his voice
barely carrying over the sound of the wind, and Chris sighed—but he
didn"t relinquish Xander"s hand.
“Yeah, I do. And the answer is probably. But I don"t want to think
about it.” Chris"s voice became pleading, and Xander couldn"t resist
him, even a little. “Please, Xan? Please, tonight… tonight of all nights,
can we not think about it?”
Xan nodded and kissed the back of Chris"s knuckles. Then he let
go and cranked up the radio. “Kryptonite” was playing, and 3 Doors
Downwas one of Xander"s favorite bands.
They got into the house and each went to shower again—alone. It
was ritual. Something about the patina of fast food and sweat was just so
unpleasant on the skin. It was just like after a game—both of them were
desperate to get the reek of themselves off of their own skin.
42
Amy Lane
When Xander emerged, wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a T-shirt,
and freshly shaved, Chris stuck his head down the hall. “C"mon up here
tonight, "kay?”
Xander padded up the carpeted stairs, one hand on the rail, marking
the way the rest of the house was still in starlight. It was odd—the house
was never still. There was always the comforting murmur of Andi and
Jed, talking after hours. There was always the patter of Penny on the
keyboard as she worked late into the night, struggling into all of the
excelled classes that so badly eluded Chris. There was always the sound
of Chris"s iPod, playing just sub-audio, but Xander knew what was on it.
He knew every song on it, even when Chris got new ones. He knew what
Chris played when he was in a bad mood, and what he played when
they"d won a game, (“Jesus is Just All Right” by the Doobie Brothers.
Xander could never figure out why.)
Tonight he had the iPod plugged into the jack, and what was
coming out was “Small Things” by Blink 182. Of course it was.
When he walked into Chris"s room and looked around, he realized
what a kids" room it still was. Their pennants were on the walls from
taking State two years running, and Chris had three years of best
sportsmanship trophies on his mantel as well. He also had, Xander
noticed, a little surprised, all of Xander"s MVP trophies, as well as the
plaque he"d gotten when he"d gotten his scholarship and athlete scholar
of the year. There were posters of individual Kings players: Vlade Divac,
Peja Stojokowicz, C-Webb, Jason Williams, Scott Pollard; and one
poster of the whole team.
“Peja"s my favorite,” Chris said now into the silence. “You"ll look
just like him when you get all grown and everything.” He was sitting on
the bed, and Xander sat next to him, taking in the way his chest gleamed
a little in the moonlight. Of course Chris wouldn"t wear a shirt. Pretty
Chris, with the hairless chest and the model cut to his chest and arms and
stomach.
Xander grimaced at the choice of Peja. “I"ll need like, a personal
body wax every weekend, you realize that.”
Chris laughed and leaned back on his elbows. He flexed his
stomach, and Xander realized he was preening. “So which one am I?”
The Locker Room
43
“Jason Williams,” Xander replied promptly, because obviously,
he"d thought about it.
“"Cause I"m short. Ha ha.”
“No!” That wasn"t it at all. “Because he"s loyal. He"s got his wife,
right? And they"re like, inseparable. It"s legendary. You"re like that.
You"re like, thick and thin, right?”
Chris"s hand was suddenly on his, and it was a whole different
thing than what they"d been stealing in odd moments for the past two
years. It was suddenly serious in a way they hadn"t been before, ever.
“You can trust me, then,” he said quietly.
Xander shrugged. “Of course.”
Chris shook his head, then lay down on his queen-sized bed,
tugging on Xander"s hand to do the same. Their feet hung off the edge,
when they weren"t sleeping diagonally like Chris usually did, but they
ignored it. He rolled over to his side and leaned in, kissing
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