have us a Nabs and a Co-Cola, and Deaf Cotton just keep right on playin. And he the lucky one, ’cause he can’t hear how bad he is. And didn’t nobody have the heart to tell him.
    So, anyway, I says, “You ain’t never gone play no better than ol’ Deaf Cotton, lessin you get some Blues on you.”
    And Smiley say, “You gots to help me.”
    Now Smiley, he my friend from way back—my partner, see. So I says I will get the Blues to jump on him, but he got to promise not to get mad how I do it. So he say okay, and I say okay, and I sets to sic the Blues on him so we can go to Chicago and Dallas and makes us some records and get us some Cadillacs and so on like them boys Muddy Waters and John Lee Hooker and them.
    Smiley, he had him a wife name of Ida May, sweet little thing. He keep her up there in Clarksville. And he always sayin how he don’t have to worry ’bout Ida May when he on the road cause she love him true and only. So one day I tell Smiley they’s a man down Baton Rouge got him a prime Martin guitar he gonna sell for ten dollars, and would Smiley go get it for me cause I got me a case of the runs and can’t take the train ride.
    So Smiley ain’t out of town half a day before I takes me some liquor and flowers and make my visit on little Ida May. She’s a young thing, ain’t much for drinkin liquor, but once I tells her that ol’ Smiley done got hisself runned over by a train, she takes to drinkin like a natural (in between the screamin and cryin and all, and I had my own self some tears too, he being my partner and all, God rest his soul). And before you know it, I’m givin’ Ida May some good lovin to comfort her in her time of grief and all.
    And you know when Smiley get back, he don’t say a word ’bout my