Read Online The Girl Who Wrote Erotica, Book One: The Method (Contemporary Romance) by Angela Jordan - Free Book Online

got something else on my mind.”
     
    It wasn’t so much that I felt weird about having this sort of fling with Jamie and agreeing of my own accord to play out this scenario to the end. No, the weirdness I was feeling came from the fact that I didn’t seem to buck against it now. It came from the idea that I was comfortable with this decision. I could feel my resistance wearing away, ever so slightly.
     
    Where had the old Natasha gone, the woman I knew so well – and who had she left in her place?
     
    I still felt out of character as I entered the coffee shop and walked up to the table where Sam was already seated, motioning me to sit down beside her. She’d already ordered my drink.
     
    “So, tell me what you did to break out of the writer’s block,” she said, by way of greeting. “Tell me everything.”
     
    I smiled. “Good morning to you as well, Sam,” I said with a laugh. “Well… okay, I’ll just start from the beginning. Last night I decided to do some more research – you know, to get some more material for the story.”
     
    She raised an eyebrow. “So you met another guy yesterday after I left? What, are you going the threesome route now?”
     
    I laughed, but my smile faded quickly after that. “No, I didn’t meet anyone new. I decided to try a new perspective on things… so I called Jamie.” The shock on her face showed how well she knew me. “I know, I know, it’s totally out of character. But I don’t plan to make this any sort of relationship, trust me.” I was babbling now, but I couldn’t stop. “I just thought I could carry on a short fling like my characters do. You know, to see what it’s really like. And since I have Jamie on call most recently, he was the right choice. It’s fine, it’s nothing. It’s nothing.”
     
    Sam shook her head. “Are you trying to convince me of that, or to convince yourself?”
     
    I shook my head slowly. “I just… I don’t know, Sam.”
     
    She took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes. “I think this will be good for you, Tasha. You may not be the type to settle down, but I don’t think you’re as wild as you try to be.”
     
    Her words stung a bit, even thought she hadn’t meant them to. I considered her remark for a moment. Was that really the problem? Was I just too scared to try anything more than a one-night stand?
     
    For the moment, I shook it off. “Either way, I’m only in this for a short time. I’m actually going on vacation in two weeks, and I’ll say my goodbyes to Jamie when I head out.” She looked skeptical, and I squared my shoulders. “I mean it, Sam. I can already tell you, after actually allowing him to spend the night – to cook breakfast in my kitchen, of all things – I don’t feel anything, and that’s not going to change.”
     
    “I don’t believe you,” she said. “If that’s true, then why did you call me here?”
     
    I waved her off. “I don’t want a relationship,” I insisted. “I just want good sex that I can turn into incredible erotica that sells. That’s it. I’ve been hurt before, okay? And hurt bad enough to know that I don’t want it to happen again.”
     
    “Is that what this is about? Is that why you turned to this lifestyle?” Sam sat back in her chair, clearly stunned. “Look, Tasha, life is about hurt. That’s how we experience growth: through pain, and loss, and sorrow. We learn a lot through those things – about ourselves, about who we are. Life is a process. You can’t just skip out on the hard parts.”
     
    She sounded so wise, and I hated her for it. She was so much younger than me; how could she preach to me about love and loss? How could she tell me what was best for me, and about what I needed in order to grow? This was why I had so few friends. Too many people thought they knew better than you and tried to control you. Angrily, I stood and grabbed my purse and my coffee.
     
    “I can see we have a difference of opinion. Listen, Sam, I’m