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Authors: Jaroslav Hašek
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singing the Austrian anthem, if you please."
Dr. Pavek saw himself compelled to counter this new manifestation of his patient's loyalty by increasing the dose of bromide.
On the third day Mrs. Muller reported that Schweik was getting still worse.
"In the afternoon, Doctor, he sent for a map showing what he called the seat of war, and in the night his mind started wandering and he said that Austria would win."
"And is he using the powders in accordance with my prescription?"
"He hasn't sent for them yet, Doctor."
Dr. Pavek departed, after having let loose upon Schweik a tempest of diatribes, with the assurance that never again would he treat a patient who declined to accept his medical assistance with bromide.
Only two days were left before Schweik was to appear before the recruiting medical board.
During this time Schweik made the appropriate preparations. First of all he sent Mrs. Muller for a military cap and secondly he sent her to the confectioner round the corner to borrow from him the Bath chair in which he used to wheel his lame grandfather, that bad-tempered old buffer, for a breath of fresh air. Then he remembered that he needed a pair of crutches. Fortunately the confectioner had also kept a pair of crutches as a family keepsake to remember his grandfather by.
All that he wanted now was the bunch of flowers worn by recruits. This also was obtained for him by Mrs. Muller, who during these few days became remarkably thin and wept wherever she went.
And thus, on that memorable day, the following example of touching loyalty was displayed in the streets of Prague :
An old woman pushing a Bath chair, in which sat a man wear-
----
ing a military cap with a polished peak and brandishing a pair of crutches. And his coat was adorned with a flamboyant bunch of flowers.
And this man, again and again brandishing his crutches, yelled, as he passed through the streets of Prague :
"To Belgrade, to Belgrade!"
He was followed by a crowd of people, the nucleus of which-had been an insignificant knot of idlers, assembled in front of the house whence Schweik had proceeded to the army.
Schweik duly noted that the police officers, stationed at various crossroads, saluted him.
In Vaclav Square the crowd around Schweik's Bath chair had increased to several hundred, and at the corner of Kradovska Street it mobbed a German student wearing a cap with the colours of his association, who shouted to Schweik:
"Heil! Nieder mit den Serben !" 1
At the corner of Vodickova Street the mounted police interfered and dispersed the crowd.
When Schweik showed the police inspector in black and white that he was to appear that day before the medical board, the inspector was somewhat disappointed and to restrict the continuance of any disorder he had the Bath chair, with Schweik inside it, escorted by two mounted constables to the headquarters of the medical board.
The Prague Official News published the following report on this occurrence :
PATRIOTISM OF A CRIPPLE
Yesterday morning the pedestrians in the main streets of Prague were the witnesses of a scene which bears admirable testimony that in this grave and momentous epoch the sons of our nation also can give the most sterling examples of fidelity and devotion to the throne of our aged ruler. It is not too much to say that we have returned to the times of the ancient Greeks and Romans, when Mucius Scœvola had himself led into battle, regardless of his burned hand. The most sacred emotions and sentiment were touchingly demonstrated yesterday by a cripple on crutches who was being wheeled along in a Bath chair by an old woman. This scion of the Czech nation was, of his own accord and regardless of his infirmity, having himself conveyed to the army in order that he might give up his life
1 "Three cheers ! Down with the Serbs !"
----
and possessions for his Emperor. And the fact that his war-cry: "To Belgrade !" met with such warm approval in the streets of Prague is only a further
Dr. Pavek saw himself compelled to counter this new manifestation of his patient's loyalty by increasing the dose of bromide.
On the third day Mrs. Muller reported that Schweik was getting still worse.
"In the afternoon, Doctor, he sent for a map showing what he called the seat of war, and in the night his mind started wandering and he said that Austria would win."
"And is he using the powders in accordance with my prescription?"
"He hasn't sent for them yet, Doctor."
Dr. Pavek departed, after having let loose upon Schweik a tempest of diatribes, with the assurance that never again would he treat a patient who declined to accept his medical assistance with bromide.
Only two days were left before Schweik was to appear before the recruiting medical board.
During this time Schweik made the appropriate preparations. First of all he sent Mrs. Muller for a military cap and secondly he sent her to the confectioner round the corner to borrow from him the Bath chair in which he used to wheel his lame grandfather, that bad-tempered old buffer, for a breath of fresh air. Then he remembered that he needed a pair of crutches. Fortunately the confectioner had also kept a pair of crutches as a family keepsake to remember his grandfather by.
All that he wanted now was the bunch of flowers worn by recruits. This also was obtained for him by Mrs. Muller, who during these few days became remarkably thin and wept wherever she went.
And thus, on that memorable day, the following example of touching loyalty was displayed in the streets of Prague :
An old woman pushing a Bath chair, in which sat a man wear-
----
ing a military cap with a polished peak and brandishing a pair of crutches. And his coat was adorned with a flamboyant bunch of flowers.
And this man, again and again brandishing his crutches, yelled, as he passed through the streets of Prague :
"To Belgrade, to Belgrade!"
He was followed by a crowd of people, the nucleus of which-had been an insignificant knot of idlers, assembled in front of the house whence Schweik had proceeded to the army.
Schweik duly noted that the police officers, stationed at various crossroads, saluted him.
In Vaclav Square the crowd around Schweik's Bath chair had increased to several hundred, and at the corner of Kradovska Street it mobbed a German student wearing a cap with the colours of his association, who shouted to Schweik:
"Heil! Nieder mit den Serben !" 1
At the corner of Vodickova Street the mounted police interfered and dispersed the crowd.
When Schweik showed the police inspector in black and white that he was to appear that day before the medical board, the inspector was somewhat disappointed and to restrict the continuance of any disorder he had the Bath chair, with Schweik inside it, escorted by two mounted constables to the headquarters of the medical board.
The Prague Official News published the following report on this occurrence :
PATRIOTISM OF A CRIPPLE
Yesterday morning the pedestrians in the main streets of Prague were the witnesses of a scene which bears admirable testimony that in this grave and momentous epoch the sons of our nation also can give the most sterling examples of fidelity and devotion to the throne of our aged ruler. It is not too much to say that we have returned to the times of the ancient Greeks and Romans, when Mucius Scœvola had himself led into battle, regardless of his burned hand. The most sacred emotions and sentiment were touchingly demonstrated yesterday by a cripple on crutches who was being wheeled along in a Bath chair by an old woman. This scion of the Czech nation was, of his own accord and regardless of his infirmity, having himself conveyed to the army in order that he might give up his life
1 "Three cheers ! Down with the Serbs !"
----
and possessions for his Emperor. And the fact that his war-cry: "To Belgrade !" met with such warm approval in the streets of Prague is only a further
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