The Great Gold Robbery

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Authors: Jo Nesbø
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only collaborate with people with a proven track record of real robberies.”
    “Oh yeah?” Nilly said, setting down his glass. “And just how do they do that?”
    “They invite us along on a crime spree that
they
planned, not the other way around.”
    “Oh, I see,” Nilly said, and then burped loudly. “Of course, I’ve got a few upcoming crime sprees planned.”
    “You do?”
    “Sure, I’m a robber, aren’t I?” Nilly said.
    “Like what?”
    “Like . . . uh, the easiest money you can imagine. It’ll be like snatching it from old ladies and babies.”
    “
Like what
, I said!” Charlie said impatiently.
    “Snatching it from old ladies and babies, I said!” Nilly repeated.
    “Could you be a little more specific, little guy?”
    “Well, yeah. There’s this, uh, old lady, you see. And this kid, you know?” Nilly began.
    Charlie leaned so far over the table that the
C
on his forehead almost touched the tips of Nilly’s red hair. “Yes?”
    “Yeah, well uh, she’s . . . uh, the kid’s grandmother, and she usually takes her for a walk in her stroller through Hyde Park every morning around nine
o’clock.”
    “Where’s the money in that?” Charlie asked skeptically.
    “In the stroller.”
    “The stroller?”
    “Yeah. This grandmother is filthy rich, but terrified of being burglarized. So she takes the money with her whenever she takes the kid for a walk,” Nilly said, and then leaned back
in his chair and took a swig of his cola. “The grandmother thinks, ‘Who would have the heart to rob an old lady and baby in broad daylight?’ And who would have the heart to do
that?”
    “Heh, heh, heh,” Charlie snickered. “I know someone. Okay, give me the details, little guy.”
    “I HAD TO come up with the details on the spot,” Nilly explained later, lying on the sofa back in their hotel room as Doctor Proctor removed his wig and Lisa pulled
off her fake nose with its attached mustache. “So I said this grandmother would be in Hyde Park at nine o’clock tomorrow morning.”
    “And you expect
us
to play the part of the grandmother and grandchild?” Lisa said with a groan, and then went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, because it was bedtime
for hardworking secret agents.
    “With a stroller full of money?” Doctor Proctor said with a sigh, pulling on his nightcap.
    “Hey, I had to come up with something!” Nilly said, taking off his socks. “If this goes well, Charlie promised I could go on one of their robberies. And once I’m a part
of their gang, I can start pumping them for information, right?” Nilly sniffed his socks and made a face.
    “Where are we going to get the money to fill a baby carriage by tomorrow morning?” Lisa asked. “If we’re supposed to be in the park by nine, the banks won’t even be
open yet!”
    Nilly clasped his hands behind his head and contemplated his toes. “Relax, I have a solution. Just trust
Tartan-Sherl
, people!”
    Doctor Proctor blushed and said, “Aam sorry about that, Nilly. I was trying to call you T-O-R-D-E-N-S-K-J-O-L-D, after the most famous Norwegian naval hero of all time. But, hech, ever
since I took that multilingual pill, my tongue just cannae handle some of the Norwegian sounds anymair.”
    Lisa popped her head out of the bathroom door and stopped brushing her teeth for a minute. “Did you just say you have a solution, Nilly? Great,” she said sarcastically. “The
only thing we can count on is that it’s probably a plan where
you
have all the fun and get to be the hero!” She disappeared back into the bathroom, and they heard more brushing
noises.
    “Lisa,” Nilly said. “Of course it will be fun for you, too. You get to play the lead part tomorrow.”
    “I do?” Lisa called, and for a bit it was quiet from the bathroom. Until she called, “What if something goes wrong tomorrow?”
    “Relax, this is a watertight, bulletproof plan,” Nilly said. “Nothing’s going to go wrong! Because there’s nothing

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