robe he wore was his best, but it was covered with patches. I thanked him for coming and told my kitchen to feed the actors before they went on-stage.
The set was simple. A plain red curtain was their background. The master sat on a stool. He tuned his erhu, a two-stringed instrument, and began to play. He produced a sound that reminded me of fabric
being torn. The music was like a cry of grief, yet it was strangely soothing to my ears.
When the opera had begun, I looked around and noticed that I was the only one left in the audience besides An-te-hai and Li Lien-ying. Everybody else had quietly left. The melody was not quite what I had remembered. The tone sounded like wind riding high in the sky. The universe seemed filled with the fabric-tearing noise. I imagined that this was how spirits being chased would sound. My mind's eye could see stony fields and fir forests gradually being covered by sand.
The music finally faded. The master performer lowered his head to his chest as if falling asleep. The stage was silent. I envisioned the Gate of Heaven opening and closing in darkness.
Two women and a man entered the scene. They were wearing big blue blouses. They each had a bamboo stick and a Chinese chime made of copper. They circled the master performer and beat their chime to the rhythm of his erhu.
As if suddenly awoken, the man started to sing. His neck stuck up like a turkey's and his pitched voice became ear-piercing, like cicadas rattling on the hottest summer day:
There is an old lobster
Who lives in a hole beneath a giant rock.
It comes out to look at the world
And it goes back.
I lift the rock to say hello.
Ever since I have seen it
The lobster stays in its hole.
Day after day,
Year after year,
Quietly
Wrapped by darkness and water,
A confident creature
The lobster must be.
It hears the earth's sound
And witnesses its changes.
The mold on its back is growing
Into beautiful green.
Beating their chimes in rhythm, the three others joined the singing:
O lobster,
Know you I do not.
Where do you come from?
Where is your family?
What made you migrate and hide in this hole?
I wish my son had stayed for the entire performance.
8
I had begun to read
The Romance of the Three Kingdoms,
a Chinese emperor's history of the period following the Han Dynasty, encompassing four hundred years. The six volumes were as thick and heavy as large bricks. The book was a mere chronicle of victories, one following another seemingly without end. I had hoped to get to know the characters' interests, not just their military ventures. I wanted to know why these men fought, how each hero was raised and what role his mother played.
After reading the first volume, I came to the conclusion that the book was not going to provide what I was interested in. I could list the names of all the characters, but I still didn't understand the men. The verses and poems about famous battles were exquisite, but I couldn't grasp the reasons they were fought. It didn't make sense to me that men would fight for the sake of fighting. In the end, I comforted myself by thinking that I would be safe—and accomplish great things—as long as I could distinguish the good men from the bad. During what would be my fifty years behind the throne, I would learn that this was not the case. Often the worst plans were presented by my best men, and with the best of intentions.
I learned to trust my instincts more than my judgment. My lack of perspective and experience had made me cautious and alert. On occasion my insecurities would cause me to doubt my instincts, which resulted in decisions that I would come to regret. For example, I expressed reservations when Prince Kung proposed that we hire an
English tutor to teach Tung Chih about world affairs. The court was against the idea as well. I agreed with the grand councilors that Tung Chih was at an impressionable age and could easily be manipulated and influenced.
"His Young Majesty is yet to
Meg Rosoff
Michael Costello
Elise Logan
Katie Ruggle
Nancy A. Collins
Jeffrey Meyers
Lauren Baratz-Logsted
Leslie DuBois
Maya Banks
Sarah M. Ross