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Jen because she was wringing her fingers in panic. Amanda could be like a kaleidoscope of emotions, shifting from excited to nervous to feisty in a single moment.
    Jen let out a little laugh, but there wasn’t any joy in it. “No, the total opposite, actually.” She slid off her sunglasses, and I could see that her eyes were puffy and face was splotchy red. “Brian and I had a big fight. I told him about the trip, and he lost it,” she said.
    â€œI’m so sorry, Jen.” I instinctively put my arm around her.
    â€œWhat happened? What did he say?” Amanda asked, putting her arm around Jen’s other side. Jen resignedly leaned into us but then straightened resolutely and motioned toward the restaurant entrance. “Let’s grab a table so we can sit and talk.”
    As we pushed through the double glass doors and the doorbell clanged to announce our entrance, we were blasted with warm, cinnamon-scented air. Once inside the booth, I glanced at Jen. I noticed that her clothes were uncharacteristically wrinkled and imagined her slipping into them after grabbing them off Brian’s floor in a hasty getaway. Her eyes had that pained, bloodshot look of someone who knew she was about to lose her best friend. I didn’t want her to feel the inevitable emptiness that comes after a man—who has been the last person you’ve spoken to before falling asleep each night for years—has exited your life. Though I hadn’t been there when she and Brian had first met, I sensed how much she cared for him.
    I gripped the edge of the padded seat, preparing for Jen to start crying, but she surprised me. Rather than rehashing every minute detail like usual, she gave us the CliffsNotes version of her past twenty-four hours with Brian. After a sleepless night filled with tears and talking (and some shouting), they’d both decided to take things one day at a time and see how they felt after she traveled for the first two months. And until then, they weren’t going to make any rash decisions.
    â€œTaking it day by day is probably the best thing to do,” I said, squeezing her hand and thinking that a gradual phaseout might be less painful than a quick break. Travel would give Jen and Brian both physical and emotional distance, and that might help them figure out what they really wanted.
    Then I gave her the same advice I’d given myself many times: “You can always change your mind and come home if you decide that’s best once you’re on the road for a bit.”
    Amanda quickly broke in. “And it sounds trite, but if it’s really meant to be with you and Brian, you’ll figure something out. Even if you do stay on the trip the full year. He could come visit you. You could come back here a couple times if you had to. Or maybe you could meet somewhere halfway.”
    â€œYeah, I think I just need to take my mind off it and get back to the trip planning,” Jen said, her voice cracking slightly.
    â€œAre you sure?” Amanda asked. “Do you really want to do this now?”
    Jen nodded, so I reached for my laptop and sat it next to the mugs of coffee we’d already half downed. Then I pulled from my overflowing tote bag stacks of brochures we’d collected at the travel expo, pens, notebooks, and the Lonely Planet and Let’s Go guidebooks.
    â€œThink about it, this can be the year to live our dreams,” I said enthusiastically. “Most people never get a chance like this in their entire life. Imagine all the things you want to do and places you want to see.” I paused for a minute, chewing my lower lip as I thought. “I have an idea. Let’s each make a sort of dream list, and then we can compare notes. Like for me, I really want to learn how to meditate in India. Write down whatever and don’t censor yourself.”
    I stopped when I saw Jen and Amanda staring at me. Do they think I’m crazy? Or just a hippie