Read Online The Lariat (Finding Justus Series) by Ashley Dotson - Free Book Online Page B

me to regain my composure. I wiped at my tears and backed away from him. He was uncomfortable with my outburst, not that I cared too much. I watched the myriad of emotions cross his face. He looked wounded, like a child who had just been scolded. But there was also anger, lust and disgust.
    “Now it’s my turn,” He breathed deeply composing himself. “I’m sorry, Layla, I did not know how you felt. I knew he tied his soul to yours but I thought you may have not understood the seriousness of it. I have never been in love before you. No, that’s not right. I have always been in love with you.”
    My eyes few to his and then quickly away.
    Did he really just say what I think he said?
    My face reddened but not from anger. He continued, knowing he had my full attention even though I could not hold his gaze. He had been waiting for this moment it seems and who was I to rob him of it.
    “I worry that you acted rashly, that you tied your soul to someone unworthy. I know you can protect yourself, but I want that job. I want to stand beside you. Be your partner. I want to be your soulmate.” His bluster was gone like the air from a balloon. He handed me the dish towel and I angrily mopped the tears from my face. He backed away to the other side of the narrow kitchen.
    He may have been done, but I was not, “What does it matter to you?” I snarled. “You just show up here, point out all my flaws, and tell me how to take care of myself. You think you’re my keeper? That’s not exactly the way to a woman’s heart. You may have lived a long time but you obviously need some schooling when it comes to females. You say you love me, but I don’t see how that’s possible.”
    Now it was Cyrus who wouldn’t meet my eyes. His probing had hurt. His condemning questions and proclamation made the past three years of avoidance melt away. My heartbreak over Orrin Darringer was real, raw, and unrelenting. I had run from it, spent three years hiding from it, fueled my darkness, and molded my feelings into an angry ball of fire. But all of the years of fortifying my defenses were wasted. He had knocked them all down that day and shown me that my walls were never very strong to begin with. I was fooling myself, but I hadn’t fooled him at all. Cyrus had broken me and the deep cavern where I once housed my love for Orrin had been laid bare.
    I love you? Are you kidding me? I’m a mess!
    “Does he really mean that much to you? Is he really the only man you could love? Have you closed yourself off for the rest of your days and beyond?”
    I sniffed, not knowing what to say, too afraid I would start crying again. “I feel the need to be honest with you. I don’t know why. The truth is, I just don’t know anymore. I’ve been consoling myself with the idea that if we can’t have today, at least we have forever. But I worry that my devotion might be one-sided. He said he loved me, I know he feels me like I feel him- we’re a part of one another. But being apart from him- I just don’t understand how he can say one thing and do another.”
    He cocked his head and made a face, “Listen to yourself for once, not your daemon. Do you really think so little of yourself? Do you really think it is okay for your soulmate to put you on a shelf and just walk away?”
    “Actually, I walked away.” I pulled a glass out of the cupboard and a glass bottle perched on top of the fridge. It was time to numb the pain.
    “That makes it worse!” he yelled, his eyes darting to the hallway when he remembered Ben was sleeping down the hall. “You had the presence of mind to leave him, yet you’ve never really left.”
    I poured the clear liquid into the tall glass, “I’ve moved on. Sort of. I’ve done a lot with my time apart from him. I’m a college graduate…”
    “You’re a drunk! If you’re so unhappy then why don’t you do something about it?”
    “I am doing something. I’m drinking,” I replied snidely. “I can stop whenever I