would fit the bill perfectly.
But it didn't. Not really. If anything, it made me feel worse.
As I sat, absently stabbing French fries into ketchup, I tried to keep Sonia out of my mind. But the more I looked around and tried to clear my thoughts, the more the affection around me underscored my own sense of loneliness. In every booth, it seemed, couples were sharing quiet moments together. Young people, old people--it was as if I were stuck in some sort of bad skit. Everyone was paired off but me. Everyone appeared to be having gratuitous amounts of physical contact but me. I felt ridiculous and needy, but the more I tried to discount this, the more some long-dormant inner voice urged me on to just stop the bullshit once and for all and find Sonia. I needed her, my voice argued. And she needed me.
It was no use trying to talk myself out of it. I had to see her. I waved for my check, paid the odd giraffe of a woman at the counter, and soon found myself driving through the darkened campus streets. It was almost ten o'clock. The library was still open, but very few students were around. There were some motor scooters and bicycles chained up outside, and a few cars parked illicitly in the faculty lot across the street. Two or three students wandered away, talking loudly about a party.
I didn't think Sonia would be there. I didn't know, but something told me she wasn't, so I decided to swing around to the northern tip of campus and dorm row. She was probably in her dorm room, I decided. I knew that if she were there she'd be alone, given that her roommate was in the Keys vacationing with family for a few days.
I parked my car in the resident student lot behind Sonia's dorm hall and made my way up a small, ambling walkway toward the building. It was dark, although the path was very well lit. Large elm and oak trees loomed over me to form a surreal, wooded tunnel. It was beautiful, and I made a mental note to get Sonia out here one night for a little playing under the trees and stars. I'd seen this part of campus before, but not at night, and certainly never with these intentions.
Thinking of her again, I wondered suddenly how in the hell I'd get inside the dorm. There really wasn't a way to do that, unless I lucked out and caught someone coming out or going in. I had a faculty ID, but I didn't have a residence card, and that's what the electronic locks were keyed for.
I made my way down through the path, past a small utility building, a large swimming pool devoid of students, and a beach volleyball court equally deserted. Finally, I stood in front of one of the building's doors. I checked it, just in case, but it wouldn't budge. Fuck . I wasn't surprised, but disappointed. Stepping back away from the building I looked up at the windows, for no other reason than to maybe gain some new perspective. The windows didn't open. It wasn't as if I could yell to someone to let me in. And, of course, even if I could, no one would've let in an older, deranged hack--professor or not--standing outside shrieking to be let in.
Desperation began to set in once again, as I wandered around the building so as to see if I could find any other way in. I couldn't. There were four main doors and a utility room door, but all were locked. I considered picking the lock on the utility room door--the only door without an electronic lock--but I had to admit that I had no idea how to pick a lock. I didn't even know where to start.
By the time I made it back to the first door, I was tired and completely defeated--overwhelmed. Dropping to sit on a bench outside, I and sank my head into my hands. It was hopeless. There was no way I could get inside.
"Dr. Corbis?"
The voice was familiar and sweet. I couldn't recognize it, but I turned quickly. "Yes?"
"Hi, Dr. Corbis, it's Katie. Are you okay?" The speaker was Katie Sutherland from my Cell Biology course last semester. She was a delicate little brunette with a soft, upturned nose and bright, cheerful blue
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