Read Online The Italian Affair by Helen Crossfield - Free Book Online
Authors: Helen Crossfield
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soul is dead,” replied Issy.
“Ok, so if the relationship was THAT passionate and felt so right and Jeremy loved you as much as you did him, which I’m sure he did, why exactly couldn’t he leave his wife? Not all affairs have to end,” said Dan beginning to raise his voice in disbelief.
Issy looked at Dan again, the blistering rays of sun blinding her as she tried to explain.
“All I know is what he told me. Unless he lied, the reason he gave me for not continuing our relationship was that despite being stuck in a loveless marriagehe could not and never would leave it. He was staunchly religious and came from a long-line of almost aristocratic Anglo-Catholic families.”
“So he was from Brideshead Revisited?” Dan said beginning to chuckle despite the tragedy.
Issy smiled briefly too. “Yes pretty much. That’s why when I saw you reading THE book at school I couldn’t believe the coincidence. If you want to imagine Jeremy then all you have to do is think of Charles Ryder. The angst, the inner loneliness, the way he looked, the way he spoke, the way he dressed and the way he held himself.”
“Dark, brooding and unfathomable, he sounds just like the sort of men I fall for. And I’m sorry for laughing just then,” Dan said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean it. But what I want to know is where is this man’s courage? Why stay in a joyless union when life is short and love runs so deep and pure?”
“It was complicated,” Issy replied “really complicated. In the end that is what it came down to and I can’t say I know the full reasons why he finished our relationship. And I doubt now that I will ever know. But I am complicated too probably for different reasons. A lot of things happened in my life well before Jeremy arrived that made me susceptible to falling in love with him. Maybe in the end it was as much my fault as his I‘m only just trying to figure some of it out myself.”
“What sort of things happened in your life that made you fall in love with him?” said Dan who seemed reluctant to let the conversation end now they’d only just got going.
“Lots of really sad things as well as some quite funny quirky things, stuff that I’ve never told anyone before” Issy replied curling her toes at the thought of even trying to explain to a stranger.
“Well. You can‘t get away with saying something like that and then not sharing anything Issy Mead. Not with me around. Not now you’ve got me all interested,” Dan said propping himself back up on his elbows. “I’m even prepared to give up my siesta for you, and I don’t do that lightly.”
Issy squinted up at the sun to buy some time. Here she was on a beach with a man she’d met only that same morning, and she was about to tell him things that were personal, things that she’d never shared with anyone in her life – not even her immediate family – things that she had bottled up years ago. She had no idea if she opened them up now what would happen. The strategy to talk about them was just too risky.
As Issy finally lifted her eyelids and looked over at Dan, she stared at the random freckle formations on his face. Could she trust him? And did she really want to unburden her pain? Where would it get her if she tried to unpack her emotional baggage bit by bit? There were too many parts to her story and none of them fitted together in any logical sequence.
“IF I tell you some of my story I don’t want you to laugh or judge me on it Dan,” Issy said. “I don’t know who I am. I just feel all at sea. I find talking about personal stuff virtually impossible for some reason even now I don’t even know where to begin,” Issy continued nervously picking lichen out of the rock as she spoke.
“I would be honoured if you shared some of your complications with me” replied Dan quietly watching the nervousness in Issy’s hands as they fiddled with the rocks. “I am a master at unraveling things mainly because I’m complex too. But
“Ok, so if the relationship was THAT passionate and felt so right and Jeremy loved you as much as you did him, which I’m sure he did, why exactly couldn’t he leave his wife? Not all affairs have to end,” said Dan beginning to raise his voice in disbelief.
Issy looked at Dan again, the blistering rays of sun blinding her as she tried to explain.
“All I know is what he told me. Unless he lied, the reason he gave me for not continuing our relationship was that despite being stuck in a loveless marriagehe could not and never would leave it. He was staunchly religious and came from a long-line of almost aristocratic Anglo-Catholic families.”
“So he was from Brideshead Revisited?” Dan said beginning to chuckle despite the tragedy.
Issy smiled briefly too. “Yes pretty much. That’s why when I saw you reading THE book at school I couldn’t believe the coincidence. If you want to imagine Jeremy then all you have to do is think of Charles Ryder. The angst, the inner loneliness, the way he looked, the way he spoke, the way he dressed and the way he held himself.”
“Dark, brooding and unfathomable, he sounds just like the sort of men I fall for. And I’m sorry for laughing just then,” Dan said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean it. But what I want to know is where is this man’s courage? Why stay in a joyless union when life is short and love runs so deep and pure?”
“It was complicated,” Issy replied “really complicated. In the end that is what it came down to and I can’t say I know the full reasons why he finished our relationship. And I doubt now that I will ever know. But I am complicated too probably for different reasons. A lot of things happened in my life well before Jeremy arrived that made me susceptible to falling in love with him. Maybe in the end it was as much my fault as his I‘m only just trying to figure some of it out myself.”
“What sort of things happened in your life that made you fall in love with him?” said Dan who seemed reluctant to let the conversation end now they’d only just got going.
“Lots of really sad things as well as some quite funny quirky things, stuff that I’ve never told anyone before” Issy replied curling her toes at the thought of even trying to explain to a stranger.
“Well. You can‘t get away with saying something like that and then not sharing anything Issy Mead. Not with me around. Not now you’ve got me all interested,” Dan said propping himself back up on his elbows. “I’m even prepared to give up my siesta for you, and I don’t do that lightly.”
Issy squinted up at the sun to buy some time. Here she was on a beach with a man she’d met only that same morning, and she was about to tell him things that were personal, things that she’d never shared with anyone in her life – not even her immediate family – things that she had bottled up years ago. She had no idea if she opened them up now what would happen. The strategy to talk about them was just too risky.
As Issy finally lifted her eyelids and looked over at Dan, she stared at the random freckle formations on his face. Could she trust him? And did she really want to unburden her pain? Where would it get her if she tried to unpack her emotional baggage bit by bit? There were too many parts to her story and none of them fitted together in any logical sequence.
“IF I tell you some of my story I don’t want you to laugh or judge me on it Dan,” Issy said. “I don’t know who I am. I just feel all at sea. I find talking about personal stuff virtually impossible for some reason even now I don’t even know where to begin,” Issy continued nervously picking lichen out of the rock as she spoke.
“I would be honoured if you shared some of your complications with me” replied Dan quietly watching the nervousness in Issy’s hands as they fiddled with the rocks. “I am a master at unraveling things mainly because I’m complex too. But
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