at?”
I had to think about that one for a few seconds. Then it all came together. The Ox was right. That safe was in such an obvious spot. The first place you’d look,
way
too easy to find. Then the fact that the safe was
open
, which of course these guys didn’t even know. Turn the handle and there it is . . . a perfect, beautiful little black velvet bag with—
God damn, how could I have not seen right through that? It was the perfect last line of defense. So perfect you could almost be forgiven for being so sloppy with everything else. Here they are, boys! A million dollars in diamonds! All yours! Don’t bump your heads on the way out!
“So we were figuring,” Bigmouth said, “if you don’t mind another little trip . . .”
“Our man can’t be back home yet,” the Ox said. “I mean, he’s away for the holidays, right? Who comes back home on New Year’s Day?”
I could hear the Ghost’s voice in my head. Walk away, hot shot. Just turn around and walk away.
Not that I could really do that at the moment, hurtling down the expressway.
But you can’t hit the same place twice, can you? Isn’t that just asking for trouble?
Or maybe this doesn’t even count. We really didn’t hit it at all yet, right?
That’s the line of bullshit I had running back and forth in my head, all the way back to that house in Connecticut. Some things you’ve got to learn the hard way.
We parked around by the back of the property, on the same playground. The house looked just as deserted today. I mean, the Ox was probably right about that. If the owner was gone yesterday, he’d probably be gone today, too.
Nobody stayed with the car this time. “We gotta find that second safe,” Bigmouth said. “We need all the eyes we’ve got.”
Another mistake, of course. This was no time to get sloppy. But I wasn’t going to start a fight over it. So all five of us went down along the tree line to the house. The same window was unlocked. The Ox pushed it open, and Bigmouth climbed inside. I went in next. I was assuming that
somebody
would stay outside to keep watch, at least. I mean, you can’t be
that
dumb, right? I guess I should have known better by then, but at that point I just wanted tofind that second safe so we could get the real payoff and then get the hell out of there.
I knew I wouldn’t find it in the office. I went to the front of the house, then up the stairs. It was one of those houses with the sweeping staircase and the twelve-foot chandelier hanging over the foyer, but I didn’t have time to admire it. I went straight down the long hallway, looking into each room. Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, bathroom. Everything museum quality and looking like nobody had ever lived there. Finally, I got to what had to be the master suite. I went right to the walk-in closet, pushed the clothes aside, and looked carefully at each wall. I didn’t find anything.
When I came back out, I saw Bigmouth looking under the artwork, pulling each frame away from the wall and then letting it back in place. Something told me he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. Not that way. If your decoy is behind a painting, the real thing won’t be.
Bigmouth looked more and more frantic as he went through the room, eventually getting to the point where he was pulling the furniture away from the walls. When he got to the lady’s dressing table, he knocked over at least fifty bottles, nearly every one exploding when it hit the hardwood floor. A few seconds later, my nose was overwhelmed by several thousand dollars’ worth of high-class perfume.
“The fuck is this thing supposed to be?” he said. “If you were some kind of rich Jew bastard, where the fuck would you hide your safe?”
The more agitated he got, the more I felt totally calm. I shuffled through a few of the letters sitting on the desk. I picked up five or six of them and handed them to Bigmouth.
“What? What are these?”
I pointed to the name that appeared on every
I had to think about that one for a few seconds. Then it all came together. The Ox was right. That safe was in such an obvious spot. The first place you’d look,
way
too easy to find. Then the fact that the safe was
open
, which of course these guys didn’t even know. Turn the handle and there it is . . . a perfect, beautiful little black velvet bag with—
God damn, how could I have not seen right through that? It was the perfect last line of defense. So perfect you could almost be forgiven for being so sloppy with everything else. Here they are, boys! A million dollars in diamonds! All yours! Don’t bump your heads on the way out!
“So we were figuring,” Bigmouth said, “if you don’t mind another little trip . . .”
“Our man can’t be back home yet,” the Ox said. “I mean, he’s away for the holidays, right? Who comes back home on New Year’s Day?”
I could hear the Ghost’s voice in my head. Walk away, hot shot. Just turn around and walk away.
Not that I could really do that at the moment, hurtling down the expressway.
But you can’t hit the same place twice, can you? Isn’t that just asking for trouble?
Or maybe this doesn’t even count. We really didn’t hit it at all yet, right?
That’s the line of bullshit I had running back and forth in my head, all the way back to that house in Connecticut. Some things you’ve got to learn the hard way.
We parked around by the back of the property, on the same playground. The house looked just as deserted today. I mean, the Ox was probably right about that. If the owner was gone yesterday, he’d probably be gone today, too.
Nobody stayed with the car this time. “We gotta find that second safe,” Bigmouth said. “We need all the eyes we’ve got.”
Another mistake, of course. This was no time to get sloppy. But I wasn’t going to start a fight over it. So all five of us went down along the tree line to the house. The same window was unlocked. The Ox pushed it open, and Bigmouth climbed inside. I went in next. I was assuming that
somebody
would stay outside to keep watch, at least. I mean, you can’t be
that
dumb, right? I guess I should have known better by then, but at that point I just wanted tofind that second safe so we could get the real payoff and then get the hell out of there.
I knew I wouldn’t find it in the office. I went to the front of the house, then up the stairs. It was one of those houses with the sweeping staircase and the twelve-foot chandelier hanging over the foyer, but I didn’t have time to admire it. I went straight down the long hallway, looking into each room. Bedroom, bedroom, bedroom, bathroom. Everything museum quality and looking like nobody had ever lived there. Finally, I got to what had to be the master suite. I went right to the walk-in closet, pushed the clothes aside, and looked carefully at each wall. I didn’t find anything.
When I came back out, I saw Bigmouth looking under the artwork, pulling each frame away from the wall and then letting it back in place. Something told me he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. Not that way. If your decoy is behind a painting, the real thing won’t be.
Bigmouth looked more and more frantic as he went through the room, eventually getting to the point where he was pulling the furniture away from the walls. When he got to the lady’s dressing table, he knocked over at least fifty bottles, nearly every one exploding when it hit the hardwood floor. A few seconds later, my nose was overwhelmed by several thousand dollars’ worth of high-class perfume.
“The fuck is this thing supposed to be?” he said. “If you were some kind of rich Jew bastard, where the fuck would you hide your safe?”
The more agitated he got, the more I felt totally calm. I shuffled through a few of the letters sitting on the desk. I picked up five or six of them and handed them to Bigmouth.
“What? What are these?”
I pointed to the name that appeared on every
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