Read Online The History Boys by Alan Bennett - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Alan Bennett
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examinations, but they are a fact of life. Iâm sure you want them to do well and the gobbets you have taught them might just tip the balance.
Hector What did you call them?
Gobbets? Is that what you think they are, gobbets?
Handy little quotes that can be trotted out to make a point?
Gobbets?
Codes, spells, runes â call them what you like, but do not call them gobbets .
Irwin I just thought it would be useful â¦
Hector Oh, it would be useful ⦠every answer a Christmas tree hung with the appropriate gobbets. Except that theyâre learned by heart . And that is where they belong and like the other components of the heart not to be defiled by being trotted out to order.
Irwin So what are they meant to be storing them up for, these boys? Education isnât something for when theyâre old and grey and sitting by the fire. Itâs for now. The exam is next month.
Hector And what happens after the exam? Life goes on. Gobbets!
Headmaster and Irwin .
Headmaster How are our young men doing?
Are they âon streamâ?
Irwin I think so.
Headmaster You think so? Are they or arenât they?
Irwin It must always be something of a lottery.
Headmaster A lottery? I donât like the sound of that, Irwin. I donât want you to fuck up. We have been down that road too many times before.
Irwin Iâm not sure the boys are bringing as much from Mr Hectorâs classes as they might.
Headmaster Youâre lucky if they bring anything at all, but I donât know that it matters. Mr Hector has an old-fashioned faith in the redemptive power of words. In my experience, Oxbridge examiners are on the lookout for something altogether snappier.
After all, itâs not how much literature that they know. What matters is how much they know about literature.
Chant the stuff till theyâre blue in the face, what good does it do?
Dorothy.
Mrs Lintott has appeared and the Headmaster goes .
Mrs Lintott One thing you will learn if you plan to stay in this benighted profession is that the chief enemy of culture in any school is always the Headmaster. Forgive Hector. He is trying to be the kind of teacher pupils will remember. Someone they will look back on. He impinges. Which is something one will never do.
Irwin But itâs all about holding back. Not divulging. Something up their sleeve.
Mrs Lintott I wouldnât worry about that. Whoâs the best? Dakin?
Irwin Heâs the canniest.
Mrs Lintott And the best-looking.
Irwin Is he? I always have the impression he knows more than I do.
Mrs Lintott Iâm sure he does.
In every respect. Heâs currently seeing (if that is the word) the Headmasterâs secretary.
Irwin I didnât know that.
Mrs Lintott Which means he probably knows a good deal more than any of us. Not surprising, really.
Irwin No.
Mrs Lintott One ought to know these things.
Irwin Yes.
Mrs Lintott Posner knows, Iâm sure.
Scripps About halfway through that term something happened. Felix in a bate, Hector summoned, Fiona relegated to the outer office.
Hector I am summoned to the Presence. The Headmaster wishes to see me, whose library books, we must always remember, Larkin himself must on occasion have stamped. âAfter such knowledge, what forgiveness?â
Headmaster You teach behind locked doors.
Hector On occasion.
Headmaster Why is that?
Hector I donât want to be interrupted.
Headmaster Teaching?
Pause .
Hector I beg your pardon?
Headmaster I am very angry.
My wife, Mrs Armstrong, does voluntary work.
One afternoon a week at the charity shop.
Normally Mondays. Except this week she did Wednesday as well.
The charity shop is not busy.
She reads, naturally, but periodically she looks out of the window.
Are you following me?
The road. The traffic lights. And so on.
Pause .
On three occasions now she has seen a motorbike.
Boy on pillion.
A man ⦠fiddling.
Yesterday she took the number.
For the moment I
Hector What did you call them?
Gobbets? Is that what you think they are, gobbets?
Handy little quotes that can be trotted out to make a point?
Gobbets?
Codes, spells, runes â call them what you like, but do not call them gobbets .
Irwin I just thought it would be useful â¦
Hector Oh, it would be useful ⦠every answer a Christmas tree hung with the appropriate gobbets. Except that theyâre learned by heart . And that is where they belong and like the other components of the heart not to be defiled by being trotted out to order.
Irwin So what are they meant to be storing them up for, these boys? Education isnât something for when theyâre old and grey and sitting by the fire. Itâs for now. The exam is next month.
Hector And what happens after the exam? Life goes on. Gobbets!
Headmaster and Irwin .
Headmaster How are our young men doing?
Are they âon streamâ?
Irwin I think so.
Headmaster You think so? Are they or arenât they?
Irwin It must always be something of a lottery.
Headmaster A lottery? I donât like the sound of that, Irwin. I donât want you to fuck up. We have been down that road too many times before.
Irwin Iâm not sure the boys are bringing as much from Mr Hectorâs classes as they might.
Headmaster Youâre lucky if they bring anything at all, but I donât know that it matters. Mr Hector has an old-fashioned faith in the redemptive power of words. In my experience, Oxbridge examiners are on the lookout for something altogether snappier.
After all, itâs not how much literature that they know. What matters is how much they know about literature.
Chant the stuff till theyâre blue in the face, what good does it do?
Dorothy.
Mrs Lintott has appeared and the Headmaster goes .
Mrs Lintott One thing you will learn if you plan to stay in this benighted profession is that the chief enemy of culture in any school is always the Headmaster. Forgive Hector. He is trying to be the kind of teacher pupils will remember. Someone they will look back on. He impinges. Which is something one will never do.
Irwin But itâs all about holding back. Not divulging. Something up their sleeve.
Mrs Lintott I wouldnât worry about that. Whoâs the best? Dakin?
Irwin Heâs the canniest.
Mrs Lintott And the best-looking.
Irwin Is he? I always have the impression he knows more than I do.
Mrs Lintott Iâm sure he does.
In every respect. Heâs currently seeing (if that is the word) the Headmasterâs secretary.
Irwin I didnât know that.
Mrs Lintott Which means he probably knows a good deal more than any of us. Not surprising, really.
Irwin No.
Mrs Lintott One ought to know these things.
Irwin Yes.
Mrs Lintott Posner knows, Iâm sure.
Scripps About halfway through that term something happened. Felix in a bate, Hector summoned, Fiona relegated to the outer office.
Hector I am summoned to the Presence. The Headmaster wishes to see me, whose library books, we must always remember, Larkin himself must on occasion have stamped. âAfter such knowledge, what forgiveness?â
Headmaster You teach behind locked doors.
Hector On occasion.
Headmaster Why is that?
Hector I donât want to be interrupted.
Headmaster Teaching?
Pause .
Hector I beg your pardon?
Headmaster I am very angry.
My wife, Mrs Armstrong, does voluntary work.
One afternoon a week at the charity shop.
Normally Mondays. Except this week she did Wednesday as well.
The charity shop is not busy.
She reads, naturally, but periodically she looks out of the window.
Are you following me?
The road. The traffic lights. And so on.
Pause .
On three occasions now she has seen a motorbike.
Boy on pillion.
A man ⦠fiddling.
Yesterday she took the number.
For the moment I
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