noticed him.
He was staring as Homer Pyle had stared when first encountering Vera Upshaw,
with this difference that Homer had had no doubt from the start that what he
was goggling at was a corporeal entity, while he was under the impression that
he was seeing something in the nature of a mirage or figment of the
imagination, possibly an astral body that had somehow managed to get transported
from Bournemouth to the west end of London. Then she looked up, smiled an
enchanting smile and waved a cordial coffee spoon.
‘Well!’
she said, as he bounded forward, tripping over a Maharajah. ‘G. G. F. West, if
I mistake not.’
Jerry
collapsed on to the banquette beside her. Somebody in the vicinity seemed to be
playing the trap drums, but investigation told him that it was only his heart
beating.
This,’
he said, ‘is amazing. I thought you were in Bournemouth.’
‘I am
in Bournemouth, or I shall be there again ere yonder sun has set. I came up for
the day on business.’
‘Oh,
you aren’t here permanently?’ he said, disappointed.
‘No,
just passing through.’
That’s
too bad. Well, let’s have lunch.’
‘I’ve
had lunch.’
‘Have
another.’
‘No,
thanks. But don’t let me stop you.
‘It
would take a good deal to stop me.’ said Jerry. ‘If you must know it, I came in
here to gorge. And to check the “Greedy pig” which I see trembling on your
lips, I must explain that my mid-day meal today was to be a celebration. I don’t
know how much you know about peddling cartoons?’
‘Not
much.’
‘Well,
on Wednesday you make the round of the magazines with your little portfolio,
and if you’re lucky, you sell a single cartoon after four or five unsuccessful
shots, art editors as a class being incapable of recognizing a good thing when
they see one.’
‘Like
the base Indian one used to hear about at school who threw the pearl away
richer than all his tribe. Why base?’
‘He
sang bass!’
‘Of
course. Well, press on. You were saying that you’re lucky if you sell a single
cartoon after four or five unsuccessful shots.’
‘Six or
seven sometimes.’
‘But
today?’
‘Precisely.
But today I sold my whole output at the very first place I went to.’
‘Why,
that’s wonderful!’
‘It’s
stupendous.’
‘I don’t
wonder you felt you had to celebrate. I only hope I’ll have the same sort of
luck.’
‘In
what way?’
This
business of mine I’ve come up from Bournemouth about. What would you say it
meant when a lawyer writes to you saying that if you call on him, you will
learn of something to your advantage?’
‘It
ought to mean money.
‘I
trust it does, because on the strength of those kind words I did myself well at
lunch. I felt I could afford it.’
Then
you’ve had that sort of letter?’
‘It
came this morning.’
‘It
ought to mean that someone’s left you a legacy.’
‘It
ought, oughtn’t it. But I can’t think who.’
‘Have
any of your relations died lately?’
‘Not
that I know of. And none of them have any money, anyway.
‘Some
old school crony from Cheltenham? Some girl who scored a goal at hockey because
you passed to her at just the right moment.’
‘But
what would she be doing, dying? She would be in her early twenties.’
‘I see
what you mean. Yes, it’s mysterious.’
‘My
aunt thinks it’s a trap.’
‘What
kind of trap?’
‘White
slavers. They lure me into their den, pretending to be lawyers, and chloroform
me and ship me off to South America.’
‘Why
you particularly?’
‘I
suppose they’ve got to chloroform somebody.’
‘Yes,
there’s that, of course. And they just happened to hit on you.’
‘My
aunt thinks they keep a list.’
‘Would
you say it seemed likely?’
‘Nothing
my aunt thinks ever seems likely.’
‘Where
did these lawyers write from? Don’t you feel that a lot depends on that? I
mean, if it was from Joe the Lascar’s underground cellar in Limehouse, that
doesn’t look so
He was staring as Homer Pyle had stared when first encountering Vera Upshaw,
with this difference that Homer had had no doubt from the start that what he
was goggling at was a corporeal entity, while he was under the impression that
he was seeing something in the nature of a mirage or figment of the
imagination, possibly an astral body that had somehow managed to get transported
from Bournemouth to the west end of London. Then she looked up, smiled an
enchanting smile and waved a cordial coffee spoon.
‘Well!’
she said, as he bounded forward, tripping over a Maharajah. ‘G. G. F. West, if
I mistake not.’
Jerry
collapsed on to the banquette beside her. Somebody in the vicinity seemed to be
playing the trap drums, but investigation told him that it was only his heart
beating.
This,’
he said, ‘is amazing. I thought you were in Bournemouth.’
‘I am
in Bournemouth, or I shall be there again ere yonder sun has set. I came up for
the day on business.’
‘Oh,
you aren’t here permanently?’ he said, disappointed.
‘No,
just passing through.’
That’s
too bad. Well, let’s have lunch.’
‘I’ve
had lunch.’
‘Have
another.’
‘No,
thanks. But don’t let me stop you.
‘It
would take a good deal to stop me.’ said Jerry. ‘If you must know it, I came in
here to gorge. And to check the “Greedy pig” which I see trembling on your
lips, I must explain that my mid-day meal today was to be a celebration. I don’t
know how much you know about peddling cartoons?’
‘Not
much.’
‘Well,
on Wednesday you make the round of the magazines with your little portfolio,
and if you’re lucky, you sell a single cartoon after four or five unsuccessful
shots, art editors as a class being incapable of recognizing a good thing when
they see one.’
‘Like
the base Indian one used to hear about at school who threw the pearl away
richer than all his tribe. Why base?’
‘He
sang bass!’
‘Of
course. Well, press on. You were saying that you’re lucky if you sell a single
cartoon after four or five unsuccessful shots.’
‘Six or
seven sometimes.’
‘But
today?’
‘Precisely.
But today I sold my whole output at the very first place I went to.’
‘Why,
that’s wonderful!’
‘It’s
stupendous.’
‘I don’t
wonder you felt you had to celebrate. I only hope I’ll have the same sort of
luck.’
‘In
what way?’
This
business of mine I’ve come up from Bournemouth about. What would you say it
meant when a lawyer writes to you saying that if you call on him, you will
learn of something to your advantage?’
‘It
ought to mean money.
‘I
trust it does, because on the strength of those kind words I did myself well at
lunch. I felt I could afford it.’
Then
you’ve had that sort of letter?’
‘It
came this morning.’
‘It
ought to mean that someone’s left you a legacy.’
‘It
ought, oughtn’t it. But I can’t think who.’
‘Have
any of your relations died lately?’
‘Not
that I know of. And none of them have any money, anyway.
‘Some
old school crony from Cheltenham? Some girl who scored a goal at hockey because
you passed to her at just the right moment.’
‘But
what would she be doing, dying? She would be in her early twenties.’
‘I see
what you mean. Yes, it’s mysterious.’
‘My
aunt thinks it’s a trap.’
‘What
kind of trap?’
‘White
slavers. They lure me into their den, pretending to be lawyers, and chloroform
me and ship me off to South America.’
‘Why
you particularly?’
‘I
suppose they’ve got to chloroform somebody.’
‘Yes,
there’s that, of course. And they just happened to hit on you.’
‘My
aunt thinks they keep a list.’
‘Would
you say it seemed likely?’
‘Nothing
my aunt thinks ever seems likely.’
‘Where
did these lawyers write from? Don’t you feel that a lot depends on that? I
mean, if it was from Joe the Lascar’s underground cellar in Limehouse, that
doesn’t look so
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