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Authors: Nancy Thayer
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perfectionist, she’d give Martha Stewart hives.”
Alice frowned. “I thought Lila had liberated herself from her mother. After all, Eugenie wanted a Hollywood wedding with a cast of thousands. But Lila had the guts to marry Teddy in their sweet private ceremony instead.”
“Yes,” Marilyn agreed, “but Eugenie has turned that to her own use. After all, Eugenie believes it was
her
day they ruined. She’s angry and petulant and she expects them to make amends every single day of their lives.”
“But Lila had a baby!” Faye protested. “Didn’t that cheer Eugenie up?”
“For a while, yes. Eugenie got to give a mammoth baby shower, complete with a swan made from about a zillion gardenias. She’s delighted that the child’s a girl. I swear every day she shows up with a new Prada outfit for the six-month-old. I think what she really wants to do is to move in with Lila and Teddy and run their lives. She’s agitating to have them enroll this
infant
in the most elite preschool in the area. She’s always at their house, or phoning them.”
“That’s not good,” Faye agreed. A terrible thought struck her: had her son-in-law thought
she
intruded too often?
Marilyn gave a rueful laugh. “I know. Teddy’s starting to stop by my place for a drink after work, just to escape what he calls MILDEW—Mother-in-Law’s Deadly Exhaust Waste.”
Alice exploded with laughter. “MILDEW! That’s great!”
“That’s terrible,” Faye protested, but pretended to laugh with the others.
“But so appropriate,” Alice argued. “My mother-in-law drove me nuts. She came over every day when I’d just had my first baby. If he cried, she told me I didn’t have enough milk. Or that my milk was off. She made me absolutely miserable.”
“MILDEW,” Shirley cackled. “Mother-in-Law Delivers Every Woe.”
“MILDEW.” Alice grinned wickedly. “Mother-in-Law Deserves Every Wart.”
“MILDEW.” Marilyn gasped with laughter. “Mother-in-Law Doesn’t Ever Wash.”
Faye waved her hands to get their attention. “Come on, you guys. Not all mothers-in-law are bad. Three of us
are
MILDEWs. And my husband Jack’s mother was heavenly; she was one of my very best friends! And I hope Lars likes
me.
”
“MILDEW!” Alice couldn’t control herself. “Mothers-in-Law Demand Eternal Worship.”
Shirley chuckled. “MILDEW: Mothers-in-Law Don’t Ever Wait! Your turn, Marilyn.”
“Um, MILDEW: Mothers-in-Law Do Everything Wrong!”
“That’s
so unfair
!” Faye lost control. She burst into spectacular tears.
The other three stared at her, astonished.
Marilyn put her hand on Faye’s arm. “Faye? What’s wrong?”
“They’re
moving,
” Faye wailed, scrambling around in her purse for a handkerchief.
“Here.” Alice handed her a clean tissue. “Who’s moving?”
“Laura and Lars and—” Faye felt her chin wobble helplessly. “And Megan!”
“Where?” Shirley asked.
“Why?” Marilyn asked.
“Take a drink of water,” Alice advised Faye.
“Deep breath,” Shirley said.
Faye obeyed. After a few moments, she was calm enough to talk. “Lars had an offer from a law firm in San Francisco.”
“San Francisco,” Shirley echoed. This was bad.
Tears streamed down Faye’s cheeks. “His best friend from college owns the firm. He flew Lars out, then flew the whole family out so Laura could see how she’d like living there. Who wouldn’t like living in San Francisco?”
“Three thousand one hundred and forty miles away,” Marilyn said soberly.
Shirley rolled her eyes. “How can you be so precise?”
Marilyn shrugged. “I have a memory for numbers.”
Faye sobbed harder.
“Oh, come on,” Alice said, using her bossy voice. “There are such things as airplanes.”
Faye shook her head. “I want to be able to see my granddaughter every
day
! At least once a week! I’ve been babysitting her! Now she’ll forget me!”
“She won’t forget you,” Marilyn promised.
“Of course she
Alice frowned. “I thought Lila had liberated herself from her mother. After all, Eugenie wanted a Hollywood wedding with a cast of thousands. But Lila had the guts to marry Teddy in their sweet private ceremony instead.”
“Yes,” Marilyn agreed, “but Eugenie has turned that to her own use. After all, Eugenie believes it was
her
day they ruined. She’s angry and petulant and she expects them to make amends every single day of their lives.”
“But Lila had a baby!” Faye protested. “Didn’t that cheer Eugenie up?”
“For a while, yes. Eugenie got to give a mammoth baby shower, complete with a swan made from about a zillion gardenias. She’s delighted that the child’s a girl. I swear every day she shows up with a new Prada outfit for the six-month-old. I think what she really wants to do is to move in with Lila and Teddy and run their lives. She’s agitating to have them enroll this
infant
in the most elite preschool in the area. She’s always at their house, or phoning them.”
“That’s not good,” Faye agreed. A terrible thought struck her: had her son-in-law thought
she
intruded too often?
Marilyn gave a rueful laugh. “I know. Teddy’s starting to stop by my place for a drink after work, just to escape what he calls MILDEW—Mother-in-Law’s Deadly Exhaust Waste.”
Alice exploded with laughter. “MILDEW! That’s great!”
“That’s terrible,” Faye protested, but pretended to laugh with the others.
“But so appropriate,” Alice argued. “My mother-in-law drove me nuts. She came over every day when I’d just had my first baby. If he cried, she told me I didn’t have enough milk. Or that my milk was off. She made me absolutely miserable.”
“MILDEW,” Shirley cackled. “Mother-in-Law Delivers Every Woe.”
“MILDEW.” Alice grinned wickedly. “Mother-in-Law Deserves Every Wart.”
“MILDEW.” Marilyn gasped with laughter. “Mother-in-Law Doesn’t Ever Wash.”
Faye waved her hands to get their attention. “Come on, you guys. Not all mothers-in-law are bad. Three of us
are
MILDEWs. And my husband Jack’s mother was heavenly; she was one of my very best friends! And I hope Lars likes
me.
”
“MILDEW!” Alice couldn’t control herself. “Mothers-in-Law Demand Eternal Worship.”
Shirley chuckled. “MILDEW: Mothers-in-Law Don’t Ever Wait! Your turn, Marilyn.”
“Um, MILDEW: Mothers-in-Law Do Everything Wrong!”
“That’s
so unfair
!” Faye lost control. She burst into spectacular tears.
The other three stared at her, astonished.
Marilyn put her hand on Faye’s arm. “Faye? What’s wrong?”
“They’re
moving,
” Faye wailed, scrambling around in her purse for a handkerchief.
“Here.” Alice handed her a clean tissue. “Who’s moving?”
“Laura and Lars and—” Faye felt her chin wobble helplessly. “And Megan!”
“Where?” Shirley asked.
“Why?” Marilyn asked.
“Take a drink of water,” Alice advised Faye.
“Deep breath,” Shirley said.
Faye obeyed. After a few moments, she was calm enough to talk. “Lars had an offer from a law firm in San Francisco.”
“San Francisco,” Shirley echoed. This was bad.
Tears streamed down Faye’s cheeks. “His best friend from college owns the firm. He flew Lars out, then flew the whole family out so Laura could see how she’d like living there. Who wouldn’t like living in San Francisco?”
“Three thousand one hundred and forty miles away,” Marilyn said soberly.
Shirley rolled her eyes. “How can you be so precise?”
Marilyn shrugged. “I have a memory for numbers.”
Faye sobbed harder.
“Oh, come on,” Alice said, using her bossy voice. “There are such things as airplanes.”
Faye shook her head. “I want to be able to see my granddaughter every
day
! At least once a week! I’ve been babysitting her! Now she’ll forget me!”
“She won’t forget you,” Marilyn promised.
“Of course she
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