Read Online The Ladies of Garrison Gardens by Louise Shaffer - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Louise Shaffer
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the story she'd almost told Perry.
The night before Laurel was leaving for Jackson State, her ma had come into the living room where she was packing. Sara Jayne lit a cigarette and watched for a while. “Think you're getting out, don't you, college girl?” she said. Her voice had the edge that said tonight's drunk would be a mean one. “You're going to walk out of here and get your hot shot degree, and you'll never be back. But it doesn't work like that with us. You think I didn't want more than the shit life I had? You think I wanted to screw up? But that's what we do, college girl. We always screw up.” And then, having delivered those words of maternal wisdom, she took off for the night.
The next morning, Laurel figured she'd get out of the house before Sara Jayne was awake. But as she finished loading up her car, her mother appeared on the porch behind her looking shaky and red-eyed, in the way Laurel knew only too well. Watching Sara Jayne standing there, Laurel had to admit that she would have done anything to get away from Charles Valley and her.
“I know you think I'm a bitch for what I said last night,” Sara Jayne said. “I just don't want you to be disappointed.” Which was so stunningly close to an apology that in spite of herself Laurel went back up to the cabin to give her a hug. “Take care, Ma,” she said.
“You'll be back,” Sara Jayne whispered.
For the first time, Laurel heard the fear in her ma's voice and understood that her mother didn't want Laurel to go because she was terrified to be on her own.
Her ma wasn't right about college—not totally. Laurel hadn't screwed up, but it hadn't been the new start she'd been dreaming of either. The students in her classes seemed young, in ways she had never been. She missed Charles Valley, Denny, and the Sportsman's Grill where the bartender slipped her illegal beers when she sang with Denny's band.
Still, she stayed in school, and she called Sara Jayne once a week. It was one of the few expenses she allowed herself. She made the calls every Friday night at seven, and to her surprise Sara Jayne was always there, even though Friday had always been her big night for partying. Not only was Sara Jayne at home, but she sounded pleased to hear Laurel's voice. There were other signs of change too. Sara Jayne had started waitressing at one of the restaurants at the Garrison resort, and she seemed to be sticking with the job. In spite of reason, history, and all her instincts for self-preservation, Laurel found herself hoping. She told herself it was just the distance and homesickness, but the part of her brain that had always been labeled
sucker
where her ma was concerned wouldn't listen.
So one Friday night, after Sara Jayne talked about a rich lady who had come into the restaurant wearing a string of pearls exactly like Joan Collins on
Dynasty
, Laurel decided to risk buying a Christmas present. It was something she hadn't done since her ma whipped her with a belt years ago for trying to give her a surprise birthday party.
There was a jewelry store near the college, where she ran up a whopping $178 on her brand-new credit card for a pearl necklace the guy swore was real, although it was cultured. For the first time in her frugal life she was in debt, but the small scrap of hope demanded it.
She wrapped the jewelry box in red-and-gold paper three times before she got the creases right and spent hours looking for a card before she finally settled on one with a cat dressed like Santa Claus on it. She drove home with the pearls on the seat next to her. About twenty miles outside Charles Valley her teeth started chattering. About ten miles out of town she began holding a conversation with Sara Jayne.
“You're going to hate those damn pearls, aren't you?” she berated her absent mother. “Or something else will go wrong, something I shouldn't have done or should have done. Because we can't have a good Christmas, can we? There is no way you could just
The night before Laurel was leaving for Jackson State, her ma had come into the living room where she was packing. Sara Jayne lit a cigarette and watched for a while. “Think you're getting out, don't you, college girl?” she said. Her voice had the edge that said tonight's drunk would be a mean one. “You're going to walk out of here and get your hot shot degree, and you'll never be back. But it doesn't work like that with us. You think I didn't want more than the shit life I had? You think I wanted to screw up? But that's what we do, college girl. We always screw up.” And then, having delivered those words of maternal wisdom, she took off for the night.
The next morning, Laurel figured she'd get out of the house before Sara Jayne was awake. But as she finished loading up her car, her mother appeared on the porch behind her looking shaky and red-eyed, in the way Laurel knew only too well. Watching Sara Jayne standing there, Laurel had to admit that she would have done anything to get away from Charles Valley and her.
“I know you think I'm a bitch for what I said last night,” Sara Jayne said. “I just don't want you to be disappointed.” Which was so stunningly close to an apology that in spite of herself Laurel went back up to the cabin to give her a hug. “Take care, Ma,” she said.
“You'll be back,” Sara Jayne whispered.
For the first time, Laurel heard the fear in her ma's voice and understood that her mother didn't want Laurel to go because she was terrified to be on her own.
Her ma wasn't right about college—not totally. Laurel hadn't screwed up, but it hadn't been the new start she'd been dreaming of either. The students in her classes seemed young, in ways she had never been. She missed Charles Valley, Denny, and the Sportsman's Grill where the bartender slipped her illegal beers when she sang with Denny's band.
Still, she stayed in school, and she called Sara Jayne once a week. It was one of the few expenses she allowed herself. She made the calls every Friday night at seven, and to her surprise Sara Jayne was always there, even though Friday had always been her big night for partying. Not only was Sara Jayne at home, but she sounded pleased to hear Laurel's voice. There were other signs of change too. Sara Jayne had started waitressing at one of the restaurants at the Garrison resort, and she seemed to be sticking with the job. In spite of reason, history, and all her instincts for self-preservation, Laurel found herself hoping. She told herself it was just the distance and homesickness, but the part of her brain that had always been labeled
sucker
where her ma was concerned wouldn't listen.
So one Friday night, after Sara Jayne talked about a rich lady who had come into the restaurant wearing a string of pearls exactly like Joan Collins on
Dynasty
, Laurel decided to risk buying a Christmas present. It was something she hadn't done since her ma whipped her with a belt years ago for trying to give her a surprise birthday party.
There was a jewelry store near the college, where she ran up a whopping $178 on her brand-new credit card for a pearl necklace the guy swore was real, although it was cultured. For the first time in her frugal life she was in debt, but the small scrap of hope demanded it.
She wrapped the jewelry box in red-and-gold paper three times before she got the creases right and spent hours looking for a card before she finally settled on one with a cat dressed like Santa Claus on it. She drove home with the pearls on the seat next to her. About twenty miles outside Charles Valley her teeth started chattering. About ten miles out of town she began holding a conversation with Sara Jayne.
“You're going to hate those damn pearls, aren't you?” she berated her absent mother. “Or something else will go wrong, something I shouldn't have done or should have done. Because we can't have a good Christmas, can we? There is no way you could just
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